Poem: "A REAL MAN"

I was laying in bed this morning, trying to plan my day, when God inspired me to write this poem.

A Real Man

A real man rises in the morning
and falls to his knees in worship.
He gives thanks for the day
whether it brings joy or hardship.

A real man provides for his family
not only financially but by his spiritual obligation.
He has hope in the Lord
and prays for His Reconciliation.

A real man makes himself vulnerable
knowing that his masculinity will be in question.
He admits his fears and also his wrongs
and he asks for help in his weak conditions.

A real man doesn't have all of the answers
but he continuously prays for God's Wisdom.
He humbly cries out to his God
for it is His Love that we cannot fathom.

I often think about how vulnerable I make myself when I write these blogs. I am the kind of person who worries about what other people's opinions are of me. John the Baptist also practiced making himself vulnerable. He was honest and humble. In John 3:30, he states: "He must become greater; I must become less". There was nothing phony in that statement. John knew who he was in his relation to Jesus and he was not afraid to admit.
I am trying so hard to decrease who I am so that Jesus can increase who He is, and it is one of the hardest, most challenging and soul wrenching things that I have ever done. I am at war with myself, but I have no choice because I am sick of living with my sins. I will always be a sinner, that is just a fact of life, but I gratefully seek and appreciate God's glorious redemption.

Peace!

Learning To Walk

When an infant is born, he has no ability to do anything except for allowing his own natural body functions to perform. Eating, talking, walking and even playing has to be taught to him, he has to learn how to do everything and he is dependent on his parents to teach him and help him. In a lot of ways, when we are born again to God, we are a lot like that infant. The problem with that is, the older we get, the more we cling to our own understanding and past experiences on how to do things. One of the hardest things to do in life is to totally surrender to God and allow Him to take control of our lives. There is an incredible amount of risk involved when surrendering to God. First of all, there is the unknown. We have no concept of what God's plan is for us, and not knowing how or what to expect can be scary. Second, there is going be to pain, and a lot of it. When we begin the surrendering process, we are going to be asked to let go of stuff that we love, stuff that we hold on to and think that we can't live without. God is asking us to trust Him with that stuff. Just like parents who know what is best for their child, God knows what is best for us.
When an infant learns how to walk for the first time, it can be a very intimidating moment for both the parents and the child. I don't remember what was going through my head as an infant when I was learning to walk, but I'm pretty sure it was nerve racking and exciting at the same time. And, as a parent who was teaching my kids to walk, I pretty much felt the same way. Learning to walk is one of the biggest things to accomplish in early life. It gives us mobility and freedom. It also builds confidence. I remember how proud my kids looked when they all learned how to walk. Sometimes in our life, we can lose our way. We have to learn how to walk again and for us Christians, this means we have to let God teach us how to do so. He knows what the best directions are, what steps to avoid and when we should rest.
Recently, I have been challenged to surrender something that I love with all of my heart. Something that I have been too dependent on and afraid to let go of. I took that step yesterday, of letting go of my control over that thing that I love so much. After a night of pain and realization of what I have done, I woke this morning to God's voice asking me again, "Nick, do you still trust Me"? As I lay there allowing my brain to fully awaken and to catch up to my rambling thoughts, I recognized what He was talking about. He is going to teach me how to walk again. For the past fifteen years, I have forgotten how to walk on my own. I have become selfish and over dependent on the people that I love the most. I once wrote about allowing God to start chiseling away the crap that has caused havoc in my life. I thought that I was almost done with this journey until yesterday. This (hopefully the last) chunk has to be removed so that I cannot only walk, but run at full speed with God.
Surrendering requires patience, trust and faith. There is going to be a tremendous amount of effort on my part over the next several weeks (or months, or years, or however long it takes), but I'm ready for the challenge. It is going to be very painful at times, but my focus is on God. In the end, I believe that I will be a better, more self driven and independent man, and that God will return some of the things that I love.

Job 42:10-17 After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the LORD had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers. After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so Job died, an old man and full of years.

I pray that any of you who are going through a difficult storm in life, learn how to lean on God and trust Him through these times. I pray that you are able to fully surrender to Him so that He can teach you how to walk again and be the person that He designed you to be. I pray this in Jesus' name.

Peace!

Journey

I met Ann (my wife) seventeen years ago, on Halloween night at a techno club in Columbus, Ohio. Just to let you know, this was way before my life as a follower of Christ and, as most young men, I was just living to have a good time. Ann and I danced and drank until the club closed in the early morning hours and then we spent the rest of the morning together at a friends house watching Halloween movies until the sun came up. When the morning came, we exchanged phone numbers and we said our good-byes. At that time, I was living in Columbus and Ann was living in Cincinnati. I waited five long days before I called her to ask her out on a date. She accepted, and before we knew it, we were in a long distance relationship, traveling back and forth once a week just to spend time with each other. Although it was exhausting, I rather enjoyed all of the traveling. It wasn't long though, before I decided to pack up my stuff and move to Cincy so that I could be with her all of the time.
It's hard to believe that seventeen years have gone by so quickly. We have been married now for fifteen of those years. We have had three houses, different jobs and somehow we found Christ along the way. We now have three beautiful children that I love with all of my heart. It has been the best years of my life.
I wish that I could say the same for my bride. Over the years, I have caused her a lot of emotional pain. I have said things to her that hurt her to the core of her soul. Most of the things that I've said were probably out of my own selfish pride, things that probably made me feel redeemed from my own sinful behavior. I wish that I could go back and take them back, but I can't. I can only work on the future version of me. But, right now my future looks bleak. Not that I have lost my confidence that I can be a better man for wife, but that I may have run out of chances to prove myself. My marriage has suffered a tremendous amount of blows over the past year. I have spent a better part of that year receiving counsel in hopes of becoming the man that God designed me to be, which in return, would rescue my marriage. It has been an incredible year of growth and of struggle. Each day started off with new hope, but at day's end, all of pain and distance felt so obvious.
I believe that I am a new man. A man who is passionate for Christ. A man who is passionate for his bride and for his family. A man who has developed strong friendships with other brothers in Christ. And yet, a man who is still flesh and stuck in the ways of this world. It seems no matter how much I grow and change, the same old me rears his ugly head and finds a way to destroy everything that is good. Sometimes, I really hate the"old me".
The friendships that I have developed with other Christian men have been vital to me. They are my brothers and my church. They pray for me and I do the same for them. They accept me for who I am, good and bad. These brothers have saved my life numerous times and allowed me to do the same for them. I believe that God divinely appoints people to other people. These brothers of mine have all been part of that Holy system. Most of these guys are currently divorced or were going though a divorce when I met them. I have learned so much from them and I have been provided the opportunity to pray for them and offer them spiritual advice in their times of trial. I often wondered why I was meeting so many men who were going through divorce though. Was God trying to tell me something? It's funny, when you are called to be the strong one, you think that you are doing good for someone else when in reality, these people might have very well been placed in your life to offer you something. Job 4:1-6 speaks on this: Then Eliphaz from Teman spoke up, "Would you mind if I said something to you? Under the circumstances it's hard to keep quiet. You yourself have done this plenty of times, spoken words that clarify, encouraged those who were about to quit. Your words have put stumbling people on their feet, put fresh hope in people about to collapse. But now you're the one in trouble—you're hurting! You've been hit hard and you're reeling from the blow. But shouldn't your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn't your exemplary life give you hope?" I offered these men hope and showed them that God cares for them, and when the tables were turned and my faith was tested, I found myself not living by the same standards that I offered to these brothers of mine. Nothing like a dose of Job to set you straight.
A wise friend recently reminded me that a woman is like a flower. When God introduces that woman to a man, the man is offered a seed. It is his responsibility to provide for and nurture that seed so that it can grow to become the beautiful flower that God intended her to be. I have to admit that I suck at growing things. Usually, when I purchase a plant, I stick it in the ground and surround it with whatever clay or dirt that I dug up, and then I over douse it with water so that I won't have to feed it later. This is exactly what I have done to Ann. I didn't feed or nurture her. I failed at speaking into her life and I have not inspired her at all lately. How can a man present his wife as pure and spotless before God (Ephesians 5:27) if he has not taken care of her?
Men, we are called to serve endlessly. That is one of the hardest things to do - to serve without putting our own selfish needs first. Jesus spent His life performing miracles and serving people and most of the people that He served turned their backs to Him. He never wavered though, and He never quit. He continued to do so even until that last breath was taken on the Cross. No one is going to perfect on this, it's just not in our power to. We are all of the flesh. We are all sinners. But, we have all been set free so that we might live our lives trying to do what Jesus came to show us to do. I will never give up trying to serve my wife, and that means whether she is with or without me. When we serve our wives and when we serve one another, we are serving God (Matthew 25:40)! That should be our ultimate goal. That is where our reward will come from.
Please know, that I am not sharing this story to whine or complain about my current situation. I certainly am not grieving, yet. I don't want people to feel sympathetic for me. As a follower of Christ, I want to share my life experiences to be an example of how I glorify God, in the good and the bad times (Job 2:10). I will never stop being His disciple. I will never stop chasing after my heavenly Father. I will never stop serving and loving my wife!

