Follower

I changed the name of my blog to "Follower". I did this because I am devoting my time and energy into seeking God's wisdom and following Jesus as a role model for my life. My old title "The Human Experience" was fitting for my experiences in life, but as I am growing, I know all of my experiences will be as a result of following Him.
I hope that my postings will challenge people to think about what God is doing in their lives. As I am a follower of other inspirational blogs, I hope that followers of my blog will be challenged to follow Christ as well.
Peace!

Who, What, Why?

Have you ever wondered why a certain person has been introduced to your life and questioned the purpose and timing of the introduction as well?

I met this guy a few months ago, who stumbled into our men's group. I remember asking him to share a little bit of his life story with me, and I remember thinking that he is going through the ringer and how awesome it is that he is walking with God to get through it. I never really questioned my knowing him at the time, but that changed yesterday.

Over the weekend I approached this guy to inquire about his drywall skills for a job that I am doing. He gladly accepted the job and mentioned that he really needed the work. He called me yesterday to ask me if I could drive him to the bank and then to a couple other places because his car is not running. I told him that I could, but it would have to wait until tomorrow. He then asked me if I would like to purchase some tools from him because he is really hurting for money. He mentioned that the electric company is going to shut off his electric this week because he can't afford to pay that bill either. I didn't respond to what he was telling me because I have had bad experiences of being taken advantage of in similar circumstances in the past. I simply said that I would pick him up tomorrow and that I would pray for him as well.

I was driving home from the gym yesterday and I found myself thinking of what he told me and I began to ask God about him. Why do I have a soft spot (or weakness) for this kind of person? Why is he asking me for help? What is the ultimate reason for knowing this person? God, what am I supposed to do? These were some of the questions that were rambling through my mind during my thirty minute drive home.

This morning, I woke with the same questions going through my mind. I had an appointment with my counselor (I am seeking counsel for personal matters) this morning, and this topic came up. I was asked if I am sad about anything, and I used this for my answer. I am sad because this guy is having a rough time, and I want to help him. I know, ultimately, he has to make choices to help himself, but I feel like God put him in my life so I can help him. Why do I know him? How can I help?

We continued through my session and then my counselor asked me if I am confused about anything. The word "DISCIPLE" appeared in my thoughts. What does a modern day disciple look like? And how is that different from a pastor? Am I being called to disciple this guy? Or, is he being called to disciple me? I answered my counselor's question with these questions. We discussed my ability to disciple and the possibility that this guy could learn something from me, and then moved on to the next question. When I left his office this morning, I was still wondering the opposite. Maybe he is supposed to disciple me, but what could I possibly have to learn from him?

About an hour ago, I got my answer. I picked up my friend, as promised, to take him to run his errands. We got to talking and in a matter of minutes, we were sharing some pretty deep stuff with each other. I remember asking him about his kids when I met him a few months back. I remember him telling me how he hasn't spoken with a couple of them since his divorce several years ago. I remembering hearing the hurt in his voice when he shared that with me. I asked him how things were going lately and he immediately broke into tears. With all of his might to pull himself together, he shared a story of some recent time spent with his son who still has a lot of aggression towards him. He said that, as he was dropping his son off after their visit that day, his son hugged him and smiled. He told me that his son was mad at him for all of those years because he was never there for him. Never at a ball game. Never payed attention to him at home. His son felt like he was more of a slave to his dad than a son.

That hug was a break through for them!

As I dropped my friend off today, I drove away asking myself: Do my kids feel like a slave to me? Am I there for them at home? Am I there for them outside of our home? Maybe it's not me asking myself these questions. Maybe it's God asking me through a friend's life example. Maybe I was being discipled. Thank you God, for my new friend and what you are teaching me through him.

Matthew 28:16-20
¹⁶Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

maybe

maybe, I can love her better.

maybe, I can serve her more often.

maybe, I can be quiet.

maybe, she deserves better.

maybe, she is waiting for me.

maybe, she loves me.

UC Bearcats & Tiger Woods

Judging Others
Matthew 7:1-6

¹"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

⁶"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

So we all know by now (thanks to the media) that Tiger Woods was having an affair. And, as of yesterday, we now know that Brian Kelly (UC football head coach) accepted the head coach position at Notre Dame.

It's easy to pass judgment on these. Tiger has been a great role model and an athletic idol for a long time now. What takes a decade to establish can be destroyed in a week, thanks to sinless efforts of the media. Who are we to judge? Who of us doesn't struggle with sin on a daily basis? Tiger Woods is no different from any of you or myself. He is just a man. He is not perfect. He, like all of us, is a sinner. Why then, are we so quick to point our fingers and condemn? Because, he is looked up to? We should be looking up to Jesus and setting His standards for are lives, not some golfer's. Would any of us want our lives to be exploited and made public when we have our falls from grace? I think not. There is a lot to be learned about how he picks himself up from this fall. I just hope that he asks God for His assistance. In the mean time, turn off the TV or change the channel when another media source is bashing him, and lift he and his family up in prayer.

As for Brian Kelly, the last time I checked, he is just a human as well. A sinner like the rest of us. So he used The University of Cincinnati to build his resume to get his dream job at Notre Dame. So he lied about it. So he won't be there to coach the last game at The Sugar Bowl. What about all the good he has done? Now that he won't be a part of our precious team, we are so quick to cast stones at him. Who of us hasn't pursued something in life? Who of us hasn't set standards and bailed out when something better came along? The example that he is setting for the students and athletes is not new to them. I think that example has already been established by their home life and by society itself. No, I'm not saying that I agree with it or it's o.k. My question is: Does it stem from our own selfish motives to judge someone else's decisions? Think about that one for a while. Pray for him as well. Forgive him if you hold him in contempt.

John 8:1-11

¹But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. ²At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" ⁶They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." ⁸Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

⁹At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

¹¹"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Christ Centered Marriage

This is actually a post written by Matt Chewning, one of the bloggers that I follow. It really spoke to me in the season that I am in, so I thought I would share it. Keep in mind that I have no authority to teach or preach, but I think Matt did a great job at sharing this message. Matt Chewning is a resident of North Carolina, but is being called to plant a church in Boston. You can read more of his posts at his blog: The Chewning's Journey Towards A Church Plant In Greater Boston.

1 Peter 3:5-7

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Sin separates. The hardest relationship in the world is the marriage. Two people trying to come together and do life as if they are one is an element of disaster, however, this is God’s plan. The problem with this is that we are a selfish and sinful people who desire to have things the way “we” want when “we” want them. Since that is the case, anytime you bring two people together to exist in the manner that God calls us, there are many obstacles to overcome.

Over the years, through reading scripture and personal experience, I have come to understand something about marriage. I will call this more of an observation than something that I have mastered, because God knows that I haven’t figured this out at all. I often wondered why God is so big on women submitting to their husbands and husbands being “loving and gentle” with their wives. I mean, of all the things that God could have told men and women to do in his Book, why choose to tell husbands to “love” their wives and women to “submit” to their husbands?

