I will love and honor God better . . .
I will try to resist temptation . . .
I will be still . . .
I will fight for what I believe in . . .
I will pray for God's will . . .
I will lift my hands . . .
I will be a better husband . . .
I will be a better father . . .
I will not judge . . .
I will let go of my control . . .
I will be more compassionate . . .
I will serve more . . .
I will worship Him in all that I do . . .
I will let go . . .
I will . . . because He has called me to do so.
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Acts Of Worship
My good friend Jon Price once said, that "when we sing praise and worship God, it ushers in His Kingdom. Worship sets the tone of our relationship with Him in that moment". That is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever heard in my life.
Jon Price leads the worship team at our church. He is one of the most spirited people that I know. I had the privilege of traveling to Honduras with Jon on a mission trip. Sitting around a campfire beneath the Honduran sky filled with stars, while Jon alone strummed on his guitar and softly sang love songs to God, were some of my favorite moments of that trip.
Worship is defined as: to treat somebody or something as divine and show respect by engaging in acts of prayer and devotion. Worship can take on many forms. It doesn't just have to be singing and lifting praise to Him. It can be two guys talking about God, and what He has done in their lives. It can be a small group of people, going out and serving their community, to show God's love for them in a practical way. It can be a husband and wife sharing a sunset together, and acknowledging Who is responsible for the beauty of it. It can be when my little girl holds my hand at night, as she pours out her heart to God in prayer before I say "good night" to her. Worship can take on so many forms. Anything that we do as an act of respect and acknowledging that God's hand is in it, is a form of worship.
I think one of the most important things about worship, is to make it authentic. Do it wholeheartedly. Don't just do it to do it. We can miss out on a truly moving experience if we deny worship of it's power. One of the things that I have had trouble with in the past, is raising my hands while singing praise to Him in church. I always felt self conscious of it, as if everyone would be starring at me. I remembered when I was beginning my walk with Christ, and how I would study everyone around me; especially during worship. Someone told me, that when we stretch out our arms to Him, our arms act as antennae. It's as if we are reaching up to our Daddy. Wanting to receive Him. Wanting Him to pick us up just so we can be held by Him. I did this for the first time last week. I can't even describe the feeling that it gave me. In one word, it was "Incredible"!
What are some ways that you worship God? When was the first time that you raised your hands in praise to Him, and how did it feel?
Jon Price and Alejandro doing worship together in Honduras
Jon Price leads the worship team at our church. He is one of the most spirited people that I know. I had the privilege of traveling to Honduras with Jon on a mission trip. Sitting around a campfire beneath the Honduran sky filled with stars, while Jon alone strummed on his guitar and softly sang love songs to God, were some of my favorite moments of that trip.
Worship is defined as: to treat somebody or something as divine and show respect by engaging in acts of prayer and devotion. Worship can take on many forms. It doesn't just have to be singing and lifting praise to Him. It can be two guys talking about God, and what He has done in their lives. It can be a small group of people, going out and serving their community, to show God's love for them in a practical way. It can be a husband and wife sharing a sunset together, and acknowledging Who is responsible for the beauty of it. It can be when my little girl holds my hand at night, as she pours out her heart to God in prayer before I say "good night" to her. Worship can take on so many forms. Anything that we do as an act of respect and acknowledging that God's hand is in it, is a form of worship.
I think one of the most important things about worship, is to make it authentic. Do it wholeheartedly. Don't just do it to do it. We can miss out on a truly moving experience if we deny worship of it's power. One of the things that I have had trouble with in the past, is raising my hands while singing praise to Him in church. I always felt self conscious of it, as if everyone would be starring at me. I remembered when I was beginning my walk with Christ, and how I would study everyone around me; especially during worship. Someone told me, that when we stretch out our arms to Him, our arms act as antennae. It's as if we are reaching up to our Daddy. Wanting to receive Him. Wanting Him to pick us up just so we can be held by Him. I did this for the first time last week. I can't even describe the feeling that it gave me. In one word, it was "Incredible"!
