I was at the gym yesterday and I ran into my new friend Patrick. We started sharing stories about our tattoos, where we got them and what they mean to us. Patrick has a tattoo of a cross with some flames at the top of it and a profile of Jesus' face at the foot of the cross. He said that he thinks the flames makes it look too religious, and I told him that I think that it represents God's burning love and desire for him. Then I said this to him; "Did you know that Jesus spent most of His life trying to get people to stop being religious and to just simply follow Him? He is the way and the light". A look of confusion came upon Patrick's face, as if I just challenged everything that he knew about Jesus and what He stood for. I think in that moment I planted a spiritual seed.
The Parable of the Sower
1Again Jesus began to teach by the lake. The crowd that gathered around him was so large that he got into a boat and sat in it out on the lake, while all the people were along the shore at the water's edge. 2He taught them many things by parables, and in his teaching said: 3"Listen! A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not bear grain. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and produced a crop, multiplying thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times."
9Then Jesus said, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
10When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. 11He told them, "The secret of the kingdom of God has been given to you. But to those on the outside everything is said in parables 12so that,
" 'they may be ever seeing but never perceiving,
and ever hearing but never understanding;
otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!'[a]"
13Then Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable? 14The farmer sows the word. 15Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them. 16Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. 17But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away. 18Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; 19but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. 20Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop—thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown."
I love the parable of the sower. I love seeing people who have just had a seed planted within them, and then watching them grow and blossom in the Word. I think of my own growth and how much I still have yet to do. I don't know if Patrick even remembered our conversation as soon as he stepped foot out the door of the gym that day. I'm sure it will cross his mind sooner or later, and when it does, I hope that he digs into his own faith and wrestles with God with all of his questions. I hope that, if a seed was planted, it continues to cultivate and grow. I hope that God uses me and what little I think that I know about Him to plant more seeds.
Peace!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Winter To Spring
I don't know if I actually have a favorite season. I think that I like the transformation that happens between the seasons the most. I love it when summer shifts in to autumn and my favorite is when winter hosts in spring.
Seasons alone are long and become mundane. The hot humid air of summer wears me down after a while and I long for a blast of cool Canadian air to sweep down over us. But when that cool Canadian air brings freezing temperatures and snow well into the month of March, then I am ready for spring.
This winter has definitely brought it's share of snow. I like the snow. I actually love shoveling it. I get a kick out of how many of my neighbors use snow blowers to remove the snow from their driveways and it takes them almost twice as long than me. There is something still to be said for good ole fashion elbow grease. I love playing in the snow too. Sledding with the kids will always be one of my favorites. I just wish that it would snow more at the beginning of winter rather than towards the end of it.
I don't like winters that are long and bitterly cold. The kind of winters when the temps are in the single digits and the wind cuts right through me. Those are the kind of winters that make me look forward to our family trip to Florida in the spring.
Growth and new life is the theme of every spring. And I'm not just referring to grass, flowers and trees. It is a season of change for us as well. A chance to come out of our winter cocoons and grow into something beautiful. This spring, I am continuing to grow into my new role as a man. The man that God intended for me to be. A better father and a better husband. A better servant, and not just to those around me, but to God as well. In Matthew 25:40, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." By this He meant that when ever we serve each other, we are really serving Him. That's a beautiful thing.
There are also dangers that come with the change of seasons. Cabin fever can cause boredom. Boredom is a killer of men. When a man becomes bored, he drifts. He slips into patterns of unhealthy behavior. Every man has his own suffice to cure his own boredom, and I definitely have my share of mine. I always get the automotive bug in the spring. No, I'm not going to purchase another vehicle. I love customizing whatever it is that I am driving. The danger in this is that it is an expensive hobby. I buy things that I don't really need and I do it behind my spouse's back. My only cure for this is to focus on the Word. I need friends that will hold me accountable. This accountability applies to everything from staying away from pornography to not spending money on stupid stuff for my truck.