Prayer: "Father, I pray for those who are experiencing dark times in their marriage. I lift them up and ask that You begin a healing process with them. Offer them discernment and wisdom. Lord, please remind the men how to serve and how to avoid being selfish. I pray for a hedge of protection over these couples, that You provide a wall of security for them. The enemy comes to steal and destroy Your work O' Lord, and that begins with marriages. May these couples acknowledge that and rebuke satan, in your name Jesus! There is Victory in You God! I thank you for everything that You have done in my life! In Jesus' name, AMEN!"

Peace!

12 Days of Christmas

The Meaning Behind The Song

The twelve days of Christmas are the twelve days between Christmas Day, Dec. 25th, the birth of Jesus, and the Epiphany, Jan. 6th, the day Christians celebrate the arrival of the Magi (Wise Men) and the revelation of Christ as the light of the world.
The Christmas song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" may sound silly and contrived to many of us. But it actually had its origins in religious symbolism - and with a serious purpose.
It dates from a time of religious persecution. The song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas," was written as a kind of secret catechism that could be sung in public without fear of arrest - a learning or memory aid to Christians in fact.
The song can be taken at two levels of interpretation - the surface meaning, or the hidden meaning known only to the Christians involved. Each element is a code word for a religious truth.

1. The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus.
2. The two turtledoves are the Old and New Testaments.
3. Three French hens stand for faith, hope and love.
4. The four calling birds are the four Gospels.
5. The five gold rings recall the Hebrew Torah (Law), or the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament.
6. The six geese a-laying stand for the six days of creation.
7. The seven swans a-swimming represent the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.
8. The eight maids a-milking are the eight Beatitudes.
9. Nine ladies dancing are the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit.
10. The ten lords a-leaping are the Ten Commandments.
11. Eleven pipers piping represent the eleven faithful Apostles.
12. Twelve drummers drumming symbolize the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles Creed.

* The "true love" in the song refers to God Himself.
* The "me" receiving the gifts is every Christian.

Peace!

Poetic Melody

Sometimes I cannot forgive,
And these days mercy cuts so deep.
If the world was how it should be,
Maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces lighter.
When we wake, we hate our brother,
We still move to hurt each other.
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent,
Falls below my heavy breathing.
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder,
We all feel the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded,
That the pain is worth the thunder.

Sometimes when I lose my grip,
I wonder what to make of Heaven.
All the times I thought to reach up,
All the times I had to give.
All the wounds that money causes.
All the comforts of cathedrals.
All the cries of thirsty children.
This is our inheritance.

- Jars Of Clay

Who Am I To . . . ?

I haven't blogged in a while because of a season of stress and lack of obedience. Once again, I am at a point in my life where I am taking another long hard look in the mirror, asking myself, "Am I the man that I want to be?"
I have been examining everything that is going on in my life and realizing how dependent on God that I really am. Our house has been on the market now for over a year and a half, and still, not one offer has come in. I am in the process of officially starting my business, but feel that it is going to fail. I have been connecting with men outside of the church, listening to their stories, and inviting them to my home to be a part of a group of men who will worship God, but no one shows up. I have quit going to church because I struggle with it's leadership and I feel like God is leading me to a new church as my home. I have been fighting to save my marriage, but feel like I am losing the battle most of the time. All of this I could swear that I heard God ask me, no . . . Tell me to do. I accepted the challenges and answered His call on all of these. I started off faithful, believing that He would be active in all of these, but it has all been going on for so long now, that I am starting to lose my faith.
And so the question arises, "Who am I to deny God?" Who am I to say that God can't bring a buyer for this home? Who am I to say that my business can't succeed? Who am I to decide to stop inviting men into my home to worship God? Who am I to say that my marriage can't be saved? If I am a believer in God, the One who has a plan for my life, who has asked me to do these things for Him, then I have no right to say that these things can't be done.
John 3:16-18 says, "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him." As followers, we have to trust and expect God to work in our lives, and not by our standards or conditions, but simply because He created us to do so.

Peace!

Temptation

James 1:13-15 says, When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Read that again, this time out loud. Now take a moment to process what this is saying. How many of us pass blame on our weakness? When we fall to temptation, who do we ultimately accuse? Every time I give in to sin, I immediately start looking for someone or something to accuse for my problems. I often ask God why He puts me in situations that He knows I am weak at. Truth is, it is my fault. I am the one who allows myself to be tempted by my own sinful desire. If I were an alcoholic, would going to social gatherings where alcohol is served be a wise choice? If my struggle was with lust of the flesh, would looking at porn be the right thing to do? If I worshiped money so much that I overworked myself to gain as much as possible be healthy? These are all circumstances that we allow our desires to control. The best advice would be to simply not put ourselves in conditions where we will be tempted. That's easier said than done though.
Whenever I am feeling the pressures of temptation, the first thing that I try to do is to get alone with God, pick up the Word and read what scripture has to say about the situation. And if I don't have a Bible available and am unable to get alone at the moment, I just simply close my eyes and pray, no matter how weird it looks to others who may be watching. For some, doing this might bring feelings of guilt. God does not want us to live in guilt, that is called condemnation, and that my friends comes from the enemy. God convicts us in our guilt (sins) and asks us what we have learned from it so that we can move on and grow from it.
Remember, God cannot be tempted! He is the ultimate example of strength. He gives us authority to be strong. In moments of weakness, we are called to lean and rely on Him. Once we make this a habit, our temptations will be easier to overcome. There will always be temptation as long as there is an enemy to throw it at us. We owe it to ourselves to be warriors for God and to fight the Good fight.