To help get a grasp on this, I think it is necessary to first understand what the gospel (good news) of Jesus Christ is. Jesus is one of the three God heads of the Trinity, referred to as the Son. He has always been and always will be. He is the head of the church; He is our mediator to the Father and the sender of the Holy Spirit. He is creator and Isaiah says that He sits at the right hand of the Father, receiving worship from all of heaven. In Genesis, as the Trinity was making creation, it says that Jesus was there in beautiful rhythmic harmony with the Father and the Spirit, as man was being created in His image. After sin enters into the world in Genesis 3; Jesus, in order to save Gods elect and enter into relationship with Him; leaves the comforts of home (Heaven) and enters into His creation to live as a sinless, humble man; under humble circumstances; live the life that humanity could not live, and die the death that humanity deserves, only to be raised back to life on the third day; overcoming sin, death and absorbing the wrath of God because of our rebellion.

The crazy part of this story is that God did this for self-glorifying people who were God haters, selfish, proud sinners and on their best day had nothing to offer God. The bible states that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. It says that Christ who knew no sin, became sin, so that sinners could be the righteousness of God. This is a beautiful story of loving the unlovable; one in which just about every great movie or novel is about. This is a story of a man giving up his life so that others may receive life. In essence, Jesus is our Hero.

How does this affect a marriage? The main reason we see God often speaking about how a man should “Love” and “Be Gentle” with his wife is because that is counter intuitive with our sinful nature. The same is true for a woman. God tells the wife to “Submit” to her husband, because a women’s natural sinful tendency is to lord over her husband and run his show.

As a husband, my natural desire is not to be gentle with my wife. Actually the opposite is true. My natural tendency as a sinful man is to be harsh with my words, brash with my attitude, and manipulative with my ways. Concerning how I love my wife; as a sinful man, my initial tendency is to love her when it is only convenient for me. I choose to love her when I want something from her or I will love her because of what she has to offer me. My natural tendency is never to love my wife because of who I am. Instead, I choose to love her for selfish motives. This is why it is so easy to say unloving things when husbands don’t get their way, to emotionally disengage, or in the worst of cases, become physically overbearing to a wife who is physically much weaker than her husband.

The wife, is not too different in her sin. A wives sin typically revolves around her desire for headship and leadership in a home. This has been going on since our first parents Adam and Eve walked the earth. As a matter of fact, sin first enters into the world, because Eve desires leadership, therefore sins, and then leads her husband to sin as well. God himself says in Genesis 3 that although a man will be called to lead his wife; the wife will desire to have the husband’s role as the leader of the marriage. Because of this, many wives are considered a nag. Proverbs compares a woman like this to the annoyance of a leak in the roof on a rainy day. This typically plays out in all sorts of ways. Most often because a wife cannot be physically superior; she becomes her husband’s greatest critic. Constantly criticizing every things he does; from his driving, the way he eats, the way he dresses, the way he parents, the way he pursues sex, the way he provides, the way he talks to her, and even his motives when he decides to love her well. Again, because her ultimate desire to lead, she will continually nag at his leadership and undermine the way that he does everything.

How can a marriage overcome this? To be honest, it almost seems hopeless and too broken of a system to overcome. However, Christ is in the business of reconciliation man to himself and his ways. 2 Corinthians puts it this way in chapter 5 “In Christ, God is reconciling the world to himself.” In other words, as we look at Christ and centralize the gospel in our lives, we will find God’s original intention and order for all of our ways. That being said, we now have to look at Christ in order to understand how marriage can work.

As we learn what our sinful tendencies in marriage are, we should be looking to choose to submit to Christ’s teachings in order to have a biblical marriage even as it gets hard. Looking at the gospel helps us endure when it seems too difficult. Before Christ was crucified for our sin, he went to the garden to wrestle with God. You see him pleading with God to change his ways and defeat sin in a way that did not require Him to separate from the Father and experience His wrath. However, after Christ wrestles with God, he humbles himself to God’s process. He does this out of Love for God and not love for Himself. If he loved Himself more than the Father, he would have avoided the cross and death and not have experienced the wrath and resurrection that saves sinful man. In the same way, we too need to wrestle with God. Gods design on a Godly marriage goes totally against our intuitive ways on how to go about relationships. In all honesty, God’s design for marriage is just too selfless.

Husbands and wives, dream with me for a minute.

Can you imagine a marriage that really fulfills Ephesians 5:21”Submit yourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ”? Husbands, what if you pursued never saying another harsh, unloving word to your wife again? What if you looked to continually encourage your wife without any selfish motive or self seeking reason? What if you were gentle with her and kept your tone low and honored God with your words, looking to build her up and lead her as if she were really God’s child? Wives, you’re not off of the hook either. What if you fought every desire to lead and criticize your husband knowing that blessing comes from submitting to your husband because that’s God design? What if you chose to follow his leading; allowing him to do things the way that he desires without manipulating him and urging him to do things the way that you want it done? What if you thought the best of your husband and believed that his motives were always in love and honor to both God and you?

How would this change your communication? The way you fight? The way you make love and desire each other? The way you parent together? The way you seek to give rather than receive?

The trick to all of this is found in the Gospel as well. Again, the Gospel says that all have sinned against God and fallen away; but despite our sin and while we were still sinners, Christ died. In other words, Christ didn’t love us because there was anything special about us, he loved us because there was something special about Him. In marriage, the same is true. We are commanded to “Love” and “Submit” not because your spouse is “Lovable” or “Submission Worthy”, but instead we are to Love and Submit despite their sinfulness at times. Doing this despite sin is the mark of a true Gospel Centered person who is more interested in being obedient to Christ than they are in responding to sin by sinning themselves. Let’s be honest, when a wife is trying to Lord over her husband because she feels that she can lead better, she is sinning. The same is true when a husband is choosing to not deal with his wife in a lovable way because she is being unlovable. We are not free to sin because our spouse first sinned against us. That is when this gets really hard, because we want to treat people with an appropriate response to how we are being treated. But, the gospel says that Christ treats us with love while we are unloving towards him; He is our great example.

Typically a marriage gets stuck in a never ending spiral of, what I will call, “Responsive Doing.” In other words, because He is not leading well, She will respond by sinning and taking over. Because she has taken over, He will respond with sin and be harsh with her. Because he was harsh with me, I will nag him and criticize every thing he does. Because she’s always nagging and criticizing, I will not love her well. And the spiral goes on and on and on.

Wives, allow your husbands to lead not because he is a great leader, but because of your desire to love Christ and obey his commands. Husbands, love your wives well and be gentle with her, not because she is lovable, but because of your desire to love Christ and obey his commands. Wives, make it easy for your husbands to lead by not criticizing every thing he does. Husbands, make it easy for your wives to follow you by leading well. Do nothing out of selfishness, but consider your spouse better than yourself.

Ultimately, Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." – Ephesians 5

Keep in mind, repent quickly and forgive graciously.

