I am a pride-full person. I have a lot to be proud of. I have a beautiful wife and wonderful kids. I have friends who love me. I have material things that I am proud of. I am a "I did it my way" kind of guy. I was taught as I was growing up, that if you want something done right, then do it yourself. This behavior has led me into self-isolation. With it comes denial. If I am in trouble, rather than asking for help, I have always tried to fix things myself. If I failed, then I protect myself by pointing out other peoples faults and blame my problems on them. I was too proud to recognize my own sins. 1 John 1:9 states: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Not only are we asked to confess our sins to God, but also to ourselves. By doing that, we are recognizing that there is something wrong and we need to seek help.
In my previous blog, I mentioned how I have caused my wife a lot of hurt and now my marriage is now in danger because of my controlling behavior. My wife and I were having another tough conversation last night about some of the damage that I have caused in the past, and I realized how my negative pride got me where I am today. As I sat there last night, I struggled with the question, what is the difference between good pride and bad pride? In other words, what kind of pride does and does not God approve of? A good friend once told me, that selfish pride is the number one thing that separates us from God. A college education, being gifted and creative, a healthy family are all things that we can be proud of, as long as we recognize that they are all gifts from God. A big house, a cool car, and a fat bank account, which are also all gifts from God, are not good things to be proud of.
As I start this new year and allow God to have more control in my life, I also ask that He humbles me. Show me when I am in one of my stubborn proud moments. This is going to be a tough one. There will be times when I say, "God, I can fix this part myself". "Please let me have control of this". "I don't want your help God, 'cause I know it will hurt if I allow you in". There will be times that I will be so stubborn, that I won't even hear Him speaking to me.
I read about a simple formula for humility and I thought I would share it.
If we recognize that:
1. God created this universe, including us, and
2. God shows that He is much more powerful than we are by what He does and has done in our world, and
3. God gives each of us abilities that we cannot supply to ourselves or explain our worthiness of,
Then we are humbled.
This is also my prayer.
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