Peace!

Opportunity

I was thinking about some of the choices that I have made in the past in situations where I felt God was asking me to do something for Him. Some of the things that He has asked me to do did not make any sense at the time. For example: all my life, I dreamed of becoming an architect. I went to school, received a degree, accepted a job with a great architectural firm and started a career in something that I thought I had a passion for. At about the same time, I became a follower of Christ and my wife and I were about to bring our second child into the world. It wasn't long after Eleana was born when Ann and I pondered the thought of me being the stay at home parent. We prayed about it together and both of us felt strongly that God was calling me to do this. It didn't really make sense to me, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to do something for God.
When God asks us to do something for Him, everything in us tries to understand why. Why me? What if I fail? What do I get out of it? All of these questions rise up and bet God asks; why not you? What if you don't fail? What won't you get out of it? Our plans always seem to contradict God's plans for us. His plans trump ours. When He is calling us to do something for Him, He is providing us with the opportunity to do something great for His Kingdom. When we pray, "Your will be done, Your kingdom come", that is exactly what we are getting, a chance to be part of something divine.
I believe that our prayers can be very selfish. When we pray and ask for things such as, patience, strength or courage, do you think God just gives us these abilities? Maybe He does, but I believe that He would rather give us the opportunities to be these things so that we can grow and mature in them as we live them out. Let me share this. This past summer, I was driving and I saw an older lady out in her yard doing what appeared to be some pretty labor intensive work, especially for someone of her age and her condition. It was very hot and humid, and she looked frustrated. As I passed her up, I began to pray that God would provide someone to help her. I immediately heard, "Why don't you help her Nick?" "But", "what if", and "I can't because", were all things that rattled around in my brain, but I knew that they were just excuses because I was afraid that I would get rejected or I would fail God. He was giving me the opportunity to do something awesome and meaningful. I prayed about it for a couple weeks and then I decided to take a baby step. I wrote that lady a letter, offering my help and service to her. She responded with a hand written letter saying that she really appreciated the offer, but she rather enjoys doing yard work because it is good exercise for her. Her name is Edna and she is 94 years old. She thanked for being a good Christian man and asked me to stay in touch. The funny thing is, I didn't mention anything about being Christian in my letter to her. Maybe God told her about me. All I know is that I am glad that I took the chance.
Maybe God has been calling you to do something. What do you feel like that calling is? Are you afraid to take the chance of a lifetime? With or without you, His Will be done and His Kingdom will come, so why not get on board and be a part of something divine.

Peace!

The Woman Is Wise

We have all heard the saying, "Behind every good man, there is a great woman". While some may find this hard to be true, I believe it defines my wife. Ann has always spoken truth into to me. She has always believed in me even when I found it impossible to believe in myself.
So many times in my life I have heard people tell me, "Nick, you'll never be this or that", but not from Ann. For the most part, I have always relied on her wisdom and truth that had inspired me to believe in myself. So many times though, I have let the lies overcome me and blot out her truth. I have let my own pride get in the way of receiving true wisdom, not only from her, but from God as well. I believe that God knows when my pride is going to flare up, so He uses Ann to speak His truth to me, which can only strengthen Ann even more because she allows God to work through her to get to me. Now that is a wise woman!
The Bible is full of stories that testifies to the wisdom of women. The story of Abigail, found in 1 Samuel 25, is a great example of a woman's wisdom that saved the very life of her husband. Abigail was married to Nabal who was a mean and wicked man. King David and six hundred of his men had been watching over Nabal's property. David heard that Nabal was shearing sheep, so he sent his messengers to request some meat for his men. Nabal denied even knowing who David was and hurled insults at his messengers. The messengers returned to David with the bad news and this angered David, so he gathered four hundred of his men to go with him to kill Nabal. Abigail heard of this and immediately grabbed some wine, bread, sheep and some other supplies and secretly took it to David. When she arrived, she bowed at David's feet and asked for forgiveness for her husband. David's response was this, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request." (1 Samuel 25:32-35). Of course, ten days later, Abigail told Nabal what had happened and he suffered a heart attack and died, which allowed David to take Abigail as his wife.
Abigail was not only wise but also brave. I believe my wife would have done the same for me, and probably has saved my life at some point during our relationship. Last November, we had an argument that could have ended our marriage. I really don't remember what the argument was about. The one thing that I do remember is when she said that she doesn't know if she loves me any more. Those words alone could end it for most. I received them. I let them sink in. I took those words and some other things that we had talked about, and began to take a long hard look at myself. I discovered that I was not being a good man to her; I was a Nabal. I decided to go to a counselor and receive help in sorting out past issues of my life that had made me the man that I was being. It was hard and very painful, and sometimes it still is. But I was destined to fix myself to become the man that she needed me to be, and most of all, the man that God designed me to be. Ann's bravery to make a stand and to share those hard words with me could have wrecked me, instead, she saved my life.
I'm still struggling with being that man that I set out to be, but where there is struggle there is growth. My focus needs to be on God and what He wants for me, but I sometimes lose sight of that and make mistakes. God has put a powerful and wise woman in my life and I have to learn how to benefit from that.
"Behind every good man, there is a great woman". Brothers, do you consider yourself a good man? If married, do you believe your wife is wise? If so, can you accredit her wisdom to some of your success? What wise advice have you denied to receive? Just some things to think about in your search for wisdom.

My wonderful and truly wise bride.

Peace!

Music To My Ears

My youngest son and I were on our way home from school yesterday when he asked me, "Why do you listen to this stuff daddy?" I was listening to Classical music (Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, etc...), and I often do in the Fall and Winter to help set the mood for the seasons. I told him that it relaxes me and he just said that it drives him crazy. He is seven, and I'm sure that someday he'll learn how to appreciate it.
This got me to thinking about a conversation that I had with one of my friends while we were at the gym. We were both sharing our dislike for a local rock station, in which I won't mention the name of but it does involve a frog. I quit listening to this station when I recognized the mood that the crap it was pouring into my ears was putting me in. Most of the songs I consider to be depressing and full of hate and really disgraceful to women. It was like porn to my ears and I didn't want it filtering through me anymore. I'm pretty sure that this was about the same time that I started walking with Christ and I am quite certain that He was making me aware of it as well.
I was listening to more and more Country at the time and would switch on and off to a couple of the Christian stations. I love Country music and the message it sends. A lot of my favorite artists sing about "life" and it really relates to me. Alan Jackson's music is a good example of this. I know, I know, most people think that Country musicians only sing about how their dog died, or how their wife left them, or how their pick-up truck quit running, but that's really not the common message anymore. It's real life with real emotions, and some of it is even God focused.
Christian music has really come a long way since my teenager years. Back then it seemed like it was either one extreme or the other, from goofy big haired bands wearing skin tight striped clothes to an over churchy gospel sound that never really clicked with me. Today, Christian music has a sound for almost any venue. From hard rocking to alternative, or from more traditional to rap, it's all there, and it's all unique but straight from the heart to God. My top three favorites include, Jars Of Clay, Mercy Me and Casting Crowns, and all three of these bands can be heard on secular stations as well. They have done a great job of becoming more mainstream and getting the Word out. My radio stations are all preset to Christian stations and I try to keep a radio on where ever I am. This helps me to stay God focused throughout the day and it also helps to keep me in a good mood as well.
I'm not saying that all classic rock and other stuff that is getting air time is trash. I dig out some of my old favorites and rock out to them every now and then, but I have to keep a limit on it. I also think that a lot of the stuff that I mentioned earlier is what a lot of these musicians are struggling with, and this is their way of crying out to God. Even gangster rappers recognize their need for God, and they share their story of life in their own ways. I believe that God hears melodies no matter what the sound is.