100 Random Things About Me

1. I Love Jesus
2. I am married to Ann (Lauer) Calcara
3. I have three kids (Dominick, Eleana, Anthony)
4. I am a 10 year veteran of the United States Air Force
5. I served in the Persian Gulf in 1991
6. My favorite ice cream is chocolate moose tracks
7. I have an architecture/engineering degree
8. I've been to Honduras on a mission trip
9. I grew up in Columbus, Ohio
10. I am Sicilian (great, great grandfather immigrated)
11. I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico for 4 years
12. My favorite colors are black, red, yellow & blue
13. My birth date is March 20, 1970
14. I love watching "Dancing With The Stars"
15. I am taking Muay Thai & kickboxing lessons
16. My wife is my first true love
17. I became a Christian in 1998
18. My favorite car is the Ford Mustang
19. I want to take drum lessons
20. My favorite Italian meal is Lasagna
21. I have a dog named Coco
22. I love thunderstorms
23. I am an avid bicyclist (road & mountain bike)
24. My favorite beer is Sam Adams
25. I am a sinner (see 26)
26. I am redeemed
27. I am a self-taught Cabinet Maker & Woodworker
28. I assisted in building a log house (from ground up) in Albuquerque
29. I have been to 30 of the states
30. My favorite heavy metal band is Metallica
31. My favorite rock band is Creed
32. My favorite Christian band is Jars Of Clay
33. My favorite country performer is Alan Jackson
34. I am a stay-at-home dad
35. I love pumpkin pie
36. I want to write a book some day
37. I used to dress like Michael Jackson in high school
38. One of my favorite books is "Fathered By God" by John Eldredge
39. I am a Michigan Wolverines fan
40. I have competed in a triathlon
41. I used to break dance back in my high school days
42. I tried the Atomic Sauce at Quaker Steak & Lube
43. I am a fan of Emeril Lagasse
44. I love serving people
45. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving
46. I was a marksman with firearms when I was in the military
47. I fail at a lot of things
48. I like winter better than summer
49. My favorite fast food restaurant is Taco Bell
50. I collect die cast cars
51. My favorite super heroes are Bat Man & Wolverine
52. I like watching chic flicks with my wife
53. My favorite chic flick is "Fools Rush In"
54. My favorite Christmas song is "Little Drummer Boy"
55. My favorite Christmas movie is "Home Alone"
56. I just recently got my first tattoo
57. I can't stand WEBN
58. My favorite actress is Angelina Jolie
59. My favorite actor is Brad Pit
60. I designed Penn Stations, BW3's & Skylines
61. I hung out at a skating rink when I was a teenager
62. My favorite "big hair" band was Night Ranger
63. I've never broken any bones
64. I go to bed at 9:30 quite often
65. My all time favorite comedy is "Dumb & Dumber"
66. I fart . . . alot
67. I hate it when people cuss
68. I can grow my hair into an Afro
69. I love to draw
70. I miss the guys that I grew up with
71. I have flown co-pilot once
72. My favorite rappers are 2Pac & Dr. Dre
73. I graduated high school (barely) in 1988
74. I have never done drugs
75. I watch SpongeBob Square Pants every day
76. My favorite animal is the Bengal Tiger
77. I am addicted to chocolate
78. I am a control freak
79. I just picked up reading as a hobby last year
80. I"m coocoo for cocoa puffs
81. I believe that we can fly in Heaven
82. I am an exercise nut
83. I can take an engine apart & rebuild it
84. I know nothing about computers
85. I talk to God every day
86. I have nightmares of losing my family
87. I struggle with a lot of things
88. I don't know how to swim
89. I have a lot of tools
90. I prefer the mountains over the ocean
91. Mexican cuisine is my second favorite after Italian
92. I love to hear people's "life stories"
93. I sometimes judge people too much
94. I want to travel the world when I retire
95. I love to cook
96. I am very transparent
97. I get lost easy
98. I am seeking counsel to fix myself
99. I Love Jesus, but He is So worth mentioning twice
100. This is my 100th blog.

THAN--(fade to black)--KSGIVING--(fade to black)--DAY

Well, once again, Thanksgiving has come and gone. This was not our ordinary Thanksgiving though. Today was full of normal stress & chaos, and some not so normal stress & chaos. Here is a time line of our day.

6:30 a.m. I wake to the sound of Ann on the phone (talking to Duke Energy) and I notice the electric is out.

6:35 a.m. Ann is off of the phone and we are told electric won't be on until 10:30 a.m.

7:00 a.m. Turkey should be going in the oven now, but still no electric.

9:35 a.m. Tension is high and Ann & I begin to argue. Still no electric.

10:35 a.m. We are now in "MacGyver" mode. We begin to cook the turkey on our gas cooktop. Still no electric.

11:00 a.m. ELECTRIC IS ON! Something to be thankful for.

1:15 p.m. Turkey is cooking. My family arrives. Electric is still on. Finally feeling normal.

2:15 p.m. WHAT THE? Electric is off again. Turkey is only half cooked. Haven't even started baking the side dishes yet.

2:35 p.m. Ann's family arrives. Ann's mom mentions they saw the electric company replacing a pole. Hope that doesn't take long.

3:00 p.m. ELECTRIC IS ON AGAIN! Please God, let it stay on. We have to eat at 4:00.

4:00 p.m. Electric is still on. Turkey is done! As well as all of the fixins. Time to eat!

4:15 p.m. Electric is still on. Grace has been said. People are eating. A lot to be thankful for.

5:00 p.m. Electric is still on. My family has to head back to Columbus.

6:00 p.m. Electric is still on. Football is done. I feel fat. Ann's family decides to leave.

Current time. I just finished a slice of pie and now I feel extremely fat. Time to rub my wife's feet and fall asleep on the couch. The Electric is still on, and this one is in the bag.


I just wanted to add, that I am very thankful for the folks at Duke Energy who sacrificed their day to respond to the call. I once had a position that required that of me. I was active with the US Air Force when my unit was called to Desert Shield/Storm back in 1991. It's people like that, we should be thankful for. We take so much for granted in this country, and the sad thing is that we think we deserve it. I was sitting on my couch thinking last night about all of the people in the world who don't have heat. Who don't have electric. Who don't even have family to gather with on a holiday, or any other day of the year. That, my friends, is a lot to be "Thankful" for. I fell victim to the stress of no electricity yesterday. I so very quickly forgot about those things that we take for granted. I so very quickly forgot about my trip to Honduras to serve those who have nothing. As I was sitting here with my kids, watching Charlie Brown on T.V., God was reminding me of all of these things. He was convicting me to do it better next time. And there will be a next time. There always is a storm on the horizon. Next time, I will be prepared. When I'm sitting here in the dark, I will be reminded of all that I take for granted and that I should be truly thankful for. Peace!

Church Is Not Church

O.K. We've all heard it said before, "church is not the building, but the group of believers that are in it". But lately, I've been discovering a whole new truth to that. And with that comes the realization of "who" and "where" the church actually is.

For me, it is community, fellow believers, and the body of the congregation. But it's also more than that. Let me ask a question before I explain. Do you realize that most of the stories of Biblical figures met God outside of the church? Moses met God in the form of a burning bush in the middle of a desert. David wrote most of the psalms while camping under the stars. Even Jesus did most of His teaching outside the four walls of a church. John Eldredge touches on this in his books.

I have been making a lot of effort to get outdoors lately, no matter what the weather. I recently blogged about a camping trip that I took last month with my oldest son in Michigan. When we found that clearing that lead us down to the lake, I felt as if God had provided that path to show us something. I know that it was hard for my son to grasp that concept, but for me it was evident. God wanted to be alone with us. We just sat there on the bank while the cool breeze came across the lake to gently kiss our faces. I got it. God was romancing us. It was refreshing and calming. It was church outside of church. So I sat there and enjoyed the moment. A moment of conversation with my first born. A moment of tranquility. A moment alone with our Father.