What are some ways that you worship God? When was the first time that you raised your hands in praise to Him, and how did it feel?
Jon Price and Alejandro doing worship together in Honduras
Monday, January 25, 2010
At The Gym Again
So, I'm at the gym today and I see Patrick again. I knew that I had to tell him what I heard for him; and I was nervous about doing that. What if he thought that I was some religious freak? What if he thought I was weird? What if he thought I was coming on to him? You never know.
I walked up to him and he greeted me with a firm handshake. I immediately told him what I had to say.
Me: "Hey Patrick, how's it going?"
Patrick: "Good!"
Me: "I was thinking about what you told me last week and I felt compelled to give you some words that I received. I was looking all over for you, but you had already left."
Patrick: "Oh yeah, what's that?"
Me: "Well . . . I remembered what you said about wanting to be successful, and I just felt like I should tell you this. Measure success in not what you do, but how you do it."
Patrick: "WOW Nick! It's funny. I was having the same conversation with somebody else that day, and he replied with those same words."
Me: "That's pretty cool man. I also wanted to say, from my own experience, to just do something that you love doing and you will be successful."
Patrick: (Here's where he shocked me) "I'll have to pray about that one."
Me: "Did you say pray? Are You Christian?"
Patrick: "Yeah,...I'm Catholic/Christian...but I go to the Vineyard."
Me: "The Vineyard? Which one?"
Patrick: "The one up in Springdale."
Me: "Huh. Did you know that there is a Vineyard here on the west side?"
He told me that he had heard that there is one over here, but did not know where it was. I told him the location and he said that he lived right around the corner from it. He seemed pretty surprised when I told him about it. He told me that he hadn't been up to the one in Springdale for a couple of months because of selfish reasons. I told him that was o.k., and then I invited him to come check us out.
I'm not one to claim the gift of prophecy, but I totally loved that God gave those words to me to relay to Patrick. Maybe it was God saying "I miss you Patrick". Maybe He just thought that we should officially meet each other. I don't know. That was the first time that something like that ever happened to me. I take that back; that was the first time that I actually responded and acted on what God asked me to do in one of those situations.
Now I'm hoping that He will give me more words to pass on to someone. Now, I'm hoping that I see my brother Patrick at church some day soon. What a small Kingdom it is.
Peace!
I walked up to him and he greeted me with a firm handshake. I immediately told him what I had to say.
Me: "Hey Patrick, how's it going?"
Patrick: "Good!"
Me: "I was thinking about what you told me last week and I felt compelled to give you some words that I received. I was looking all over for you, but you had already left."
Patrick: "Oh yeah, what's that?"
Me: "Well . . . I remembered what you said about wanting to be successful, and I just felt like I should tell you this. Measure success in not what you do, but how you do it."
Patrick: "WOW Nick! It's funny. I was having the same conversation with somebody else that day, and he replied with those same words."
Me: "That's pretty cool man. I also wanted to say, from my own experience, to just do something that you love doing and you will be successful."
Patrick: (Here's where he shocked me) "I'll have to pray about that one."
Me: "Did you say pray? Are You Christian?"
Patrick: "Yeah,...I'm Catholic/Christian...but I go to the Vineyard."
Me: "The Vineyard? Which one?"
Patrick: "The one up in Springdale."
Me: "Huh. Did you know that there is a Vineyard here on the west side?"
He told me that he had heard that there is one over here, but did not know where it was. I told him the location and he said that he lived right around the corner from it. He seemed pretty surprised when I told him about it. He told me that he hadn't been up to the one in Springdale for a couple of months because of selfish reasons. I told him that was o.k., and then I invited him to come check us out.
I'm not one to claim the gift of prophecy, but I totally loved that God gave those words to me to relay to Patrick. Maybe it was God saying "I miss you Patrick". Maybe He just thought that we should officially meet each other. I don't know. That was the first time that something like that ever happened to me. I take that back; that was the first time that I actually responded and acted on what God asked me to do in one of those situations.