Peace!

God Loves Failures

If you are anything like me, you can probably count more things that you have failed at rather than succeeded at in your lifetime. I think God loves that about me, especially since I have been a believer and a follower of Him. Don't get me wrong, I think that He loves to see us succeed at things as well, but it's in those times when I fail at something that I lean on Him the most, and I believe that is what He wants the most, for us to rely on Him.
The Bible is full of stories of men who constantly missed the mark or fell short of God's desires for them; Abraham, Moses, Elijah, David and Peter are all great figures of Scripture who experienced failure. Those same stories teach us about God's Grace and His never-ending pursuit of us to overcome our failures in order to succeed for Him. My favorite story is that of a man named David which can be found in the books of 1 & 2 Samuel. David had favor with God. God knew that David would have huge struggles in his life which would lead him to constant failure. But God loved him despite his flaws and blessed him with numerous opportunities to serve Him and bring Him historical glory. This is the same David that slayed Goliath the Philistine, and grew to become anointed as Israel's second King. King David had many victories and he had God's promise that his descendants will be on the throne forever. In 2 Samuel 11, we read about how David lusted after a young woman named Bathsheba and how he would have her husband, Uriah, killed so he could be married to her. Even after this shameful act, God still loved David and kept his promise to him. I don't know what you would feel in that situation, but I would have felt like the ultimate failure and completely unworthy of God's love for me.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize".
The prize is God's Love, Grace & Forgiveness for us. When ever I am feeling like a screw-up, I am reminded of this verse, and it tells me to continue to fight, continue to run the race of life, and to continue to request and count on God's assistance in what ever the matter is. Life is full of mistakes, but it's in those times that I recover from my failure and use it as a tool of growth. We are called to learn from our failures and confess them to God. This frees us to be of service to do mightier and more successful things for Him.
Just remember that ultimately, there is nothing that we can do or say that will separate us from God's Grace. For Jesus already paid that price by giving His life for our sins (and failures) on The Cross!

Peace!

Ultimate Sacrifice

I was thinking about all of my brothers and sisters last night, those who are serving this country in the armed forces. I was thinking about the war in Afghanistan and Iraq and about how many American lives have been lost, about all of those men and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. While I am hurting for the loss of life, I also understand the freedom of choice. As a veteran of the United States Air Force and of the Persian Gulf War, I knew full and well that I was putting my life on the line when I entered the military. I can't speak for the thousands who are currently serving, but I can guarantee that they are aware of the risk of death, especially in these days with the certainty of war.
My good friend, Steve Nixon, sent me an email that I have seen before, but still never ceases to amaze me every time I read it. Here is a part of it:

There was an officer in the army sitting on the other side of me. He was flying back to Afghanistan and said something that really surprised me. I asked him what was one of the biggest misconceptions about Afghanistan and here’s what he told me: “We statistically lose more 18-25 year old soldiers when they go home for R&R than we do in combat in the field.” That surprised me. If you asked me which was more dangerous, being in the middle of an armed conflict in Afghanistan or going home for a few weeks of rest and relaxation, I’d pick the first option. But the more the army officer explained it, the more it made sense. “What sometimes happens is that you have folks that go back home after being out of the country for months at a time. They’re flush with cash, haven’t been in a lot of social situations lately and think they’re out of danger.” They buy motorcycles and crash them. They make crazy financial situations that wreck them. They get in DUIs. In a million different ways they make the kind of mistakes that can ruin you. All at home. All on vacation.

I get very upset when I see a bumper sticker that says "Bring Our Troops Home", or "End The War". Too me, that is such a disgrace. It is cutting the legs out from under every soldier who has made the choice to defend his country. Where are all of the bumper stickers that say "No More Drinking or Partying"? Maybe it is the fact that we as humans value life too much. Maybe that goes against us. I think that we all get hung up on the idea that this is it, our one go at it, and when we are dead, that's it. The fact is that this is not our home. This is just a transition place before Heaven and Eternity.
There will always be a war to fight. War is Biblical, and I support any war that goes against evil. There is a real enemy and his name is Satan, and we are all God's soldiers and are asked to stand against the enemy. When I think of ultimate sacrifice, I think of Jesus and what He did on the Cross. He defeated the enemy with His victory over death. Jesus is the ultimate Hero! I have never seen a bumper sticker that says, "Jesus Is A Wimp", and if there is one, I feel sorry for the person sporting it around. I hope that I get the opportunity to go out fighting, just like my hero Jesus did.

Father God, I lift up all of my brothers and sisters who are serving this nation that I have been blessed to live in. I ask You to provide them with strength and stamina. I pray for Your will to be done with the war, Lord. Father, again I acknowledge that you are in full control of what transpires in this fallen world. Thank You God, for all of Your provisions and Your everlasting Grace. And thank You for all of the men and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice!
In Your beautiful name Jesus, Amen.

Peace!

Iron Sharpens Iron

On November 3rd, I will be starting a new Men's Group at my home. The group will be called "Iron Sharpens Iron", and it will be a place for men to come and connect with other men who are seeking God in their lives. The idea, or should I say calling, came to me this past spring, and I have put a lot of thought and prayer into it since then. In one of my recent blogs, I questioned the thought of God wanting me to be a Pastor. I still don't think that I want that title, instead, I like to consider myself a disciple (or a follower) and a Shepard of sorts. None the less, I am looking forward to the challenge of leading a group of men in finding their faith, and I thank God for His calling upon me to do this.

The name, "Iron Sharpens Iron", comes from the Bible passage - Proverbs 27:17, which states, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". This is what defines us as men. We are to hold one another accountable for our actions. We are called to lead each other and to teach each other. We are responsible for each other and are required to live our lives by God's standards as we grow together.

I chose the symbol of the sword because it is a weapon of a true warrior that is made from "iron". The sword is the word of God in which He bestows upon us to fight the enemy, Satan. The Latin engraving on this sword, "In Hoc Signo Vinces", stands for, "with this as your standard you shall have victory", and according to legend, *(Constantine 1 adopted this Greek phrase, "εν τούτῳ νίκα", as a motto after his vision of a chi rho on the sky just before the Battle of Milvian Bridge against Maxintius on 28 October 312. The early Christian symbol consists of a monogram composed of the Greek letters chi (X) and rho (P), the first two letters in the name Christ (Greek: Χριστός). In later periods the christogram "IHS" both stood for the first three letters of "Jesus" in Latinized Greek (Ιησούς, Latinized IHSOVS) and "in hoc signo" from the legend. The historian Eusebius states that Constantine was marching with his army (Eusebius doesn't specify the actual location of the event, but it's clearly not in the camp at Rome), when he looked up to the sun and saw a cross of light above it, and with it the Greek words "εν τούτῳ νίκα" ("by this, be victorious!", often rendered in Latin as In hoc signo vinces). At first, Constantine didn't know the meaning of the apparition, but in the following night, he had a dream in which Christ explained to him that he should use the sign against his enemies. Eusebius then continues to describe the Labarum, the military standard used by Constantine in his later wars against Licinius, showing the Chi-Rho sign.)
*(by Wikipedia)

My prayer is that God will put it on the hearts of the men who have been invited to attend. Either way, it is in His hands and I will simply be His vessel and do what ever He asks of me with this. If you are a man in search of your faith, or wanting to connect with other Christian men, and this group sounds interesting to you, please call me at 513.403.5058 or email me at ncalcara@roadrunner.com.

