Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Who, What, Why?

Have you ever wondered why a certain person has been introduced to your life and questioned the purpose and timing of the introduction as well?

I met this guy a few months ago, who stumbled into our men's group. I remember asking him to share a little bit of his life story with me, and I remember thinking that he is going through the ringer and how awesome it is that he is walking with God to get through it. I never really questioned my knowing him at the time, but that changed yesterday.

Over the weekend I approached this guy to inquire about his drywall skills for a job that I am doing. He gladly accepted the job and mentioned that he really needed the work. He called me yesterday to ask me if I could drive him to the bank and then to a couple other places because his car is not running. I told him that I could, but it would have to wait until tomorrow. He then asked me if I would like to purchase some tools from him because he is really hurting for money. He mentioned that the electric company is going to shut off his electric this week because he can't afford to pay that bill either. I didn't respond to what he was telling me because I have had bad experiences of being taken advantage of in similar circumstances in the past. I simply said that I would pick him up tomorrow and that I would pray for him as well.

I was driving home from the gym yesterday and I found myself thinking of what he told me and I began to ask God about him. Why do I have a soft spot (or weakness) for this kind of person? Why is he asking me for help? What is the ultimate reason for knowing this person? God, what am I supposed to do? These were some of the questions that were rambling through my mind during my thirty minute drive home.

This morning, I woke with the same questions going through my mind. I had an appointment with my counselor (I am seeking counsel for personal matters) this morning, and this topic came up. I was asked if I am sad about anything, and I used this for my answer. I am sad because this guy is having a rough time, and I want to help him. I know, ultimately, he has to make choices to help himself, but I feel like God put him in my life so I can help him. Why do I know him? How can I help?

We continued through my session and then my counselor asked me if I am confused about anything. The word "DISCIPLE" appeared in my thoughts. What does a modern day disciple look like? And how is that different from a pastor? Am I being called to disciple this guy? Or, is he being called to disciple me? I answered my counselor's question with these questions. We discussed my ability to disciple and the possibility that this guy could learn something from me, and then moved on to the next question. When I left his office this morning, I was still wondering the opposite. Maybe he is supposed to disciple me, but what could I possibly have to learn from him?

About an hour ago, I got my answer. I picked up my friend, as promised, to take him to run his errands. We got to talking and in a matter of minutes, we were sharing some pretty deep stuff with each other. I remember asking him about his kids when I met him a few months back. I remember him telling me how he hasn't spoken with a couple of them since his divorce several years ago. I remembering hearing the hurt in his voice when he shared that with me. I asked him how things were going lately and he immediately broke into tears. With all of his might to pull himself together, he shared a story of some recent time spent with his son who still has a lot of aggression towards him. He said that, as he was dropping his son off after their visit that day, his son hugged him and smiled. He told me that his son was mad at him for all of those years because he was never there for him. Never at a ball game. Never payed attention to him at home. His son felt like he was more of a slave to his dad than a son.

That hug was a break through for them!

As I dropped my friend off today, I drove away asking myself: Do my kids feel like a slave to me? Am I there for them at home? Am I there for them outside of our home? Maybe it's not me asking myself these questions. Maybe it's God asking me through a friend's life example. Maybe I was being discipled. Thank you God, for my new friend and what you are teaching me through him.

Matthew 28:16-20
16Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

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