Now I'm hoping that He will give me more words to pass on to someone. Now, I'm hoping that I see my brother Patrick at church some day soon. What a small Kingdom it is.
Peace!
Friday, January 22, 2010
At The Gym
I was at the gym the other day, and one of the guys I recently spotted (for those of you who don't know gym terms; 'spot' means to encourage someone while exercising and help them if they get stuck) waved to me from across the gym. I love meeting people in the gym, but I also struggle with it as well.
The gym is one of the most secular, self-focused, sex driven, and dangerous places that I know of. I have been working out in a gym for over twenty years now. In the past, I exercised mainly to look good. Now, I'm just trying to stay in shape. I used to not mind all of the half naked ladies walking around, and all of the vulgar language from the guys when they saw one. Heck, I even used to participate in those conversations. These days, it really gets under my skin. I guess that shows my age.
Back to my topic of meeting people. Patrick is the guy who waved at me from across the gym. He seemed anxious to come over to talk to me, so I engaged in a conversation with him. The first thing that he said is "Man, I still can't believe you are 40". Which is the last thing he said the other day when I spotted him. I actually get that a lot from people at the gym. I asked him a little about himself and he told me a little bit. Patrick is 28. He spent most of his life partying. He works at a CiCi's Pizza place that his older brother owns. He wants to stop partying and start taking his life seriously. He also said that he just wants to be successful at something. I shared a little about myself as well, and then we parted ways.
As I was leaving the gym that day, I heard the words "Measure success not by what you do, but how you do it". I wanted to find Patrick and give him those words. I felt that I was supposed to. I also wanted to tell him that he should find the one thing that he really enjoys, and pursue it. That one is from my own experience. I looked for him, but he had already left. I really wish that I could have found him. Now that I'm carrying that around in my head, I know that I will either forget, or procrastinate when I do see him.
I don't want to scare the guy off either. I'm trying really hard to meet people outside of the comfort zone of my Christian friends. How did Jesus do it? How did He reach so many people without saying something over religious and scaring them off? I know a lot of people at my gym. A lot of them seem pretty banged up by this world. It's funny . . . the gym is probably the only place that I don't get on my soap box and start preaching. It's hard not to judge a lot of those guys, but for the most part, I like them for who they are. I do want to share my story with them, but I don't; unless they ask.
I often think of the saying "We are the salt and the light in this world". Maybe the gym is where I feel comfortable with who I am and there is something about me that is drawing people to me. Maybe I am a light in that place. If I am, I don't want to screw that up. That is a huge and awesome blessing.
I am constantly lifting those brothers up in prayer. They are on the front lines of spiritual battles, and half of them don't even know it. My hope and prayer, is that I don't say or do something stupid. I pray that the ones who do not know God, find Him soon. I hope that they get out of the earthly things that bind and shackle them.
I hope that I get a chance to meet someone new each week. For I too, have something to learn from them.
The gym is one of the most secular, self-focused, sex driven, and dangerous places that I know of. I have been working out in a gym for over twenty years now. In the past, I exercised mainly to look good. Now, I'm just trying to stay in shape. I used to not mind all of the half naked ladies walking around, and all of the vulgar language from the guys when they saw one. Heck, I even used to participate in those conversations. These days, it really gets under my skin. I guess that shows my age.
Back to my topic of meeting people. Patrick is the guy who waved at me from across the gym. He seemed anxious to come over to talk to me, so I engaged in a conversation with him. The first thing that he said is "Man, I still can't believe you are 40". Which is the last thing he said the other day when I spotted him. I actually get that a lot from people at the gym. I asked him a little about himself and he told me a little bit. Patrick is 28. He spent most of his life partying. He works at a CiCi's Pizza place that his older brother owns. He wants to stop partying and start taking his life seriously. He also said that he just wants to be successful at something. I shared a little about myself as well, and then we parted ways.
As I was leaving the gym that day, I heard the words "Measure success not by what you do, but how you do it". I wanted to find Patrick and give him those words. I felt that I was supposed to. I also wanted to tell him that he should find the one thing that he really enjoys, and pursue it. That one is from my own experience. I looked for him, but he had already left. I really wish that I could have found him. Now that I'm carrying that around in my head, I know that I will either forget, or procrastinate when I do see him.