Peace!

Believe

I was reading my daily devotional yesterday when I came across this passage:

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (Matthew 21:22)

I didn't think anything of it at first and finished up my quiet time (time alone with God) by reading the Bible and praying. As I was praying, I found myself asking, "Do I really, REALLY believe?" I have to admit that doubt started to slip in and it began to overwhelm me. I have been praying for God to help us with the sale of our home and to rescue us from foreclosure, but still, we wait while nothing happens. I have been praying for God to take Ann's diabetes away, but still, she lives with it. I have been praying for God to reveal Himself in my daily activities and struggles, but I am too busy focusing on other things to see Him doing so.

The day went on and I continually allowed myself to get depressed until I felt completely detached from God. This lead to fatigue and a terrible migraine. I was down for the count.

As I was laying down, trying to relieve my headache, my wonderful bride returned home from work and came to my side. She gently rubbed my back and asked me what was wrong and I shared with her what was on my mind. She didn't interrupt or suggest anything, she just listened. When I was finished, she waited for a few moments and then shared a story with me. The story was about our son Dominick and how he is longing for his own cell phone, and although we think that now is not the right time for him to have one, we know that someday soon we will give him one. Ann was comparing Dominick's hopes for a cell phone to my prayers and whatever I have asked God for. Sounds like something Jesus would have done, doesn't it?

I have talked about God's timing before and that is pretty much what it comes down to. God knows what is best for His children. He does listen and He always provides. Praying is 50/50, which means that we have to listen for His Word just as much as we speak from our lips. Praying requires patience and awareness. And most of all, praying relies on us believing. If we didn't believe in God and His promises to us, why would He even bother listening to us in the first place?

My day ended with me thinking about all of the blessings in my life. I thought about all of the prayers that were answered or unanswered as well. As I was thinking of these, I closed my eyes and prayed to my God and thanked Him for the day and for everything that He has done in my life.

Do you believe? If not, take count of the blessings in your life.

Peace!

Best Day & Worst Day

Best Day: It was Sunday, September 4th, 1994. I had purchased a beautiful diamond engagement ring a few weeks before the Labor Day weekend and the plan was to ask Ann to marry me while we were downtown for the holiday fireworks. I carried that ring around all day, in it's case, stuffed in my sock on that hot September day. Between not having the courage to pop the question in front of thousands of people and the thought of knowing how stinky the case would be after pulling it out of my sweaty sock, I just couldn't propose to her. I waited until we returned home that evening and right there in the middle of our cozy one bedroom apartment, I got down on one knee and asked Ann Lauer to be my bride. That was my best day ever.

Worst Day: After 14 years of marriage, Ann and I have had our share of hard times. Last November, on Thanksgiving Eve, we were in the midst of yet another conflict. Accusations were thrown, and stupid things were said and then I heard the words that crushed my heart, "I don't know if I love you anymore." It has been 10 months since I have heard those words and I don't think that my heart has yet fully healed. But, I have received counsel, hard work has been done, some trust has grown back and healing is taking it's course. I have grown and learned a lot about myself and my wife over the past 10 months, and I still have a lot of work to do that lies ahead. I have been in the fight of my life, a fight for my marriage. That day before thanksgiving was my worst day ever, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. If Ann had not said what she said, I would have not have fully surrendered to God and allowed Him to do the work that needed to be done in my life to mold me into the man that I needed to be; the man that my wife deserved. In fact, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be divorced right now and still living a self-destructive, prideful and over controlling life. Thank you my bride!

What are your best and worst days?

Peace!

Time For Healing

I am addicted to exercise and to testing how far I can push myself. I have been working out now for almost 27 years and I think I push myself harder now than I used to back in the day. Something inside of me just doesn't agree that age should slow me down.
Of course, with all of the exercise that I do, comes my fair share of aches and pains. I can't remember a day that some part of my body hasn't hurt, and I have experienced some pretty bad injuries along the way as well. It doesn't matter if you are in your twenties or fifties, if you exercise, train hard or push your body to it's limit, you will feel pain. Sooner or later, you will hurt something along the way. Hurt is inevitable; in the gym, in competitions and in life.
I remember a time when I was in my twenties, a lot of people would say to me, "Just wait until you are in your thirties Nick, you'll slow down". My thirties came and went and now I am forty years old and people still say the same things to me. Most of the guys in the gym don't believe me when I tell them how old I am. They all say that I look like I am in my twenties, and I have to be honest, I feel better now than when I was in my twenties.
The thing that I have learned most, with all of my aches and pains and injuries along the way, is how to heal. Healing is vital. Being out of commission can be a great struggle for a lot of people. It means that you can't do what you once did and that is a hard thing to swallow if you are custom to constantly pushing yourself. For me, it means weeks, if not months of training just to get back to the level of exercise that I was at prior to the injury. That sucks! But if I choose to let myself heal properly, then I am also allowing myself to grow stronger. It also gives me the time to learn from my mistakes that led me to the injury. I can do things to help speed up the healing process, but ultimately the body's healing capability will take as long as it needs to on it's terms. Time itself is the best healer.
Healing has a purpose. It repairs what has been broken. I know people who have ignored their pains and tried to continue to push their selves at the same level of exercise. That can only make matters worse, at the gym and in life as well.
If I had to choose between a broken heart and a hurt knee, I would take the knee easily. I have hurt my knee multiple times lifting too much weight and I know how long my body will take to heal it now. I hate it when my heart gets broken simply because it doesn't happen that often. But when it does, it feels like it will never be the same. The pain of not knowing how long it will take to heal makes it feel like it is not even worth it to allow it to heal. But with proper healing, anything can be stronger than what it was before.
Pain doesn't have to last forever, we just need to allow the healing process to take it's place.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

Peace!