God created the world with all of it's splendor and glory. He created man (Adam) out in the wilderness. It's as if we were meant to be out there in the wild. That is where we are tested. That is where our ancestors lived. It's where they did life and had community together. It's where messages were taught. It's where we can go to get away from all of the noise. That's where we will find God. I encourage you to take an hour or two, to go hiking or just find a quiet place outdoors. Somewhere you can sit and be all alone. And listen! I guarantee you will hear Him. Being out in the very nature that He created and hearing His Words for me, is a form of church. It is a beautiful and inspiring experience.

Breathing

Last night, as I was falling asleep, I was listening to my breathing. I noticed that I was taking long, deep breaths. And then I started to wonder; what would my last breaths be like? I don't mean to sound morbid. Will they be relaxed breaths? Will it be hard to breathe? Will I be in a panic, gasping for air? Only God knows the answer to these questions.

Job 12:10 In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

About three years ago, I decided to take up bicycling. A couple of friends of mine invited me to do a ten mile loop (on a local street) with them. Only one of us was properly equipped with the right kind of bike because he had been doing this for a while. The other two of us had old mountain bikes. I thought for sure that I could do this because I considered myself to be in pretty good shape. So, we headed out. About two miles into the ride, I was done. I could go no further, and yet, I still had to ride the two miles just to get back. It was a combination of riding a mountain bike with big knobby tires and improper gearing, and my inadequate level of cardio ability that prevented me from going any further. I purchased a new road bike and hit the streets as much as I could. I became addicted to the sport but I noticed that I was still struggling with my breathing. The slightest inclines presented a challenge for me, and I could not catch my breath. I would get extremely light-headed and I felt like I was going to black out. I was literally fighting for air. I made a visit to my family doctor who diagnosed me with EIA (Exercise Induced Asthma). In EIA, the muscle bands around the airways are sensitive to changes in temperature and humidity and react by contracting, which narrows the airway. Fatigue, tightening of the chest, wheezing and shortness of breath are all of the symptoms that I was experiencing. My doctor prescribed me an albuterol inhaler to use when I expose myself to prolonged exercise. And what do you know, it worked! I am not Lance Armstrong by any comparison, but now I can ride my bike for a good thirty or forty miles without having to fight for air.

Job 9:18 He would not let me regain my breath but would overwhelm me with misery.

After the thoughts of how I wound spend my last few breaths, I began to thank God for the air that I breathe. We don't even deserve it, but He gives it to us anyway. It is a gift! When I am given a gift, I cherish it. I try to use that gift to my best ability. So, in honor of receiving this gift, I am trying to do everything that God is asking me to do. Loving Him and worshipping Him above all.

Genesis 2:7 The Lord God formed the man from the dust of the earth and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

The air that I breathe fills my heart with oxygen. Without oxygen, the heart is a useless muscle. My heart is vital to my existence and to my relationship with God. It is my heart that allows me to feel and hear God. I often ask God to break my heart with the things that makes His heart break. And He does. An example of this would be the compassion and love that I have for my brothers that are in my men's group. We meet every Tuesday to worship the Lord, share our struggles, pray for each other and just have community together. When one of us is feeling broken, it breaks my heart. It is then that the Lord empowers us to breathe new life into each other.

Genesis 25:8 Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people.

Great Book!

I just finished reading "Fathered By God" by John Eldredge and I loved it. This book spoke more to me than "Wild At Heart", another one of John's writes.
The title says it all. Maybe our fathers abandoned us when we were young men. Maybe they were there, but never really played with us, or taught us anything. Some of us might have had abusive fathers. No matter what the situation, God is our perfect Father, and He wants us to be the men that He designed us to be.
John takes us through six stages of a masculine journey that shapes us as Godly men over the course of our lifetimes. Starting with Boyhood to Cowboy to Warrior to Lover to King to Sage. The Warrior and Lover stages spoke volumes to me, probably because those are the two stages that I am transitioning in at this current time of my life. I don't want to go into too much detail, because I want this to be a great and revealing read for somebody.
I just want to say that this book revealed a deeper love for my earthly father as well. I have held a lot of anger and hurt from some of things that occurred in my past. I know that he did not intend to make those mistakes, but we all do as fathers. Somewhere in the second chapter of the book, I broke down and wept. I called my dad immediately just to tell him that I love him, and I forgave him for any hurt that he caused me. It was an awesome moment.
If you are a man and a father, I would like to inspire you to read this book. Peace!

You & Me

Man, I love the Dave Matthews Band. This new song is beautiful! It reminds me of how much I love my wife. How I long to be with her. How we can do anything together. It makes me want to travel to the stars with her. And when the kids get older, we could teach them how to fly.

I remember when I first met her. She was my world. She still is. There's nothing in this world that I want to do without her. I want to travel to the end of the world with her, and we get there, we can look back and say "there is nothing we haven't done".

I tried to load the actual video to this song, but it can't be downloaded yet. This is the Saturday Night Live version. If you get a chance, go to youtube and watch the actual video. It's the one with him sitting in a room full of chairs.

And to my bride . . . you and me together, the two of us together, we can do anything.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day is a harvest festival. Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general. It is a holiday celebrated primarily in the United States. While perhaps religious in origin, Thanksgiving is now primarily identified as a secular holiday.

The date and location of the first Thanksgiving celebration is a topic of modest contention. The traditional "first Thanksgiving" is the celebration that occurred at the site of Plymouth Plantation, in 1621. The Plymouth celebration occurred early in the history of what would become one of the original thirteen colonies that became the United States. The celebration became an important part of the American myth by the 1800s. This Thanksgiving, modeled after celebrations that were commonplace in contemporary Europe, is generally regarded as America's first. Elementary school teacher Robyn Gioia has argued that the earliest attested "thanksgiving" celebration in what is now the United States was on September 8, 1565 in what is now Saint Augustine, Florida. Today, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of October in Canada and on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States. Thanksgiving dinner is held on this day, usually as a gathering of family members and friends.

I just wanted to take some time to list of some of the things that I am most thankful for.

1. I am thankful that Jesus died on the Cross for me (us).

2. I am thankful for my wife and kids.

3. I am thankful for my brothers in Christ.

4. I am thankful for my family and friends.

5. I am thankful for my health.

6. I am thankful for the air that I breath.

7. I am thankful for the men and women in uniform, serving our country, both near and far.

8. I am thankful for my freedom.

9. I am thankful that I have an available source of food.

10. I am thankful for all of the stupid stuff that I have, that I really don't deserve to have, and that I should not be proud to own.

This is just a short list of some of the things that I am most thankful for. I am interested to hear what some of you are thankful for. Take some time and share. Have a good Thanksgiving.

Prayer Guide

I was reading a post about how to pray by one of my fellow bloggers and I thought that this would be good information to pass on. His name is Brian Branam and his blog is called "Feel My Faith". I have him listed as one of the blogs that I follow on my sidebar, feel free to click on his site and read some of his recent posts. I find them quite insightful.