This spring, my focus is on God's gift of growth for me. I will continue to transform into the man that He is calling me to be. And if it continues to snow, I will out-shovel my snow blower neighbors.
Peace!
Seasons alone are long and become mundane. The hot humid air of summer wears me down after a while and I long for a blast of cool Canadian air to sweep down over us. But when that cool Canadian air brings freezing temperatures and snow well into the month of March, then I am ready for spring.
This winter has definitely brought it's share of snow. I like the snow. I actually love shoveling it. I get a kick out of how many of my neighbors use snow blowers to remove the snow from their driveways and it takes them almost twice as long than me. There is something still to be said for good ole fashion elbow grease. I love playing in the snow too. Sledding with the kids will always be one of my favorites. I just wish that it would snow more at the beginning of winter rather than towards the end of it.
I don't like winters that are long and bitterly cold. The kind of winters when the temps are in the single digits and the wind cuts right through me. Those are the kind of winters that make me look forward to our family trip to Florida in the spring.
Growth and new life is the theme of every spring. And I'm not just referring to grass, flowers and trees. It is a season of change for us as well. A chance to come out of our winter cocoons and grow into something beautiful. This spring, I am continuing to grow into my new role as a man. The man that God intended for me to be. A better father and a better husband. A better servant, and not just to those around me, but to God as well. In Matthew 25:40, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." By this He meant that when ever we serve each other, we are really serving Him. That's a beautiful thing.
There are also dangers that come with the change of seasons. Cabin fever can cause boredom. Boredom is a killer of men. When a man becomes bored, he drifts. He slips into patterns of unhealthy behavior. Every man has his own suffice to cure his own boredom, and I definitely have my share of mine. I always get the automotive bug in the spring. No, I'm not going to purchase another vehicle. I love customizing whatever it is that I am driving. The danger in this is that it is an expensive hobby. I buy things that I don't really need and I do it behind my spouse's back. My only cure for this is to focus on the Word. I need friends that will hold me accountable. This accountability applies to everything from staying away from pornography to not spending money on stupid stuff for my truck.
This spring, my focus is on God's gift of growth for me. I will continue to transform into the man that He is calling me to be. And if it continues to snow, I will out-shovel my snow blower neighbors.
Peace!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Offering
Lately, I have been processing the question, "what I have been called to place on the alter"? By that I mean, what I am willing to give up or reduce in order to grow into a better relationship with God and to hear Him clearer.
I have blogged numerous times about the sale of our current home with the goal of down sizing. I have gone through every room of the house; disposing of worthless stuff, donating clothes and furniture, and listing small valuables for sale. I have even started to offer my beloved Mustang for sale. These are all items that I have found myself placing on the alter. I have to admit that a great joy has grown in my heart from releasing stuff that I have held on to and from just simply "giving".
All of these have been noble offerings, and I think that they have pleased God. But, doesn't it all belong to Him anyway? Does He really care about our stuff? Maybe He does, if our stuff takes our focus off of Him. But I think it goes deeper than our material possessions. I believe that He wants more from us. I believe that He wants the things that matter to us the most. What if we put our children and our spouse on the alter? What if we placed all of our relationships on the alter? What happens when we sacrifice our life and our very soul and surrender it to God?
Matthew 6:19-24 says:
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
Verse 22 speaks of the eyes being the lamp of the body. If the eyes are good, the body will be full of the light (God's Spirit). I have often allowed my eyes to wander in the past. And every time I did, I lost my focus on God and what He wants for me. I allowed all of the lies in my life to speak volumes. I allowed my earthly wants to overcome my Godly needs. Lately, I have been praying to God, "Let me see the world with Your eyes Father".