Something To Do

Tuesday morning started off just like any other Tuesday this week; get up, wake the kids up, make breakfast, pack lunch, prepare backpacks and get kids off to school. The morning ritual happens between 6:30 and 8:30. I walked home from the bus stop and began to wonder what I was going to do today. That's when it hit me. I had nothing to do.
I have spent the past three weeks, of this new school season, creating ways to get my business advertised. I created my own website from a blog, posted ads in local business magazines, handed cards out and by word of mouth. I know that this is going to be a long process and I shouldn't expect things to happen overnight, but I slipped into panic mode. "What if this doesn't work out?" and "How long is this going to take?" were questions that began to consume my mind. I have had all summer to prepare for this. I knew that my days as a stay-at-home dad would soon be coming to an end as my youngest was about to begin his adventure as a first grader. I thought I would be ready, but this Tuesday proved to me that I wasn't.
I took care of a few things that needed tending to around the house and that only lasted a couple of hours. As I sat down for a moment to take a rest, the boredom and loneliness began to set in. To me, that is a very dangerous place. That is a place where old habits rear their dark heads. I started to feel hurt as I was missing the company of my little boy that I have spent so many mornings with for the past several years. I felt lazy and weak, and a huge feeling of worthlessness came over me as a man without work or purpose might feel. I turned on the t.v. and began to watch some old sitcoms and I drifted off to sleep.
I think God spoke to me as I lay there napping on the couch. He was trying to comfort me and strengthen me at the same time. I know that He wants what is best for me and that it hurts Him when I am struggling with sins of the past. My mind was a battlefield. A war was going on between God's Love and Passion for me and the enemies lies of temptation. Still, I lay there motionless in a half state of sleep, fully aware of my thoughts and surroundings. That's when I began to pray, "God, please give me something to do."
I went to bed that evening saying the same prayer. I woke up the next morning, again, repeating that prayer. As I went through my day, I tried to keep myself busy to protect myself from boredom. I kept saying that prayer over and over in my head. I went to the gym to get some exercise which is really important to keep not only my body in condition, but my mind as well. I kind of went through the motions of my exercise routine because I had a headache and ultimately did not feel like being there. Those can be the best sessions because I am pushing myself through it. I finished my workout and then I ran into Pat. He is a guy that I have blogged about before ("At The Gym"). I value our conversations a lot these days because they are God focused and it gives me an opportunity to speak about what God is doing in my life. Pat shares his stories as well and I always leave there thinking about and praying for that guy.
As I walked to my car, I began to wonder, "now what"? I got into my car and began making phone calls to guys who are close to me to ask for prayer and wisdom. My phone rang, and I answered. It was a lady requesting some work from me. Out of the blue, my prayer was answered. God was giving me something to do. It's not much, just a car detailing job, but it's enough and I believe it's a start. I believe that God will provide for me as long as I am humble, honest and patient with Him. As long as I seek Him in everything that I do, then He will reveal Himself. Luke 11:9 says, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (New International Version).

My prayer is that God will provide for you. That he will keep you from being bored and that His company will keep you from feeling lonely. I pray that walls of pride and stubbornness come down so that you too can humbly ask Him for what you want.

Peace!

Redlegs

It was about four years ago when I received two tickets to a Red's game as a gift from my wife on Father's Day. I have been and avid fan and follower of the Red's since the day that I used those tickets and took my son Dominick to that ball game. There is something special about being at a ball game when it's just a father and son moment.
Last night, I took the whole family down to watch the Redlegs play the Pittsburgh Pirates in the second of a three game series. They beat the Pirates the night before with the bases loaded and no outs in the bottom of the 12th, when Jonny Gomes hit a broken-bat grounder to Ronny Cedeno. The shortstop scooped it up and went home with a throw that was a little short but playable. Catcher Chris Snyder dropped the ball for an error as Chris Heisey scored the go-ahead run.
Last night's thriller would prove to be no different as the Red's, Joey Votto, delivered his first career walk-off homer in extra innings as well.

Here are some pics of last night's action.

An Ohio based Navy Seals Unit, just back from Afghanistan, secured the pitcher's mound and delivered the game ball.

The Cuban Missle, Aroldis Chapman, wears the infamous pink backpack on his way to the dugout.

Taste of Heaven: Perfect late summer evening, Cincinnati skyline and the Cincinnati Reds.

Great American Ball Park scoreboard at the top of the first.

Right fielder, Miguel Cairo, fields a hit.

Anthony being himself and Ann on her iphone in the background.

Eleana having a good time sitting next to her daddy at a ball game.

Peace!

Nine11

Chief John Jonas was on the 27th floor in stairwell B of the north tower when he received word that the south tower had collapsed. As a fireman, everything in him told him to continue on. His instinct told him opposite. As he and five other members of Ladder Company 6 approached the 28th floor, the chief made the decision to head back down and get out of the north tower. On about the 20th floor, they ran into Josephine Harris, a heavyset, 59-year-old bookkeeper who had worked at the Port Authority for six months. Josephine had already made it down 50 floors when her leg, injured from a previous accident, had given out. As firefighter, Billy Butler, bent over to assist Josephine, he looked up at Jonas and asked, "What do you want to do with her, Cap?" “We got to bring her with us,” he told his company. By that point, Harris could barely stand. Butler, short, barrel-chested, the company’s strongest man, put her arm over his shoulder. The company’s pace slowed to Harris’s. They had made it to the 5th floor when Harris decided she could go no further. Chief Jonas went to look for a chair to carry Harris the rest of the way down on when he ran into Port Authority officer David Lim. They could not find a chair so David Lim placed his arm around Harris to help carry her to the 4th floor. That's when they felt the wind. As the north tower began to collapse some 60 floors above them, wind began to blast downwards through the stairwell caused by each floor pancaking down on top of each other. Within 8 seconds, the tower disintegrated into a massive pile of rubble that completely surrounded a salvaged portion of stairwell B that still had 16 survivors trapped inside. Jonas recalls thinking, "I can't believe this is how I am going to die". After the pitch blackness of the dust had settled, he realized he was still alive, along with David Lim and his five firefighters, Mike Meldrum, Matt Komorowski, Billy Butler, Tom Falco and Sal D'Agostino; and of course Josephine Harris, in which they now refer to as their guardian angel.

Father God, may Your Holy Spirit continue to rest upon those who were left to carry the burden of the loss of a loved one. May they know that You are still in control and that all things that happen, good and bad, are covered by Your mercy and grace. And thank You God, for the heroes of that day, the ones that died saving lives and the ones that survived. Thank You for the men and women that serve around the world in their continuing efforts to push back and defeat the darkness of evil. In Jesus, Amen.

Pain

I just wanted to share a quick story that my good friend, Jody Burgin, wrote in one of his devotions. This story is awesome and very inspirational. Please read it and enjoy.

For twenty years, the great French artist Renoir was in great pain and misery. Rheumatism had wracked his body and crippled his fingers. Sometimes, as he held his brush between his thumb and forefinger and slowly and painfully applied his paints to the canvas, great beads of perspiration broke out on his forehead. His suffering often was so great that he cried out in pain as he painted. He could not stand up to paint, so he was placed in a chair that was raised up and down to give him access to the upper and lower parts of his canvas. Sometimes a doctor gave him sedatives, but the suffering was hardly touched.

Yet Renoir was diligent, painting in pain great masterpieces of beauty and enchantment. One day his disciple Matisse pleaded with him, "Master, why do you do more? Why torture yourself?"

Gazing at one of his favorite canvasses, Renoir replied, "The pain passes, but the beauty remains."

What a wonderful motto this is for breakthrough living. We have gone through great pain and suffering, but it has passed; it is over and gone. Diligence compels us to accept each task as a special assignment from the Lord and use all my energies to do it quickly and skillfully. The result of our effort, the beauty, the victory, remains.

So much of what we have yet to do will be painful, but the results will last. Our pain can energize us and stimulate us to diligently move on and move away from our suffering. Whatever it does, our pain indicates that we are alive and sensitive, not numb and senseless - or dead.

O Christ, keep me painting, doing, working, living in spite of the pain I suffer. Amen.

That last line says it all: Whatever it does, our pain indicates that we are alive and sensitive, not numb and senseless - or dead. Anybody who knows me at all, knows that I have always said, "I like pain because it reminds me that I am alive!" If you are experiencing pain in any aspect of your life, I challenge you to lift it up to God and examine how much you feel alive when He begins to deliver you from it.