Here is his post called "Prayer Guide":

Over the past few weeks I have been sifting through Dr. Gregory R Frizzell's book, Returning to Holiness, A Personal and Churchwide Journey to Revival. Here is an outlined gleaned from pages 78 - 81 on Five Practical Steps to a Powerful Daily Prayer Life. He lists five practical steps, I managed to stretch it into six.

1) Make an absolute commitment to consistently spend significant time alone with God in uninterrupted prayer (Luke 11:1).

2) Approach your prayer time as a relationship with God rather than a required ritual (Luke 10:38-42).

3) Listen first (1 John 5:14-15).

4) Make a commitment to a balanced prayer life by regularly practicing the four different types of prayer (1 Timothy 2:1).

a) Praise, thanksgiving, worship
b) Confession and repentance
c) Petition and supplication
d) Intercession

5) In your daily petitions, focus more on issues of personal character and holiness than on temporal needs (Matthew 5, Romans 8:29, Galatians 5:22).

6) In your daily intercession, focus more on issues of evangelism and missions than on temporal concerns (Matthew 28:18).Develop a prayer list of:

a) Lost people
b) Key leaders and ministry strategies of the church
c) Key spiritual and government leaders in city, state, and nation
d) Mission strategies of our association, state, and convention.
e) Petitions for revival and awakening in our city.

I believe that I heard this same exact teaching as part of a message from a church that I once attended. It laid the foundation for and became a crucial part of my relationship with God. In Matthew 6:5-15, Jesus explains how we should pray. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. I love to wake up early in the morning, before the sun rises, and before anyone in my family rises. I have a great view of the eastern sky through my living room windows. I will sit and read some scripture, and then I close my eyes and begin to pray. The total silence in the morning is key here. God not only desires to hear from us, but He wants to speak to us as well (1 John 5:14-15). Having no distractions around is important. His voice is not usually a loud voice, but a whisper when He speaks to me. Sometimes He paints a picture in my mind. Sometimes He gives me a simple word. Sometimes He just holds me as we sit in total silence. And then I open my eyes and look to the east just in time for Him to show me another beautiful sunrise. It is the most important and best part of every day for me.

If you are not doing so already, I encourage you to take some time and look over this list (Prayer Guide). Then, find a quiet place, and get alone with God. Lift up your prayers and LISTEN. You will be rewarded. Peace!

TRANSFORMERS

I was just sitting here thinking about how much I love the new series of "Transformers" movies. They are jam-packed with action, passion, adventure, a beauty to fight for, and of course all of the automotive toys.
But then I got to thinking about how we, ourselves, are all transformers and there is more to us than meets the eyes. What I mean is, we all have the ability to transform ourselves from something normal into something totally awesome. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being normal. But I would argue, that God has something "great" planned for all of us, and if we allow Him to do His work in our lives; then we all have the ability to become something great.
I have been on this journey for the past several months to discover the man that God has intended me to be. It has been a rough, yet rewarding journey. This journey has had it's fill of action, adventure, trials & tribulations. I have discovered so much about myself and my true potential.
In the sequel "Revenge Of The Fallen", Optimus Prime tells Sam Witwicky that they cannot defeat the Decepticons without him. At first, Sam denies his calling to be something great. He wants a normal life. He just wants to go to college and find his place in the world through a "normal" course of events. He soon realizes that he is not normal. His calling becomes so evident that he has no choice but to aid Optimus in the victory over the Decepticons. He has to dig down deep to find that warrior within himself. He has to transform himself into something extraordinary to get the job done. Optimus' own survival and the earth's existence depends on this.
So how does this fictional story compare to the true stories of our life? Who's existence depends on us? As a Christian, I would have to say that everyone I come in contact with benefits from my transformation. My wife, my children, co-workers, the guy at the gym. Anyone who struggles, anyone with questions, anyone with doubt. Those who believe, my fellow followers, my friends and pastor at church. Anyone and everyone can benefit from my transformation in Christ.
God has called me to rise to the challenge. He has invited me to go on this journey. It will challenge me. It will be an adventure filled with accomplishments and failures (we learn from our mistakes). It will bring out the inner warrior in me. It will reveal the "Man" that God intended me to be.
Will you accept the calling? Will you allow yourself to be transformed? Will you rely and trust God's plan for you? If you do, I guarantee that you will not regret it.



Now I just need to figure out how to get my car to turn into an awesome robot. Peace!

Toby

This is Toby. He was our cat for 12 years, until about a half hour ago. You see, I just had him put to sleep, for no other reason than he was peeing all over the house.
Right now, I feel like crap. I feel like I made a HUGE mistake. He didn't deserve that. Everyone told me that euthanizing him would be the most humane thing to do. That was the least humane thing that I have ever done. I took him to our local SPCA and that place felt like animal hell to me. There were dogs barking, cats meowing, people cussing, just complete chaos. I hated that place.
I found Toby when he was just a kitten. He was one of a litter of four that was living in our condo garage. I was able to capture one of his brothers and they both became our pets. We named him Toby because he was fascinated with feet. The only way that he would let us touch him, is if we allowed him to rub against our toes. He could do this and purr for hours.
One day, my wife and I decided to get the boys some collars. We put them on and immediately Toby fell to the floor. It was hilarious because he would fall to the side in a completely locked up standing position. He would lay on the floor in that position as if he was paralyzed. I would take the collar off, and he would spring to life as if nothing ever happened.
Toby used to love chasing beams of light up walls. I could shine a flash light and he would follow the reflecting spot every where. He could jump higher than the other cats which also was an advantage to him for chasing things.
Toby sat on my lap and purred the whole way to the SPCA. When I got there, I put him in a cage and took him in. They charged me $45 and gave him a shot. And that was it. I really loved Toby and regret what I just did. From now on, our pets will die of natural causes, no matter what kind of nuisances they are.
I hope that God will forgive me of the choice that I made today. My advice to anyone considering having a pet is that, they are animals. In spite of all of their flaws, it is easy to fall in love with them and it hurts when they are gone.

Rest in peace Toby. I'm sorry!

Partners

Part of my daily routine for school mornings is to pick out clothes for my kids to wear. This is a challenge for me when it comes to my daughter. She doesn't wear girly clothes (skirts, dresses or leggings), so it's usually a pair of jeans and some sort of a t-shirt. I lay the clothes out on the floor next to her bed, and then I go to wake Dominick up.

On my way back downstairs, I always peek into Lanie's room to make sure that she is up and is getting dressed. On this particular morning, she didn't like the shirt that I had chosen, so she asked me to help her pick out a new one. Once we accomplished that, I opened her sock drawer, and we began to search through the salad of socks for a matching pair. I grabbed one sock and she says to me, "No dad, that one doesn't have a partner". I said, "you're right", and so we picked out a pair that had it's partner.

Every morning now, I always tell her to remember to put on her partners. I think it's one of those things that a father and daughter will cherish together for a long time.