Romans 12:1,2 calls us to offer a living sacrifice:
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
That my friends, is putting it ALL on the alter. Offering your life as a Holy Sacrifice. This is what I believe brings God great joy. I have been going through the daunting task of reading the Bible in one year. The old testament is filled with procedures of offering. Especially in Exodus and Leviticus. A lot of small animals and birds were sacrificed to offer up to the Lord. Those procedures were proper for that day and age, but I think these days, God just simply wants our hearts. And I don't mean to rip it out and spread the blood around as it was done in the old testament. Just simply surrender to Him. Offer Him your time. Pray to see the world with His eyes. Trust in His plans for you, and you will be blessed.
Peace!
I have blogged numerous times about the sale of our current home with the goal of down sizing. I have gone through every room of the house; disposing of worthless stuff, donating clothes and furniture, and listing small valuables for sale. I have even started to offer my beloved Mustang for sale. These are all items that I have found myself placing on the alter. I have to admit that a great joy has grown in my heart from releasing stuff that I have held on to and from just simply "giving".
All of these have been noble offerings, and I think that they have pleased God. But, doesn't it all belong to Him anyway? Does He really care about our stuff? Maybe He does, if our stuff takes our focus off of Him. But I think it goes deeper than our material possessions. I believe that He wants more from us. I believe that He wants the things that matter to us the most. What if we put our children and our spouse on the alter? What if we placed all of our relationships on the alter? What happens when we sacrifice our life and our very soul and surrender it to God?
Matthew 6:19-24 says:
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
22"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
Verse 22 speaks of the eyes being the lamp of the body. If the eyes are good, the body will be full of the light (God's Spirit). I have often allowed my eyes to wander in the past. And every time I did, I lost my focus on God and what He wants for me. I allowed all of the lies in my life to speak volumes. I allowed my earthly wants to overcome my Godly needs. Lately, I have been praying to God, "Let me see the world with Your eyes Father".
Romans 12:1,2 calls us to offer a living sacrifice:
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
That my friends, is putting it ALL on the alter. Offering your life as a Holy Sacrifice. This is what I believe brings God great joy. I have been going through the daunting task of reading the Bible in one year. The old testament is filled with procedures of offering. Especially in Exodus and Leviticus. A lot of small animals and birds were sacrificed to offer up to the Lord. Those procedures were proper for that day and age, but I think these days, God just simply wants our hearts. And I don't mean to rip it out and spread the blood around as it was done in the old testament. Just simply surrender to Him. Offer Him your time. Pray to see the world with His eyes. Trust in His plans for you, and you will be blessed.
Peace!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Finding God
It's easy to find God in a God centered environment. But where is He in the secular world? At the mall?, on the face of a homeless man?, maybe at your kid's soccer game?. I've been seeing Him a lot at my gym lately. Well, not physically, but I have been meeting a lot of His followers there. That would be cool though! He would be the BIGGEST freak in there!
I like the movies "Bruce Almighty" & "Evan Almighty". Morgan Freeman plays the role of God in both of these movies, and I really think he fit that role perfectly. I love how he transforms from a homeless man on the street into God. What if? What if He was really out there on the streets just watching us? Just interacting with us?
Over the next few weeks I am going to challenge myself to find God in the secular world. I am going to introduce myself to people that I don't even know and try to discover God in them. I'm not going to interview or ask religious questions. I'm just going to "get to know them". I will be praying and asking God to show up. I'm excited to see what I will find.
I like the movies "Bruce Almighty" & "Evan Almighty". Morgan Freeman plays the role of God in both of these movies, and I really think he fit that role perfectly. I love how he transforms from a homeless man on the street into God. What if? What if He was really out there on the streets just watching us? Just interacting with us?
Over the next few weeks I am going to challenge myself to find God in the secular world. I am going to introduce myself to people that I don't even know and try to discover God in them. I'm not going to interview or ask religious questions. I'm just going to "get to know them". I will be praying and asking God to show up. I'm excited to see what I will find.
Surrender
As a follower of Christ, I sometimes find it hard to yield to Him. I find myself struggling with my trust in Him and what His will is for me. I know that He has a plan for me; He has a plan for all of us. He ultimately wants what is best for us, and if we surrender to Him, then His will be done.