Peace!

Drought

Have you ever felt like your life is in a drought or you are lost in the wilderness without God? That is what I have been experiencing for quite some time now. I was reading my daily passages on Biblegateway.com a couple of weeks ago when a book advertisement popped up on one of the side bars of the web site. "The Land Between", by Jeff Manion is a book about all of life's unwanted transitions, (unemployment, foreclosure, illness, family crisis, etc.), and how to apply God's teaching to deal with them.

In the book of Exodus, God leads Moses and the Israelites into the desert to escape from Egypt. God promised Moses a land of their own, "filled with milk and honey". But in order to get there, they would have to endure the desert. The desert is the middle space, the land between two desirable places. Behind them was Egypt, a land filled with bountiful meals and riches, but in order to receive it you had to live under the Pharaoh as a slave. The land ahead was the promised land, the land full of milk and honey, the land that God promised to Moses and the Israelites.
Jeff Manion uses the book of Exodus as an example that compares to our droughts. In life, there will always be trials and crisis. We never know when it will happen, but it does and most times we will not be prepared for it. No one is exempt from crisis. The question is, "How will we deal with it when it hits"? The Israelites chose to whine and complain against God. This left Moses in a very uncomfortable position. Not only was he stuck in the desert, but he had to put up with the whiny Israelites as well.
In my desert place, I have been trying to trust and rely on God. I have never prayed as much as I do now until I got caught in this drought. I have even been whiny at times, questioning God's Word and His promise to me. I don't think God likes it when we whine and I'm willing to bet that He ignores us at those times, just like when we ignore our children when they are whining about something. On the other hand, I am willing to bet that when we pray in honesty to Him, He listens to us and wants to help us, even if His help comes in a form that we aren't expecting.
The chapter of this book that hit me the hardest was chapter ten, "The Disciplinarian". Jeff uses this chapter to explain how God had to discipline the Israelites before He could allow them to enter the promised land. In the ongoing complaints that the Israelites were delivering, they began to demand things as well. They were sick of eating manna and they wanted meat. Moses warns them that the promise of meat will be delivered, not just for a day though but for a whole month. "They would have meat until it comes out of their nostrils", is the way it is written in Numbers 11:20. I sometimes wonder if I could eat meat until it fell from my nose. I'm guessing if it did, I probably wouldn't want it any more. The discipline comes in the form of a plague. There was so much meat that most of it went bad. The Israelites were unaware of this and continued to eat the spoiled meat. This eventually led to a lot of upset tummies and even death among their people. Seems kind of harsh that God would supply them with spoiled meat to teach them a lesson for complaining and for being demanding. Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't there supposed to be consequences when discipline is being administered? Here is the paragraph that hit me the hardest from this chapter:

Sometimes God will give us what we demand and let us take the consequences. This is not because He hates us or has given up on us. As harsh as those consequences may be, they are still under the control of a God who loves us and a God who sees. He sees the big picture. He sees what's coming. He knows the events and challenges for which we need to be prepared. In Hebrews, we read, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (12:11).

My personal example of this is the house that we live in. The house that we said that God opened the door for us to because He wanted to bless us with it. The house that I thought I HAD to have. The house that I thought everybody would admire me for. The house that has been on the market now for a year and a half. The same house that has become my own personal prison. Even now, I am whining and complaining about it. But I have been receiving and continue gratefully to receive my discipline. I believe that I have experienced the most spiritual growth of my life in this past year and a half. I have grown closer to God and continue to rely on Him to keep His word and deliver us from this financial burden. He hears my cries and gives me hope. I pray honestly to Him everyday, and several times throughout the day, and ask Him for His provision. I know God wants the best for me, as He does for all of us, but I cannot receive what He has for me until I totally surrender to Him.
This season of drought will be over soon, only to yield to a new season of trials and tests, but I am remaining patient and my excitement grows every day to see what He has in store for me.
So, what does your desert place look like? Will you allow God to work in it? Will you give thanks for the good and the bad? Just some things to think about while you wander around in the land between.

Peace!

Hard Lessons

Story:
Dante is a tenth-grade football player full of potential. After football practice one afternoon, his coach asked to see him in his office. Dante was leading his team in total yards and touchdowns. Partway through the season, the coaching staff even began considering moving him up to the varsity team. Rarely had they seen such promise in a maturing young player. Football came so naturally to Dante that he was a dominant force without even working at it. And that was the problem - the reason he was in the coach's office. He just wasn't working at it.
Discipline issues with Dante were becoming an increasing concern. He was constantly showing up late to practice with no reason. He misbehaved during practice and even mocked the coach. He figured that he was so good that he didn't have a need to be coached.
When Dante made it to the coach's office, it was to his surprise to see the varsity football coach also present for the meeting. His coach asked him to have a seat and proceeded by reminding Dante how much talent and potential that he has. Then he said, "But your unwillingness to receive correction, your tardiness and your misbehavior is poisoning this team." The coach then made the decision to bench Dante for the remainder of the season, even if this meant no chance of making it to the playoffs.
Then it was the varsity coach's turn. He concurred with everything that Dante's coach had mentioned. He too, made Dante aware of his talent and potential, but informed him that there would no place for him on the varsity team unless his attitude changed. Disrespect would not be tolerated, no exceptions.
Dante thought the coaches were trying to destroy his image and more important, his football career. But as the season rolled on, Dante realized that the coach was actually disciplining him in order to rescue him, not only for his current position but for his future as a football player as well. That is what good discipline does. It has to inflict pain sometimes in order to save or rescue something. Maybe God has to discipline us in ways that may seem harsh in an attempt to rescue us.

I read a story similar to this recently and was thinking about my son's soccer practice last night and I thought I would compare his situation to the story. Dominick didn't feel like going to practice last night for a number of reasons. He had a headache, it was too hot and I'm quite certain that he thinks that he is too good for practice sometimes. After a grueling hour and a half in 98 degree heat, Dominick immediately began to complain about how hard it was because of the heat and about how much he doesn't think that he needs to be at the optional practice on Thursday evenings. I'm not trying to call him out or ridicule him, he is my son and I love him. But it drives me completely up the wall to hear him talk about his life dream of skipping college, becoming a pro soccer player and moving to Barcelona to play soccer for his dream team. I am constantly trying to reassure him that there isn't one guy on that team (or any professional team for that matter) that hasn't paid their dues. I often use the example of Michael Jordan and how he would show up on a court that was filled with guys much older and better than him and played hoops with them - no matter what.
Dominick is an exceptional soccer player. He has played it since he was 5 years old. He lives, eats and breathes soccer. I love watching him each season and I have noticed how much of a leader he is on the field. That leadership will prepare him for a lot of things in life. I am very reserved on the sidelines compared to a lot of other fanatic parents. I watch and when the game is over, I tell him what I think he needs to improve on. Sometimes he takes that info as an insult and sometimes he accepts it as good advice, I guess it just depends on if his team has won or lost and what kind of mood he is in. He is well aware of his gift and we constantly try to keep it respectable, but even he needs discipline sometimes to keep his perspective on things.

I am thankful that God has provided me the opportunity to father someone and discipline them as well. I know that He is constantly disciplining me in my life and that there will always be areas in my life where I need it most. It may seem harsh sometimes, but I believe that it is in those difficult moments where the most growth and maturity will occur.

Peace!

