Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Devotion

I posted a blog yesterday about a dream and vision of mine. I received this devotion this morning from my good friend and counselor, Jody Burgin, and just wanted to share it's message with you.

Tim Fatjo is into garbage. Oh, he hasn't always been. He used to be a quiet, efficient accounting executive playing it straight, dodging all risks, and settling down into a life of the predictable. But one day his mental wheels began to turn in response to a growing problem in his community.

The city had refused to pick up their garbage at the back door of their homes. A private company was having serious problems. So the garbage was starting to stack up. As harsh words were exchanged at the Willowbrook Civic Club in Houston, Tom had a crazy idea that kept rolling around in his head. That dream spawned a series of incredible thoughts that resulted in the purchase of a garbage truck.

The next ten years became an adventure for Tom you'd have trouble believing. That dream turned into the largest solid-waste disposal company in the world, Browing-Ferris Industries, Inc. The company has annual sales in excess of $500 million. Tom has also been instrumental in building over ten other large companies. And to think, it all started with an unthinkable, scary, absolutely crazy idea that refused to let him sleep.

That's the way it is with dreams. Especially when God is in them. They appear crazy. Placed alongside the logic, cost, and timing, dreams often don't make sense. They won't fly when you test them against the gravity of reality. And the strangest part of all: the more they are told "can't," the more they pulsate "can" and "will" and "must."

What's behind great accomplishments? Inevitably, great people. But what is in those "great people" that makes them different? It's certainly not their age or sex or color or heritage or environment. They are people who think differently. People whose ideas are woven into a meaningful pattern on the loom of dreams, threaded with colorful stands of imagination, creativity, even a touch of fantasy. They are among that band of young men the Scripture mentions "who will dream dreams and see visions."
Stay alert today to dreams God may plant into your thinking. As you trust God and lean on his understanding, be ready for anything.

Lately, the timing of his devotions have been indescribable. It's almost as if Jody (or Someone more Divine) knows exactly what I'm thinking about, and is responding to my thoughts. This one blows me away!

Just wanted to share, and again, "Keep dreaming".

Peace!




Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Me . . . A Pastor?

Have you ever felt like you were being called to do something or be something that you would never have imagined? Have you ever had a dream or a vision of doing something that really makes you uncomfortable? I have. In this most recent, re-occurring dream, I am standing in front of a large group of people and I am either giving a speech or teaching a lesson . As if I was some sort of a teacher or a Pastor. That terrifies me!

In one definition, the word Pastor means to be a Christian Minister or Priest having spiritual charge over a congregation or other group. In another, it simply means to be a shepherd. Do I see myself as being a Pastor? Not in a million years, nor would I want the responsibility of having 'spiritual charge' over a congregation or over anybody for that matter. But what about being a shepherd? Doesn't it essentially mean the same thing? A shepherd is defined as a person who cares for and guides a group of people, or a more familiar definition is, one who herds, guards, and tends sheep. The last time that I checked, I am quite sure that I don't guard or tend to sheep. But, I do have a small group of people that I care for and I find myself guiding them from time to time. That small group of people is a handful of men from my church who come together every Tuesday evening to bond and have community in the name of Jesus. One of my brothers in that group constantly kids me and calls me Pastor Nick.

One of things that I am constantly encouraging the men in that group, is to serve. In the book of Matthew 20:28, Jesus said, "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve". What if being a Pastor or shepherd meant nothing else other than to be a servant? Jesus was a Shepherd of men, but He was also a servant. He was constantly teaching people to put others before themselves.

In one of my most recent visions, I had this idea of inviting neighbors into our home just to connect with and serve them. Eventually, we would begin to share things on a deeper level and then start to pray for one another. That small group would turn into a large group, then a whole street, then an entire neighborhood, and so on and so on . . . This group of people, this community, would be come a healthy living church. A church of people constantly serving each other and those around them. A group that is constantly inviting those who are lost. A community of believers who care for and tend to and guard each other. Wouldn't that group, by definition, be considered a shepherd? Does the weight of a role and it's responsibilities have to fall on one person? Aren't we all the Body of Christ?

As I mentioned earlier, I have no desire in being the leader of a church. I love challenging and stretching the guys in my group, and I appreciate it when they do the same for me. I know that I have leadership qualities and I am most willing to use them when called to, but by no means do I think that I have the gift a teaching. And what about the dream? Who is this large group that I am standing before and what am I saying to them? I guess I will have to be patient and remain humble until God decides to ( IF He decides to) reveal it to me.

Until next time, Happy Dreams and,

Peace!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Slobs

I was thinking about the "neat and tidy" image that I have created for myself. Growing up, I had the same requests from my parents as most kids: "Nick, is your bed made? Is your room clean"? I don't remember really being a "messy" person. In fact, I think I rather enjoyed cleaning. In high school, I even took a job with a local cleaning company to clean office buildings after hours, and I helped my neighbor to wash and detail cars on the weekends. Cleaning up was fun to me.