My good friend and counselor, Jody Burgin, sends me a daily devotional. God has gifted Jody with great wisdom and intellect. Here is one of his writings from the devotional:
Aren't we all like little children who have a million requests to make to our heavenly Parent? As we plead for this or that, we have no real idea of what is best for us. We know, however, that we can always ask. That freedom to request, that easy access to petition, is our greatest favor and honor. We are never turned away in our questioning, pleading - even crying - to God. If we trust him, we will also say that we "leave the results of it entirely to you." God's results are always good, always best, always right.
God knows what is best for us, just like the parents that know what is best for their child. We should surrender ourselves to Him on a daily basis. Start off with small sacrifices and work towards total surrender. His blessings will be constant with all that we surrender to Him.
So, is this a lesson in surrendering my self-control to Him? If I surrender, will I trust more, and have more faith? Yes. I believe that I will. I'm trying so hard to accept that He knows what is best for me, and my family. Even with the sale of this house, I am trying to accept the fact that He has a plan for us, and this house WILL sell when He wants it to, despite the market that we are in. Even if we have to sell it for almost what we paid for it and start over again; He is in control.
That past three months have been a battlefield and proving ground for me. I have learned so much about myself. I have come to some hard realizations about myself. I have made progress and I have made mistakes. I have struggled and I have grown. I have a lot of work to do, but I look forward to the challenge.
Father, You know what is best for me. You listen to my requests and You provide only what is needed. Thank You God, for opening the doors to the things I need and closing the doors that do not suit my best interest. You are in control Father, I will yield and surrender all authority to You. In Jesus!
Peace!
My good friend and counselor, Jody Burgin, sends me a daily devotional. God has gifted Jody with great wisdom and intellect. Here is one of his writings from the devotional:
Aren't we all like little children who have a million requests to make to our heavenly Parent? As we plead for this or that, we have no real idea of what is best for us. We know, however, that we can always ask. That freedom to request, that easy access to petition, is our greatest favor and honor. We are never turned away in our questioning, pleading - even crying - to God. If we trust him, we will also say that we "leave the results of it entirely to you." God's results are always good, always best, always right.
God knows what is best for us, just like the parents that know what is best for their child. We should surrender ourselves to Him on a daily basis. Start off with small sacrifices and work towards total surrender. His blessings will be constant with all that we surrender to Him.
So, is this a lesson in surrendering my self-control to Him? If I surrender, will I trust more, and have more faith? Yes. I believe that I will. I'm trying so hard to accept that He knows what is best for me, and my family. Even with the sale of this house, I am trying to accept the fact that He has a plan for us, and this house WILL sell when He wants it to, despite the market that we are in. Even if we have to sell it for almost what we paid for it and start over again; He is in control.
That past three months have been a battlefield and proving ground for me. I have learned so much about myself. I have come to some hard realizations about myself. I have made progress and I have made mistakes. I have struggled and I have grown. I have a lot of work to do, but I look forward to the challenge.
Father, You know what is best for me. You listen to my requests and You provide only what is needed. Thank You God, for opening the doors to the things I need and closing the doors that do not suit my best interest. You are in control Father, I will yield and surrender all authority to You. In Jesus!
Peace!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Coco In The Snow Snow
This is Coco. She is our family dog. She LOVES snow days!
This is Coco eating the snow. This is her favorite thing about winter.
This is Coco looking for an old faded tennis ball that I threw into the snow. You'd think that she would be able to pick up the scent and find it.
This is Coco going pee pee in the snow. Don't eat the yellow stuff.
She is still looking for that darn tennis ball.
This is Coco going number two in the snow. I'm thankful for indoor plumbing.
I don't think she will ever find that tennis ball . . . not until all of this white stuff melts anyway.