Wanting & Giving

So, the holidays are just around the corner, again, and the kids already have their two and half page Christmas lists composed. I'm still amazed at how much stuff that they think they need. Of course, I wasn't much different when I was a kid. I remember sitting down with that huge Service Merchandise catalog on my lap, and gazing at the toy pages for hours. These days, the kids are bombarded with toy commercials on all of the cartoon channels, in addition to all of the separate toy ads we receive in the mail. I try to put myself in their shoes and imagine what it would feel like to be a kid these days. I guess it's all relative, really. A kid is a kid and they will always want toys, no matter how much the sensory overload.
A good friend of mine told me how they were doing Christmas a few years ago, and last year, my wife and I decided to give it a try. Jesus received gifts from the three wise men (kings). If that was good enough for Jesus, then it is definitely good enough for our kids. Three (individual) gifts, it really doesn't sound like much. But with the cost of toys these days and multiply that to our three kids, it is plenty. We throw in some family gifts like games or something the whole family can do as well, but they still only get three items from their hundred item lists.
Then I began thinking about my wants and needs. I am ashamed at all that I have. I have gotten into a bad habit of buying what ever I want, when I want it. This makes things hard for people to give me gifts, as if I deserve them anyway. The thing that I am most ashamed of is my determining what I need. Ultimately, God a plan for this. But being the wonderful God that He is, He allows me to make the choices (and purchases) that I make, all the while knowing that I will come crying to Him. He knows that I need Him more than anything on this earth. Somehow, I have gained this sense of thinking that I know what is best for me. I have forgotten all of times that He has really provided for me when things were tight, and how He rewarded me when I really counted on Him. He wants to give us gifts. Things that we could not have even imagined receiving. True surprises. Have you ever had that feeling when you thought of something to give to that one person that you truly love, and it was something that totally took them by surprise? That's what God wants for us. He wants to please us and surprise us. He wants to bless us and provide for us. And I can only receive this if I count on Him. I want to . . . no, I have to get out of the habit of self-blessing. I want gifts from my Father, but most of all, I just want to have a relationship with Him.
Check out this video from Rob Bell. Peace!

Oh My God

Liars and fools, sons and failures
Thieves will always say...

Lost and found, ailing wanderers
Healers always say...

Whores and angels, men with problems
Leavers always say...

Broken-hearted, separated
Orphans always say...

War creators, racial haters
Preachers always say...

Distant fathers, fallen warriors
Givers always say...

Pilgrim saints, lonely widows
Users always say...

Fearful mothers, watchful doubters
Saviors always say...

Oh My God




Everybody cries out to God! We all need Him, one way or another!

Being Humble

A simple formula for Humility.

1. God created the universe and everything in it, including us.
2. God shows that He is much more powerful than we are by what He has done and what He is doing in the world.
3. God gives each of us abilities that we cannot supply to ourselves or explain our worthiness of.

If we can recognize these three things, then we will be humbled.

Rethinking Halloween

So, what if Halloween wasn't about going door to door, yelling "Trick or Treat"? What if it wasn't about going to some broken old house and having the bejeebers scared out of you?
Halloween is linked to the Celtic festival known as Samhain which is derived from the Old Irish meaning "summers end". The festival of Samhain celebrates the ending of the "lighter half" of the year and the beginning of the "darker half" of the year. During this celebration, the ancient Celts believed that the border between this world and the Otherworld became thin enough to allow spirits to pass through it (a little wacky if you ask me). Ancestor's spirits were invited to be with the living, but evil spirits were warded off by wearing costumes and masks.
I really don't have a problem with Trick-or-Treating, but how much does it take to go over board? I think that Halloween has become more commercialized than Christmas, and technically, it's not even an American holiday. I see more houses decorated with lights and scary decor on Halloween than on Christmas in the area we live in. Again, how much is too much?
My wife and I decided to make a stand last year, and chose not to celebrate Halloween the way we did growing up. We have started a new tradition. Last year, our church held it's first annual "The Blast" celebration, which included games, a maze, plenty of free candy, and a movie. This year's was much of the same and attracted hundreds of kids. Our kids questioned not being able to go trick-or-treating, but forgot all about it once the fun began at "The Blast".

New Look

I am redesigning my blog page again. New template, photos, etc.... Looking for some cool Apps or widgets if anybody knows of any. Also, I would appreciate any suggestions on font types and color as well (keep in mind, Blogger.com only offers 6 fonts - wish there was a way to get more).

Walkabout

Remember in the movie "Crocodile Dundee", when Mick Dundee would wander out in the Aussie wilderness just to get away for a while. I don't know if he planned the trip at all, he just went. He was at home out there, he was one with the land. When he went, he called it a walkabout.
Last weekend I went on a walkabout. I drove up to Michigan just to go. I hadn't planned much about the trip. I knew that I wanted to be on a lake somewhere and I wanted to hike. I looked on the map and decided that Saginaw Bay was my destination. I also thought I would be going alone on this trip until I realized my oldest son would be coming with me. I was praying a couple of weeks ago and I heard God say "Take Dominick". I immediately answered, "But God, this was supposed to be my time to get alone with You". Then I heard Him say again, "Take Dominick". So, I asked Dominick if he would like to join me and he eagerly accepted the invitation. I quickly warmed up to the idea of taking him because we haven't had many opportunities to spend some quality time together. The boy is almost eleven years old and has yet to have been camping, so I knew this was a must.
We arrived at the bay around five o'clock on Friday. After surveying the area, I discovered that it wasn't what I had in mind. We were in a somewhat populated area with a small RV/camper park located in the center of it. I wanted to be more out in the wild. I wanted trees right on the lake. I realized that I really did want a view of a Great Lake, I wanted something smaller, more intimate. So we mapped out an area further south and decided that we would drive there in the morning.
The next morning we headed south and ended up in a little town called Hell Michigan (we've been to hell and back). I thought this was ironic since this was originally supposed to be a trip for me to get alone with God in the wild. I thought, maybe He has something to show me in Hell. So we went. We found a park called Half Moon Lake and decided that this was our destination for the day. What we found was amazing!

We discovered close to fifty miles of hiking/biking trails that had views of three different lakes.

This is Half Moon Lake. We came across it about two miles into our hike and we had it all to ourselves.

I am glad Dominick was wearing his bright yellow hat. There's hunters in them's there's hills.

We crossed engineered bridges . . .

And we crossed some not so engineered bridges.

There was no shortage of obstacles to cross over.

When we returned to the truck, I taught Dominick how to carve a stick he found with a knife that I gave him. He is making his hunting spear. What a future warrior this guy is going to be.

This was by far, one of the best weekends I've spent with my oldest son. I learned so much about him. I got to be a dad to him. I connected with God and He affirmed me in my role as a father. I will remember this walkabout forever . . . and I look forward to future trips.

Preaching

Here is another short story that I read and thought that I would share. This one caught me in a place of strong conviction. The author's name is Orel Hershiser.