Give Yourself Away

What does true sacrifice mean to you? What would you freely give up for someone? Is it your time? Your money? Your career? Your life? Last night, I met a guy who gave his all for someone very close to him. Let me share his story.

I only know his first name is Chris. He came to our small group of men to share his story of faith, love and true sacrifice. Chris is a Texas native and has only been in Cincinnati for a short period of time. Upon his arrival, Chris prayed for God to provide him a church home and the answer was Vineyard West Side. Chris came and he immediately felt like this was his family. He has only been to church for a couple of weeks, and already he has found a place where his community would love him and accept him for who he is.
Last night, as our group discussed the topic of sacrifice, I sat across from Chris and watched him slowly open up to share a story that completely broke me. The question came up, "What does true sacrifice look like and do we have what it takes to do it"? Chris answered with this: His wife of fifteen years, his soul mate, had sclerosis of the liver which is a life ending disease. Chris sacrificed everything to take care of his wife until her last breath. He gave up his job to be with her. He had no income to pay for food or transportation. He spent every second of his life to stay by her side and walk this out with her. Eventually the disease would prevail and his wife died in his arms. Chris would spend the next several months receiving counseling and would eventually find himself at the mercy of alcohol to ease the pain of his loss.
When Chris moved to Cincinnati, he met another woman and began dating her. During there courtship, she discovered a lump on her neck. They went to see a Doctor and he delivered the devastating news. Without hesitation, Chris immediately vowed to his new love that he would be there for her. The cancer was already in stage four and had spread to lungs. After months of therapy and hospice, Chris again had the love of his life die in his arms.
After sharing his story, Chris wiped the tears from his eyes and spoke to us with an authoritative voice. He told us that we should not worry if we will ever be up to the task of giving up one's self for the life of another. God would provide! When Chris gave up everything to be with his wife, he still had everything he needed to live. He had food, shelter, transportation and strength to carry on. All of which God provided for him. Sacrifice was not something that he could prepare himself for. The circumstances arose and Chris simply set his fears aside and stepped up to the plate.

I believe that God knew that Chris would have the strength to sacrifice himself not only once, but twice to love and comfort one of God's daughters on their deathbed. Chris knew his role, he knew that God was asking him to do this for Him. It might seem like a crappy thing to be asked to do, but he will be rewarded greatly for it, if not in this life, then definitely the next. Nothing can prepare us for the storms. Nothing can prepare us for the life altering events that can and will take place. The only thing we can cling to is our faith in Christ and know that He is with us, no matter what. And I think that Jesus knows a little about giving up a life to benefit the lives of others. He paid the ultimate price for a world full of sinners.

I believe that it was U2's Bono that originally sang, "And you give . . . and you give . . . and you give yourself away". So again I ask, What does true sacrifice mean to you? Would you freely give your time, money, career or even your life for someone? How can you give yourself away?

Stuff

Have you ever felt like everything around you is falling apart? Like everything in your life that you had security in, is all of a sudden in jeopardy? This past week has had that effect on me. Let me explain.

My wife and I have spent the past several years traveling down this path of seeking and filling. We have been seeking God and what His will is for us, and at the same time, filling our lives with things that are considered earthly treasures. All the while, thanking God for such blessings. Was His will for us just to collect stuff? Probably not. But maybe He allowed us to have such things just to show us that we wouldn't need it anyway. Confused yet?

I think that all of us feel as though we need something to make us happy at one point or another in our lives. Maybe it's a house, or furniture, or cars, or electronics, etc....etc.... But in reality, those things don't bring true happiness. I fell for that lie. I thought that the really nice house was a must. Then we had to fill the house with all of the stuff. Then came the cars. Then . . . one day I take a trip to a different country and witness people who have nothing. My world begins to fall apart. I return home and decide that we should sell our house. Well, the house has been on the market for over a year now and still not one offer has come in. We lower the price to less than what we paid for it, and still, nothing. So, we begin to put the stuff up for sale that has been occupying space in the house. This is where it starts to feel like everything is falling apart. We now have empty rooms in the house that were once filled with glamorous items. We took pride in those items. It feels odd to go into those rooms to witness emptiness. The thought goes through my head, "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away". It makes me sad. I begin to question my thoughts and my faith. Why did I feel led to sell the house only to have the market drop out from underneath us and to put us in a position of financial disaster? Does God want this for us? When is He going to deliver on His word in all of this? These are the questions that ramble through my head every minute of every day.

Then comes the stress that all of this puts our family in. Saying goodbye to things we once had joy in is hard, but knowing that we have to sell it just to replenish our depleted savings account is even harder. The mortgage consumed the savings account months ago, so something had to be done. It is even more depressing thinking that this house could have been our nest egg and then a failed market proved otherwise. There is the stress of deciding what will be sacrificed on the chopping block next. The stress of listing and coordinating everything. The continuous stress of seeing things go, and yet the house remains to be a burden. I begin to wonder if God has to strip us of the stuff inside the house first, in order to prepare us for the move.

There is a story in the Bible about a guy name Job. This guy had it all and lost it all. His children were killed as well as all of his livestock. His possessions were taken. His friends and wife turned against him. Even his health and own life was at stake. His whole world crashed around him, and yet he remained loyal and faithful to God. God allowed satin to commit all of these things on Job (but He did not give satin permission to take Job's life) in order to prove to satin that Job would remain faithful. Job remained and there was victory in God.

Lately, I have been comparing myself to Job. I have been wondering, "what's next"? Will I lose my children, my wife or my friends? Will I have the strength to remain faithful? I hope that I don't have to lose loved ones and that I will have the strength.

Only God knows what my future holds. I know that He has a plan for me/us. I know that He is protecting us from disaster. My job is to just trust Him and let Him lead. I am holding on to His word and His promise that there are greater treasures that He has in store for us, far greater than the ones that we have acquired on this earth on our own.

Peace!

Dunk Fest 2010 (VWS Style)

Once a year, our church has it's annual baptism celebration. It usually kicks off around ten in the morning and stretches into mid afternoon. With live music provided by Jon Price and group, and a cookout after wards, this is a celebration not to be missed. Last year around sixty people publicly gave their lives to Christ and I'm sure that there were probably close to that many this past Sunday as well.

My brother from another mother entered the water this year. Kelly Jackson came into my life just a little over a year ago. We were having a free car-wash at the church when this guy showed up in his minivan, thinking that he was just there to get his vehicle cleaned for free that day. God had other plans! My other brother, Steve Nixon, and I were introduced to Kelly and he told us that he was looking for group of Christian men to connect with. We invited him to our men's group and we prayed for him on the spot that day while bird poop and leaves were being removed from his car. Kelly informed me, just a few days before Sunday, that he was going to get baptized. That morning, he asked Steve and I if we would do the honor of baptizing him. My wife took some incredible pictures of the moment. As we invited the Holy Spirit and prayed over Kelly, our brother poured out his emotions and gave it all to God.
Take a look:


Matthew 3:13-17
The Baptism of Jesus

¹³Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John. ¹⁴But John tried to deter him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?"
¹⁵Jesus replied, "Let it be so now; it is proper for us to do this to fulfill all righteousness." Then John consented.
¹⁶As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and lighting on him. ¹⁷And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."

God painted the sky that evening, in a way that only He can create. His love is unfathomable and His mercy is endless. What a glorious day!

Peace!