This is Coco trying to get some sleep after playing in the snow. I don't think she wants to be bothered.
You can't hear her, but she is snoring right now, and quite loudly. Her lips flop around a lot when she snores. All the snow must have worn her out.
This is Coco eating the snow. This is her favorite thing about winter.
This is Coco looking for an old faded tennis ball that I threw into the snow. You'd think that she would be able to pick up the scent and find it.
This is Coco going pee pee in the snow. Don't eat the yellow stuff.
She is still looking for that darn tennis ball.
This is Coco going number two in the snow. I'm thankful for indoor plumbing.
I don't think she will ever find that tennis ball . . . not until all of this white stuff melts anyway.
This is Coco trying to get some sleep after playing in the snow. I don't think she wants to be bothered.
You can't hear her, but she is snoring right now, and quite loudly. Her lips flop around a lot when she snores. All the snow must have worn her out.
Monday, February 8, 2010
God Is A Quarterback!
Last night, as I watched the Saints march on to victory, I couldn't help but notice how much time Peyton Manning sat on the bench. I believe that was the key factor in the Saints win over the Colts. I like to compare the game of football to the military. Drew Brees and Peyton Manning are the Generals, leading their offensive strikes against their opposition. The Saints did everything that they could to keep the ball in their possession and out of the hands of the Peyton and his army. The more time that Drew Brees had the ball, the more confident he became, and the more points they gained.
Now, what if God is the quarterback and we are His receivers? God is constantly calling plays in our lives. Sometimes, He wants wants us to take the ball and run with it. Sometimes, He wants us to go long and trust that He will get the ball to us. Sometimes, He will even carry the ball Himself and carry us with Him to gain that first down (get us right back to where we need to be).
What does the ball exemplify? What if it is the Holy Spirit that He wants to give to us? As receivers, that is a huge calling. He is trusting us to receive the ball and score with it. When we score, we are filled with joy, excitement, and satisfaction. These are all things that He wants for us.
Is God an active Quarterback, or does He spend more time on the benches of our lives. He surely can't do His job of leading us if we don't give Him the time of possession. I saw frustration on Peyton Manning's face as he just sat there on the bench. I think God gets that look on His face too when we are keeping him on the benches of our lives. He wants to command us and lead us! He wants to play and engage in our lives. He wants us to trust and receive and score. He wants to lead us to victory. And with the Lord, there is ALWAYS victory!
Oh, and it is not a coincidence that the New Orleans SAINTS won.
Peace!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
This One Is Gonna Hurt
I posted my car for sale on facebook at the beginning of this week. This is a tough one for me. I have been fine with trying to sell the house. I have even been fine with giving away a lot of random things on craigslist. But I knew that sooner or later, God would ask me to put my cars on the alter for Him, and this one HURTS. I have been a "car guy" since the day I was conceived. It took me forever to finally get my dream muscle car, and now, after five years of ownership, I find myself offering it up. Lately, I have been reminded of the story of the rich man who was asked to give away all of his possessions in order to follow Jesus. This is in the book of Matthew 19:16-24;
16Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"
17"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."
18"Which ones?" the man inquired.
Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother,'[d] and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'[e]"
20"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"
21Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
22When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
I'm not saying that I am a rich man, I think that we all have our own relative definition of that by American standards. I do have my share of stuff though, especially when it comes to toys. I haven't really felt that I have worshipped them, not over God anyway. I just like stuff. I have always loved God more. So why does this feel like it's going to hurt? Why do I feel like I have to prove my love for Him by giving up my things? A good friend once shared with me, that God isn't interested in our stuff. He's interested in our hearts. How have I used my stuff to honor God? Truth is, I haven't really used my car to honor God. It's just a me thing.
A mechanism for me to get away and vent. I think the danger that lies in it, is prideful ownership. If I am proud of my material possessions, then that puts a divider between the Lord and me. He wants what is best for me, but He hates selfish pride. I am proud of my cars. Especially my Mustang. I made it what it is. I took something great and made it better. I put a lot of my time, energy and money into it. The one thing that I seem to keep forgetting is, that it is a gift. A gift from God. After all, doesn't everything ultimately belong to Him?