Show and Tell

I'm not one to wear my faith on my sleeve. Christians can do a disservice to unbelievers by being obnoxious or judgmental. I'm a chapel leader and have been since my second year in the minors. People know where I'm coming from without my having to harp on it all the time. I know that the message of Christ offends because it calls sin sin and says that we are all sinners. There's no way to soften the truth. It's jarring and can alienate people until they begin to realize that it's true. My pushing it down everyone's throat will not make it any easier for them to investigate what it's all about.
I just tell people about God naturally, when opportunities arise or when I'm asked. It's amazing how many people notice when you tend to be straight. If you're not a carouser, not a womanizer, not foul-mouthed, not a gossip, it gets around! . . .
We're far from perfect. We fail. There are people who may think we are insincere or who think we're judgmental. I can't defend myself against people who say I'm phony. Only my family, my true friends and I know who I really am inside. I'll have to answer for that someday. I can only do and be what I think God wants me to do and be. I never want to embarrass Him or bring Him shame. (Author: Orel Hershiser)


Well, lately I have been one to wear my faith on my sleeve. I have been "announcing" my Christianity. I have been obnoxious and incredibly judgmental. Thank God for my true friends. Thank God for their courage to have that Matthew 18 conversation with me. They love me and hold me accountable.
Everything in this short story hit me so hard that I found it hard to breathe. It is who I was when I started this walk with Him and where I long to be again. I used to be noticeably "straight" and people used to question me about it all the time. But lately, I have been standing on my soap box preaching, and as one friend called it, pushing Jesus down people's throats. I don't want to do that. I just got so caught up in the moment of building my own kingdom, that I lost sight of who I was and what I stand for. I have missed the mark completely and now it's time to re-focus.
I am thankful for my friend's (Tim & Joanne Urmston) and my wife for calling me out on this. I am sorry to those that I have offended lately. I regret being judgmental. I don't really like being obnoxious. And I NEVER want to embarrass God or bring Him shame!

Friend, Not Foe

I was reading my Bible (men's study version) this morning and I came across this short story. I found it to be very interesting and would like to share it with you. It was written by W. Phillip Keller.

Friend, Not Foe

So many people are of the opinion that because God is an infinite being He is beyond our human comprehension. They have the notion He is someone distant, far removed from us, who may be appealed to only in great extremity across spans of space.
The truth is just the opposite. He is our Father, our Friend, and can be our Companion on the path of life. Such an association becomes the most cherished relationship in the world. But it can only become such if we begin to understand God's character and the wondrous ways in which He deals with us . . .
Most human beings have despised and rejected God simply because they never grasped who He was and what He was like. They saw Him as a foe, not a friend.
This explains why Christ called out in profound pathos - while the iron spikes tore through His hands and His feet - "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" [Luke 23:34]. It was the intense heart-cry of our compassionate, caring God giving us Himself, sharing with us His own life, in a superb act of selfless self-sacrifice.
This caliber of divine love eludes us mortals. We are, for the most part, so selfish, so self-centered, so self-preoccupied, we recoil from those spike-torn hands extended to us in mercy, compassion and deep longing. We simply refuse to believe anyone truly can care for us with such pure motives.
Yes, across the terrible, tortured, tragic centuries of our human history mankind has rejected God. They have assumed always that like themselves He was at heart a tyrant, a stern and unjust judge, a formidable potentate to be feared. All because they seldom understood Him. They knew nothing of Him in intimate, firsthand communion. - (Author: W. Phillip Keller)

I was in the book of Galatians when I came across this story. The timing of this story and how it applies to my life amazes me. Even though I've been pursuing the Lord for the past ten years now, I have not really considered Him my friend until the past year or so. I have spent so much time trying to please Him and gain His favor that I have lost sight of my relationship with Him. He is my Father, and I am His son. He loves me just the way I am and just longs for me to be with Him. He calls me Friend.

SOZO

Sozo is a church-based ministry framework of helping to heal individuals (both inside and outside the church) of the effects of wounding and sin, and of delivering people from the snares and presence of the demonic through finding past and present lies and points of access, removing them, and establishing healing, blessing and obedience in their place; and of restoring individuals to relationship with God and a more fruitful and fulfilling walk.

Prayer and deliverance ministry have been around since Jesus demonstrated His power on earth as he healed (sozoed) many that came to Him. The term "Sozo" is a Greek word from the New Testament that means to save, make whole, heal, to be whole, rescue from danger, and deliver (basically, to save in every imaginable way!).

Last week, I received my first Sozo. I have to admit that I did not know what Sozo meant going into this. My wife did it and she shared how awesome her experience was, so I figured that I would give it a shot. I have been in a great place lately in my relationship with God, but I have still have my common struggles. I still have have self doubt. And I still lose my faith when I don't get my way. So, I figured this Sozo thing (remember, I still didn't know what Sozo meant) would be a good place to get some answers.

The Sozo team that was praying for me was consisted of three people, in which I knew two of them. We sat down in a small room at the church and one of the leaders asked me why I was there. I shared a short story of how my life has been the past several months since I returned from my mission trip to Honduras. I said that I just want to "officially" hear from God, that I am doing what He wants me to be doing. I wanted to know if I was a good husband, father and son in His eyes. I wanted to gain some insight as to where he wants me to be in the coming years (spiritually and physically).

For next couple of hours, I spent my time answering questions that were asked by my leaders, but answered to God. I asked for forgiveness and I forgave. I was given visions of my childhood, which in itself is a miracle just due to the fact that I don't remember much of my younger years. I saw Jesus in every vision. I saw that He has been with me every step of the way in my life. I also dealt with those painful struggles that I can't seem to get past. I gave them to God and was given a new respect for the word "freedom" in my life. I was also healed. PHYSICALLY HEALED, THANK YOU JESUS! I have had a bad knee for years. One of the leaders placed their hand on my knee just to pray out demons and I felt an incredible warmth in my knee. After the Sozo, I noticed that my pain was gone. I was relieved, for that knee had really been hurting for the past couple of days. Still today, the pain is gone.

I was confirmed and affirmed in the roles of my life. As a dad, as a husband, and as a son. And not just a son to my earthly parents, but as a son to my True Father. I heard Him say that He is still doing work in my life. He is still preparing for something great in my future. To this, I feel unworthy. But He loves me anyway, and He has to get all of this crap out of my life and taken care of before I can move on.

So now I'm thinking, it is no coincidence that I ended up at Sozo. I thought I was doing something cool that my wife got to be part of. I had no idea of what it truly meant. Obviously, He did. He knew that I had to go through it to be healed and freed from sin and it's effects. I don't know that this was a one evening experience. I think that it took many years to get as messed up as I am, and think it will take a little while in return to get to that point. That point of being able to walk with Him to that next season of my life. That point of a more fruitful and fulfilling walk with Him.

Donuts With Dad

My son Dominick and I had donuts together at his school this morning.

It was "Donuts With Dads" day and I felt that this would be an important bonding moment for the two of us. We arrived right at seven (in the a.m.) and when we got there, the cafeteria was packed. Nothing but dads and students. Every table was filled and there was a line about a mile long to receive our single donut and a cup of juice. We made it through the line and found an open seat, so we grabbed it. I greeted one of the dads as I sat down and then began to try to connect with my boy.