I don't want to scare the guy off either. I'm trying really hard to meet people outside of the comfort zone of my Christian friends. How did Jesus do it? How did He reach so many people without saying something over religious and scaring them off? I know a lot of people at my gym. A lot of them seem pretty banged up by this world. It's funny . . . the gym is probably the only place that I don't get on my soap box and start preaching. It's hard not to judge a lot of those guys, but for the most part, I like them for who they are. I do want to share my story with them, but I don't; unless they ask.
I often think of the saying "We are the salt and the light in this world". Maybe the gym is where I feel comfortable with who I am and there is something about me that is drawing people to me. Maybe I am a light in that place. If I am, I don't want to screw that up. That is a huge and awesome blessing.
I am constantly lifting those brothers up in prayer. They are on the front lines of spiritual battles, and half of them don't even know it. My hope and prayer, is that I don't say or do something stupid. I pray that the ones who do not know God, find Him soon. I hope that they get out of the earthly things that bind and shackle them.
I hope that I get a chance to meet someone new each week. For I too, have something to learn from them.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Offer 1 and Offer 2
What an eventful week this has been. Last Sunday I received a call from our Realtor's office asking if we could show the house Monday morning. Of course, I said yes because I don't want to turn away any opportunities to sell. The showing was scheduled for ten o'clock in the morning. That meant a lot of cleaning, again, in a very little amount of time.
I was already stressed out and a little overwhelmed due to the fact that I just dropped Ann off at the airport the day before (Saturday). She is overseas on a business trip in Geneva.
So, Monday came, as it always does and I was up and out of here by 9:30. I didn't hear anything until that evening. The office called and informed me that the couple that looked at the house was prepared to write up an offer. The one thing that I didn't mention here, is that the same couple looked at our house on the previous Friday. At that time, they told their Realtor that they would offer $350k for our house. That's $200k less than asking price.
On Tuesday evening, we received not only one offer, but an additional one as well. The couple that said that they would pay $350k came in at $380k. The other offer was for $425. Both of which are way off of the mark. Just an example of what kind of market we are in.
I can't explain how relieved I am that we are finally getting some action. I guess low offers are better than no offers. We will counter with our asking price and just wait to see what happens. Maybe one of them will get serious and by this thing.
I was already stressed out and a little overwhelmed due to the fact that I just dropped Ann off at the airport the day before (Saturday). She is overseas on a business trip in Geneva.
So, Monday came, as it always does and I was up and out of here by 9:30. I didn't hear anything until that evening. The office called and informed me that the couple that looked at the house was prepared to write up an offer. The one thing that I didn't mention here, is that the same couple looked at our house on the previous Friday. At that time, they told their Realtor that they would offer $350k for our house. That's $200k less than asking price.
On Tuesday evening, we received not only one offer, but an additional one as well. The couple that said that they would pay $350k came in at $380k. The other offer was for $425. Both of which are way off of the mark. Just an example of what kind of market we are in.
I can't explain how relieved I am that we are finally getting some action. I guess low offers are better than no offers. We will counter with our asking price and just wait to see what happens. Maybe one of them will get serious and by this thing.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Is That Guy Still Alive?
I was driving down the road the other day, and my five year started to ask me questions about things from when I was a kid. Favorite cartoon characters, favorite cars, favorite actors, etc... I forget who I mentioned, but Anthony asked me, "Is that guy still alive"?
He asks me that question a lot.
What does he think about death?
I remember thinking about death when I was a little kid. Not a five year old kid, maybe ten or twelve. I remember that it scared me.
I began to wonder, what is going through his mind when he questions "life"?
I remember thinking, "When I die, that's it, no more me".
Of course, then I always struggled with the idea of being immortal as well. How boring would that be, to be stuck around here forever?
I guess the only way that I'm going to find out what he thinks about death is, to ask him.