I purchased the car as a slightly modified Mustang GT. Here is a list of everything that I have done (or was done by someone else) to the car to convert it into a 1999 SALEEN Replica:
SALEEN front fascia
SALEEN side skirts
SALEEN rear bumper cover
SALEEN sail panels
SALEEN rear deck wing
SALEEN side vents
SALEEN badges and decals
New chrome yellow paint in 2007
SALEEN 2" lowering springs
Tinted headlights
Tinted windows
BBK 75mm throttle body
BBK underdrive pulleys
K&N cold air intake with filter
SCT Xcalibrator tuner
New alternator
New Duralast yellow top battery
Bassani X-pipe exhaust
Flowmaster 2 chamber mufflers
STEEDA short throw tri-ax shifter
3:73 rear gears
Y2K Cobra R rims (blacked out)
New brakes in 2006
SALEEN race pedals
SALEEN floor mats
Phantom monster tachometer
Brushed aluminum interior dress up kit
Like I said, I put a lot of everything into this machine. I am just praying that God makes this as painless as possible. Deep down I don't want to get rid of it,... but I will if it brings me closer to HIM.
Peace!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Up The River With Humility
Today I received counsel on humility and swimming lessons at the same time. My counselor and I are still digging into some of my control issues, and with them, there is still a great amount of pride and anger that I am carrying around.
First, let me share a paragraph from a book that I am reading called, "Humility"; by C.J. Mahaney.
I've found that it's possible for me to charge into my day motivated by self-sufficiency. But I've also learned that the very act of opening my Bible to read, and turning my heart and mind to prayer makes a statement that I need God. I find great benefit from this understanding, because like you, I have wildly fluctuating emotional experiences from day to day in my devotions. One morning I am profoundly aware that God is near to me, while the next day I can sense only His absence. In a matter of hours I go from what seems to be an effortless experience of pure joy to asking, "Where are You? Where did You go?"
The fact is, of course, He didn't go anywhere. Yesterday He allowed me to sense His presence; today He seems to be sending the message, "I want you to grow more in your trust in Me,; therefore, I am withdrawing that sense of My nearness".
This hit me like a train. That described me to a "T". I am constantly seeking and praising God, and acknowledging when He is present and working in my life. But as soon as He starts to withdrawal, I start freaking out. For example; the past few weeks have had their share of spiritual highs for me, but then that worry about not selling this house and going into possible foreclosure starts to sneak in. Immediately, I lose my trust and faith, and cry out "Where are You God? When are You going to free us from this?"
Back to the swimming lessons. My counselor painted this picture for me. I am in this River (God's Grace), and I am flowing along with the current. What does it look like to stay in that current and remain at His pace? What obstacles in that river do I clean onto for safety? What if I were to try to get out of the water or try to swim upstream? Or, what if I am swimming too fast downstream and getting ahead of God? I know that the current is His calling for me right now. He wants me to go downstream with Him in order to cleanse me and teach me. I don't want to get out of the water right now, so that is not an issue. Nor do I want to swim upstream and go against Him, but I sometimes find myself doing that. I also have items that I am holding onto for safety; such as my material possessions, but He is slowly washing those away. I think my biggest problem is getting ahead of Him. I want to get to the end of the river as fast as possible in order to receive my prize. That is me controlling again. My pride has taught me how to be self-sufficient. How to get it done myself. Although I am in the river, I am soaking in everything that He has for me, but I am not letting it humble me.
The next page in my book, "Humility", shared this:
Where there is worry, where there's anxiousness, pride is at the root of it. When I am experiencing anxiety, the root issue is that I am trying to be self-sufficient. I'm acting independent of God.
What's the solution?
"Humble yourself," God says.