As I was sitting there, I noticed a lot of kids grouping up and a lot of dads just sitting there, staring at their kids without a word to say. I even heard a couple of dads making fun of their kids at an attempt to make themselves look "manly" in front of their own piers. I began to talk to Dominick even more, but there was a huge sadness growing in my heart. I realized that a lot of those kids were actually me and my dad. I realized that my dad probably didn't intend to belittle me as much as he did, but it's hard not to when you're in the company of other confused and lost men. I try very hard to affirm my kids and build them up, but just like my dad did so many years ago, I get caught up in the moment and I chop them down. I usually catch myself doing this and I have to ask for forgiveness immediately. I love my kids and I love my dad, but one of my goals in life is to be the best father that I can be. My dad was a good dad, but no one is perfect, not even me. So, we sat, and talked, and ate our donut, and I loved every minute of it.

Of course, I did notice that Dominick seemed uncomfortable and quiet. That's when I remembered how awkward it feels hanging out with your dad can feel sometimes. Especially if it was with my dad . . . that guy was also a total goofball back then. I think Dominick might have been nervous that I was going to embarrass him or something. I guess I would have felt that way too. Maybe I am just like my dad . . . a total goofball. Oh well, us men turn into our fathers sooner or later. Dominick has so much to look forward to. My hope and prayer for him is that he can do a better job than me at being a dad someday.

Obtaining Wisdom

King Solomon had greater wisdom and knowledge than any one on this earth to this very date. His account from the book of Ecclesiastes (1:12-18) states:

Wisdom Is Meaningless

I, the Teacher, was a king over Israel in Jerusalem. I devoted myself to study and to explore by wisdom all that is done under heaven. What a heavy burden God has laid on men! I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted.
I thought to myself, "Look, I have grown and increased in wisdom more than anyone who has ruled over Jerusalem before me; I have experienced much of wisdom and knowledge." Then I applied myself to the understanding of wisdom, and also of madness and folly, but I learned that this, too, is a chasing after the wind.
For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.

Now, I don't think that God is condemning wisdom; in fact, the entire book of Proverbs (which precedes Ecclesiastes) teaches us how to obtain it. No, I think He is questioning our pursuit of it over Him, and whether or not we are using it to glorify Him. King Solomon spent most of his life chasing after material things and obtaining wisdom. Why would a king who had everything be so unsatisfied? Why did God grant him more wisdom and knowledge than anyone in all of Jerusalem? My guess is so that we would have the book of Ecclesiastes to teach us a lesson in wisdom.
I high lighted a few words that I believe are key in this lesson. First of all, King Solomon had it all. More than anyone on earth. He was the Donald Trump of his era. And yet, with all of his great possessions, life was meaningless to him. He described it as a burden and blamed God for putting him in that position. The king searches is own heart and in doing so, he finds God. God reveals that everything in life is meaningless without Him, and that life regulated by Him and His word are wonderful indeed. But why would great knowledge cause so much sorrow and grief? Well, I tried to put myself in King Solomon's shoes (or sandals), and what I came up with was this. I know everything. I know all that is good. All that is bad. I know what sins man does, and why he chooses to do so. I know that God is there and that so many choose to deny Him. Even I deny Him at times. I know why there is life and why there is death. Everything! I know everything under the sun.
Wow....that would be a burden. How much hurt that must of caused Solomon, to know so much, but there was nothing he could do as a man to correct the wrong. Even as a king, he could do absolutely nothing to correct the hearts of men. That would cause a lot of sorrow and grief. And then I started thinking about my own life and how I walk as a Christian or a follower of Jesus. As I applied the concept of my knowledge and what God wants from me, I realized that I'm not much different than Solomon (besides the fact that I am not, nor do I want to be, the smartest man on earth). I am a white American male which is sadly still a majority in this country. I have a big house, two cars, six televisions, a beautiful wife and three awesome kids. I've got it all by my standards. At the same time, I call myself a Christian. I think that I have a pretty good relationship with Christ. I love Him and I pursue Him everyday. But, as I roam the streets of my hometown (Cincinnati, Ohio), I see so much chaos. Homeless people, single mothers, racism, hatred, people choosing alternate lifestyles that defy God, pornography, alcoholism, drugs, greed, law breakers and even my own sins. Sometimes it's too much. Sometimes I let my guard down. Sometimes I let it get to me and with all of my knowledge, there is nothing that I can do to change the hearts of men. All I can do is have faith in my Jesus and know that He is in control. Maybe that's enough. Maybe one person will see that light in me and they will make a choice to make some changes in their life. Maybe that one person will seek God and find Him. Maybe that brings great joy to God to have one more lost child return to Him.

My prayer is this: "Father, thank You for all of the wisdom that You have given me. Thank You for loving me right where I am at. I know that I am going to let You down, but You never give up on me. Thank You for allowing me to plant seeds in the hearts of men. Thank You for nurturing those seeds and raising up more wise princes and princesses. I pray for the lost. I pray that they seek You Father, and that they find You O' Lord. I lift up this city to You and ask that You send Your Holy Spirit to be here with us. Guide those who ask for it. Protect those that don't know how to. I love You God. Thank You for loving me first. In Your Beautiful Name Christ, Amen".

Bachelor Party With Atomic Food

We took our good friend, Steve "I'm undignified" Nixon, to Quaker Steak & Lube for his bachelor party celebration. In my opinion, this is how a bachelor should celebrate his last days of being single; good friends, good food, good beer, good conversation and NO STRIPPERS!

This was only my second visit to this restaurant. My first was with my family and we really liked it. The atmosphere is man heaven. The theme is a rehabbed garage with cars and motorcycles everywhere and there is a ton of race memorabilia.

And then there is the menu. This is not a health food establishment. Nothing but good old fashioned American cuisine. Quaker Steak & Lube is known for their hot wings. The options are endless and the heat can't be beat. Since this was my second visit, I decided to go a little higher on the heat chart. I ordered the Arizona Ranch wings which are listed at 2,050 SHU (Scoville Heat Unit). So, what is SHU? It is the number of units of water that it takes to make a unit of chile pepper lose all traces of heat (0-999 is mild, 1,000-2,999 is medium, 3,000-29,999 is hot, and anything above 30,000 is insane).

Of course, this was a table of men. Our manhood needed to be tested. Our threshold for pain had to be challenged. So, I ordered a cup of the ATOMIC sauce which is listed at 150,000 SHU. Normally, you have to sign a release form when ordering the ATOMIC wings but our waitress was able to supply us with a cup of the liquid death without doing so. She placed the sauce in front of me and even the aroma of it could burn the nostril hairs. I lifted the cup and offered one hundred bucks to anyone who would chug it. They ignored me and all took a turn dunking the tip of a french fry into the spicy concoction. I watched them as they the chewed on the scorched potato, and payed close attention to their facial reactions. Like the man (dork) that I am, I took a drumstick and smothered it with the sauce. I chewed the meat off as quick as I could trying to get everything past my taste-buds. The sauce has a slow heat which is very deceiving. At first, I looked at the guys with the "I'm the man" look, and then it began to hit me. The back of my tongue felt like it had an actual flame on it and that continued down through my throat. My eyes began to flush and my sinuses were relieved of all mucus. And then the sweating began. It doesn't take much for me to break a sweat and this sauce made it look as if there was a storm cloud above my head. I was soaked down to the neckline of my shirt. The pain lasted for about thirty minutes, but I knew that wouldn't be the end of it. I still had to get this crap out of my system.

ATOMIC HOT WINGS WITH A SIDE OF JALAPENOS TO COOL THE PALATE.