I'm sure I would get a goofy answer; . . . Did I mention that he is five?
He asks me that question a lot.
What does he think about death?
I remember thinking about death when I was a little kid. Not a five year old kid, maybe ten or twelve. I remember that it scared me.
I began to wonder, what is going through his mind when he questions "life"?
I remember thinking, "When I die, that's it, no more me".
Of course, then I always struggled with the idea of being immortal as well. How boring would that be, to be stuck around here forever?
I guess the only way that I'm going to find out what he thinks about death is, to ask him.
I'm sure I would get a goofy answer; . . . Did I mention that he is five?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Haiti
A picture is worth a thousand words!
Father, I lift up the people of Haiti. I thank You for Your love and compassion for them. I thank You for the lives saved. I thank You for efforts made by Your sons and daughters that volunteer their time and efforts to help in these times of need. God, may Your spirit pour over the nation of Haiti. May chains and bonds be broken. May those who have not known You, find You now. God, You are awesome! In Jesus, this is my prayer.
Please check out the link to find out how you can help. www.compassion.com
Father, I lift up the people of Haiti. I thank You for Your love and compassion for them. I thank You for the lives saved. I thank You for efforts made by Your sons and daughters that volunteer their time and efforts to help in these times of need. God, may Your spirit pour over the nation of Haiti. May chains and bonds be broken. May those who have not known You, find You now. God, You are awesome! In Jesus, this is my prayer.
Please check out the link to find out how you can help. www.compassion.com
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Guilty Of Road Rage
What can I say about rage? It is the work of the enemy. It is a state of mind that will take your focus off of God, and the work that He is doing in your life.
If it were not by the Grace of God, I would be in jail right now. Let me explain. This morning I gave in to my anger and allowed rage to intervene. I purposely ran someone off of the road after they cut me off. That is one count of vehicular assault, and is punishable by arrest and a large fine. For some reason, the guy chose not to press charges and he let me go. The end result, I was ticketed for improper lane change and wreck-less operation.
Allow me to go even deeper. Ten years ago, this was normal behavior for me. I was a road-rage-aholic. I have tried so hard over the years, to identify this rage, and to not react with it in confrontation. I believe the power of prayer was my main remedy for not having road rage over the last several years. I also believe in spiritual warfare, and if satan can't get to you one way, he will keep trying until he does. Today, that button was pushed. Honestly, I have felt it creeping up on me for the past couple of months. I once blogged about my struggle with pornography. I have felt that temptation the past couple of days. I did not give in. Then this happens. I feel blindsided. I thought that I had the road rage thing under control for good, to the point that I completely denied it, but I guess I was wrong. None the less, it is no excuse for my behavior. Everybody has a choice to make. I should have chosen to let this guy go; God expected that of me.
No damage was done to my vehicle, and the other guys car got a dent and a broken mirror. I was not hurt, not physically anyway. The other guy reported that he bumped his head and broke his thumb. The only thing he said to me was that he is going to sue me. I don't know how that will play out, and that is already creating a lot of worry and stress in me.
I am very upset with myself right now. I don't like who I was today. I know that God has forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself right now. I am struggling so hard with posting this blog, because I am fearing that everyone will judge me. As if I don't deserve it anyway.
While I was waiting for the police officer to file his report, I picked up my Bible and started to read. I don't remember exactly what scripture that I was reading because I was very disoriented and confused. So I started to pray for forgiveness. Maybe God heard this, and spoke to the other guys heart and convinced him to let me go. At the end of all of it, I began to drive away, but had to stop because I was very upset. I pulled into a parking lot and sat there, and I began to pray again. I don't know if this was a sign, but a white dove (or pigeon) began to hover around my car. I think it was God watching over me. How many single white birds fly around in Cincinnati? Whatever it was, it comforted me.
I just want to say to all who truly know me, that I am sorry. And please forgive me if I am quiet over the next couple of days. I will try not to isolate myself, or get too depressed, but I just need some time to evaluate this. I need some time alone with my Father. Again, I am sorry.