How?
"Acknowledge your need for Me! Cast your cares upon Me, and I will transform you".
So I guess I'll be swimming for a while. The funny thing is that I can't swim at all in real life. I have been wanting to take lessons, but feel that it would be silly for a forty year old man to do such a thing. I have to trust that God won't let me drown. It's kind of like when you are a kid, and your daddy holds you up by your chest and stomach, and skims you across the surface of the water until you get used to how it feels. I never gained that trust with my earthly father. My fear of drowning was too powerful. So now, I am a rock that just sits in the water as it flows around me. Not in God's river though. In His river, I am a leaf that flows gently down the stream.
My goal now is to be humbled; my goal is to get to the end of the river, at His pace. Learning and soaking in everything that He has to teach me along the way.
Peace!
First, let me share a paragraph from a book that I am reading called, "Humility"; by C.J. Mahaney.
I've found that it's possible for me to charge into my day motivated by self-sufficiency. But I've also learned that the very act of opening my Bible to read, and turning my heart and mind to prayer makes a statement that I need God. I find great benefit from this understanding, because like you, I have wildly fluctuating emotional experiences from day to day in my devotions. One morning I am profoundly aware that God is near to me, while the next day I can sense only His absence. In a matter of hours I go from what seems to be an effortless experience of pure joy to asking, "Where are You? Where did You go?"
The fact is, of course, He didn't go anywhere. Yesterday He allowed me to sense His presence; today He seems to be sending the message, "I want you to grow more in your trust in Me,; therefore, I am withdrawing that sense of My nearness".
This hit me like a train. That described me to a "T". I am constantly seeking and praising God, and acknowledging when He is present and working in my life. But as soon as He starts to withdrawal, I start freaking out. For example; the past few weeks have had their share of spiritual highs for me, but then that worry about not selling this house and going into possible foreclosure starts to sneak in. Immediately, I lose my trust and faith, and cry out "Where are You God? When are You going to free us from this?"
Back to the swimming lessons. My counselor painted this picture for me. I am in this River (God's Grace), and I am flowing along with the current. What does it look like to stay in that current and remain at His pace? What obstacles in that river do I clean onto for safety? What if I were to try to get out of the water or try to swim upstream? Or, what if I am swimming too fast downstream and getting ahead of God? I know that the current is His calling for me right now. He wants me to go downstream with Him in order to cleanse me and teach me. I don't want to get out of the water right now, so that is not an issue. Nor do I want to swim upstream and go against Him, but I sometimes find myself doing that. I also have items that I am holding onto for safety; such as my material possessions, but He is slowly washing those away. I think my biggest problem is getting ahead of Him. I want to get to the end of the river as fast as possible in order to receive my prize. That is me controlling again. My pride has taught me how to be self-sufficient. How to get it done myself. Although I am in the river, I am soaking in everything that He has for me, but I am not letting it humble me.
The next page in my book, "Humility", shared this:
Where there is worry, where there's anxiousness, pride is at the root of it. When I am experiencing anxiety, the root issue is that I am trying to be self-sufficient. I'm acting independent of God.
What's the solution?
"Humble yourself," God says.
How?
"Acknowledge your need for Me! Cast your cares upon Me, and I will transform you".
So I guess I'll be swimming for a while. The funny thing is that I can't swim at all in real life. I have been wanting to take lessons, but feel that it would be silly for a forty year old man to do such a thing. I have to trust that God won't let me drown. It's kind of like when you are a kid, and your daddy holds you up by your chest and stomach, and skims you across the surface of the water until you get used to how it feels. I never gained that trust with my earthly father. My fear of drowning was too powerful. So now, I am a rock that just sits in the water as it flows around me. Not in God's river though. In His river, I am a leaf that flows gently down the stream.
My goal now is to be humbled; my goal is to get to the end of the river, at His pace. Learning and soaking in everything that He has to teach me along the way.
Peace!
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