This ritual continued in my life through the years. I can safely say that it became an obsession. I remember hanging out with some of Air Force buddies in my dorm room and we were rocking out to some music when one of my friends went over to crank the decibels up even more and I told him to use his knuckles because I didn't want fingerprints left on my stereo controls. How sick is that? If we partied it up one evening, I would still wake up at the crack of dawn to clean up the mess that we had created. The sound of a vacuum at 7 o'clock in the morning, on a Saturday no less, really ticked my room mate off since he was hung over and just wanted to sleep in.

The obsession of being neat and tidy and in control has been a part of my entire adult life. It has become ingrained in me. Somehow, I think that if I can show how perfectly clean I am on the outside, then people will think that I have my life in order. They won't see the slob that I really am on the inside. They won't see the "messed up" stuff about me. My cleanliness has become a security blanket, and that same blanket covers up all of junk.

Recently, I have had my blanket torn away from me, leaving me exposed and naked, and busted in my messiness. My struggles with pornography - exposed. My struggles with pride - exposed. My struggles with control - exposed. Even my identity as who I am as a man - exposed. Things that I have been hiding for all of these years, no longer hidden under a blanket. All out there for everyone to see, and leaving me for the slob that I really am.

My good friend and mentor, Greg Hunter, once told me: "Nick, we're all slobs, you just don't know it yet". There is nothing better than having an older, wiser friend in your life to walk with you and share their experiences. I never really knew what Greg meant about that statement until God called me out on this. At the time, I really thought that he meant that I should stop vacuuming my living room so much.

I like the saying that we have at our church. "Come as you are, all are welcome". This means that we are all the same here. We are all messed up. If someone new comes to our church and thinks, "Finally, a perfect church. This is the place for me". They are in for a big surprise because it's not perfect. In fact, that same person messed it up a little bit more by thinking that when they got there.

The thing that I like most about our church is the grace given to those who fall short, which would be me. I am constantly saying or doing stupid things that hurt people in my church family. But there is grace, and for that I am most thankful. This is a learning experience for all of us, from now until the day Jesus returns. My struggle is extending that same grace when someone does not meet "my expectations", and my hope and my goal is to get better at extending it.

I can't wait to sell this house that we live in. I'm tired of living in it's perfectness, and even the neighborhood that it dwells in. I have failed in this arena. I think that God wanted us to be here to be an example to our neighbors, instead of standing out, I conformed. I tried to hide in it. I tried to pull my blanket back over my head. I fell into those false feelings of trying to hide all of my crap in the beauty and gaudiness of my perfect house. At first, I really enjoyed inviting people in to our home so they can see how everything was in order. I enjoyed cleaning over 3,000 square feet to impress them. It was all an effortless lie! Now my quest is to live as messy as I can. I want to let the kids build forts or drink fruit punch in the living room. I want to forget to make my bed every now and then. I want to be free of this control. I can't wait to see how messy I (we) can be in our next house and more importantly, in life.

Are you messy? Are you a slob? Or do you hide in your "cleanliness"?

Peace!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Short Story

I just wanted to share a story of one event that took place last week. In my most recent blog "Disgust", I talked about how much I really enjoyed serving people and how I have developed fears that have blocked me from doing this. Not long after I wrote that post, God provided a chance for me to provide an act of kindness for someone.
I was taking Eleana and Anthony to Target to purchase a couple of small things that we needed for the day. As I was sitting at the light waiting to cross the intersection into the shopping center, I saw a man, wearing long drab green pants with a long sleeve shirt to match, walk up and sit down on the shaded side of the Target Sign. He took off his back-pack and pulled out a piece of cardboard with something written on it. I noticed the people in the cars on the opposite side of the intersection of me just watching him. I heard God say, "Well Nick, here is your chance, what will you do"? This was my chance to serve, and I didn't want to blow it again.
As we walked through Target looking for the things that we were intending to purchase, I was trying to think of a way to provide for this man. I thought of how hot it was going to be that day and what would be important to me. I took the kids into the food section and we picked up a huge bottle of Ice Mountain Water and a bag of pretzels. I was now on a mission and was determined to do this.
We payed for our items and headed for our car. I felt my feet getting cold and I began to wonder what I was going to say. There are usually a lot of cars at that light as well, filled with people impatiently waiting to exit the shopping center. As we began to approach the exit, I prayed that we would get a spot right next to the man and for some prolonged red light time.
Well, God came through. I was the only car to pull up at the light and I was right next to him. I rolled down my window and I said, "Excuse me sir. I just wanted to give you a small gift. It's just some water and some pretzels, and I thought it would help get you through the day". He said thanks and that he was really thirsty. That's when I noticed his cap. It was an issued U.S. Marine Corps field hat. I asked him if he was a veteran and he said yes. I asked which war, and he said Desert Storm. Immediately, I felt a lump form in my throat. I told him that I was a veteran of that war myself. I thanked him for his service and said "God Bless You", and then I drove off.
As I was driving away, I thought about two extremes. Here I am in Hummer H2, filled with many blessings in my life and here is a guy who has nothing. We both served in the same war. How was it fair that he has nothing now and I have so much? How did I get so lucky? Instead of feeling good about serving, I felt ashamed (disgusted) of my luck in life.
I think in God's big plan for my life, He knew that I would serve along side of my brothers in a war, and that someday much later, I would have to serve and pray for those same brothers. In the military, it is our creed to leave no man behind. Whether he is injured or killed, he is coming home with us. This brother is a fallen hero. It is my job to help him get home. It is my responsibility to pray for him. It is my duty and my honor to serve him!

Here is a post that I placed on facebook last week:
What if we stopped putting limits on what God can do, and started serving every chance we get to? The poor man on the corner, the waitress at the restaurant, the mom with the three screaming kids in the car at the gas station, the neighbor who complains all of the time, the boss who doesn't seem to care and even the rich man on the golf course - all God's children and all waiting to be shown an ARK: Act of Random Kindness.

Matthew 20:24-28
When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave - just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."

What chances are you given to serve?
Peace!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Disgust

I have been reading "The Outward Focused Life" by Dave Workman for a second time now. The first time I read it, I pretty much just hurried through it and allowed most of the lessons and words bounce off of me. The words are penetrating now. The lessons in being outward focused and of serving have left me feeling convicted and disgusted with myself.
I have been on a journey of rediscovering who I am and why God designed me for a year now. It has been a year of transformation and painful realization. I used to be "outward focused". I used to love going to Saturday morning outreaches that The Vineyard would host. But somehow I got caught up in the rat race of self indulgence and forgot about serving others.
In one of his analogies, Dave Workman writes, "The Bible is very clear on this - and frankly, I think most of us are a little uncomfortable with it - that we exist for God's pleasure, God's purposes, not ours. That's why He made us. That's pretty humbling when you think about it". The more that I try to enjoy life on my terms, the less pleasure that I have had with my own existence. I'm not saying that God doesn't want us to enjoy life. I'm merely stating that He wants to be a part of it.
I sit in a $500,000 plus home, surrounded by high-end gadgets and comforted by luxuries and technology that I never would have fathomed as a young man. I am disgusted by all of it for the most part. My trip to Honduras was an eye opening and soul shattering experience. Serving the people of that country and being served by them was an experience that I will never forget. It's funny how easy it was to accumulate all of this stuff and now we can't sell any of it for what it was worth. I wake up every day, wondering if this is the day that God will deliver us from this. Wondering if I'm ready to really simplify my life and get back to serving. Waiting on God is one of the most humbling lessons one can endure. But maybe our waiting on Him is nothing compared to how long that He has waited on us.
I have actually developed a fear of serving or doing a small act of kindness. I used to take the kids to McDonald's (a lot) and I would occasionally hand the cashier a card that says "God Loves You" and ask him or her to pay for the car behind me and then hand them that card when they pull up to pay. It was an invigorating experience and I swear I could actually feel my heart grow. Recently, I have placed a stack of those cards in my truck and have told myself that when ever I go through a drive thru, I would pay for some one's meal. I have been to McDonald's three times now and have chickened out every single time. I found myself looking in my rear view mirror, studying the person behind me. What kind of car do they have? Is it beat up or new? Do they look poor or wealthy? Will they judge me? Does it even matter? As if it's my place to judge who is worthy of God's Love or not. Again, I am disgusted with myself and my lack of courage or love.
I will get back to where I used to be, and at the same time I will continue to grow into who I am destined to be. Our God is a Great God and his patience for me is comforting. In the words, "His Kingdom Come, His Will Be Done", is the goal that we should all set for ourselves.

Peace!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Can't Means Won't

I was listening to the radio this morning and one of the radio personalities shared a story that happened to her this week while she was at the gym. Her trainer had asked her to try a new exercise that she was not familiar with. She told her trainer that she can't do that. Her trainer simply looked at her and said, "Can't means won't".
How many of us use that excuse? "I can't spend time with my kids today because I have to work". "I can't do that outreach at church today because I just don't have enough time". "I can't help you move". "I can't solve that problem". And so on and on we continue to say we can't, when in all reality, we probably could have. We probably did have enough time, we just chose not to do something because we didn't feel like doing it.
This is not a blanket statement. I'm not saying that there are things that we simply cannot do. I'm just saying that sometimes we choose not to do some things because there may be risk or effort involved. I am constantly inviting my kids to try new things and I get the "I can't do that" excuse a lot. Sooner or later, they try and they succeed, and they realize how much fun or rewarding new things can be.
Just something to think about when someone asks us to do something. Maybe "I will try" should be our response when asked to do something that we haven't done before. At least when we try, we will know if we can or cannot do. "
"I will try to be more positive". "I will try to lend someone a hand today". "I will try to make new friends". I will try versus won't. What if God asks us to do something that is risky (and He will because He always does), and we say "I can't do that". I personally believe that He wouldn't ask us to do it if He didn't believe that we could. After all, He is God, and He knows what we can or cannot do anyway. We are telling Him that "we won't do it" and we are missing out on something big. What father isn't disappointed when his children won't try to do something when he believes that they can do it? I think this is how God feels when His children say "I can't" or "I won't".

What are the things that you can't do? Or should I say that you won't do or at least try to do?

Peace!