If it were not by the Grace of God, I would be in jail right now. Let me explain. This morning I gave in to my anger and allowed rage to intervene. I purposely ran someone off of the road after they cut me off. That is one count of vehicular assault, and is punishable by arrest and a large fine. For some reason, the guy chose not to press charges and he let me go. The end result, I was ticketed for improper lane change and wreck-less operation.
Allow me to go even deeper. Ten years ago, this was normal behavior for me. I was a road-rage-aholic. I have tried so hard over the years, to identify this rage, and to not react with it in confrontation. I believe the power of prayer was my main remedy for not having road rage over the last several years. I also believe in spiritual warfare, and if satan can't get to you one way, he will keep trying until he does. Today, that button was pushed. Honestly, I have felt it creeping up on me for the past couple of months. I once blogged about my struggle with pornography. I have felt that temptation the past couple of days. I did not give in. Then this happens. I feel blindsided. I thought that I had the road rage thing under control for good, to the point that I completely denied it, but I guess I was wrong. None the less, it is no excuse for my behavior. Everybody has a choice to make. I should have chosen to let this guy go; God expected that of me.
No damage was done to my vehicle, and the other guys car got a dent and a broken mirror. I was not hurt, not physically anyway. The other guy reported that he bumped his head and broke his thumb. The only thing he said to me was that he is going to sue me. I don't know how that will play out, and that is already creating a lot of worry and stress in me.
I am very upset with myself right now. I don't like who I was today. I know that God has forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself right now. I am struggling so hard with posting this blog, because I am fearing that everyone will judge me. As if I don't deserve it anyway.
While I was waiting for the police officer to file his report, I picked up my Bible and started to read. I don't remember exactly what scripture that I was reading because I was very disoriented and confused. So I started to pray for forgiveness. Maybe God heard this, and spoke to the other guys heart and convinced him to let me go. At the end of all of it, I began to drive away, but had to stop because I was very upset. I pulled into a parking lot and sat there, and I began to pray again. I don't know if this was a sign, but a white dove (or pigeon) began to hover around my car. I think it was God watching over me. How many single white birds fly around in Cincinnati? Whatever it was, it comforted me.
I just want to say to all who truly know me, that I am sorry. And please forgive me if I am quiet over the next couple of days. I will try not to isolate myself, or get too depressed, but I just need some time to evaluate this. I need some time alone with my Father. Again, I am sorry.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Tuning In
While reading my book "Primal", by Mark Batterson, I came across a paragraph where Mark explained why it is so important to read the Word every day. He quotes:
"Until you hear the voice of God, you won't be able to sing His song. Why? Because you're out of tune. That's how we get stuck in sinful habits and negative cycles and destructive patterns. But when you open the Bible and really hear the voice of God - His loving voice, His graceful voice, His powerful voice, His convicting voice, His affirming voice, His authoritative voice - your life begins to echo God's. Your life becomes a joyful noise. Your life begins to harmonize with the Holy Spirit."
I read about an opera singer who could not hit notes in a certain octave even though they were within his vocal range. His coaches could not figure why he couldn't hit these notes. After some testing, the coaches discovered that it wasn't his singing capabilities that were at fault; it was his hearing. The opera singer could not hear the notes, therefor he could not sing them. The problem wasn't singing. The problem was hearing.
This is the same with how I hear, or don't hear God. If I am not making an effort to get into the Word everyday, then I find myself in a place where I am not hearing His voice. I am out of tune. I have had a lot of those dry spells since I became a follower.
I want to be in harmony with Him. I want to be able to sing His song. So, even though it is already the tenth of January, I am making a resolution to read the Bible every day. The entire Bible in one year. I have never read the Bible from cover to cover. I get bored with all of the numbers and listing of names. But I have always heard Him speak to me in my random readings. I have always learned something about myself after being in the Word.
I will close with an old saying; "It's not how you read the Bible, it's how the Bible reads you".
"Until you hear the voice of God, you won't be able to sing His song. Why? Because you're out of tune. That's how we get stuck in sinful habits and negative cycles and destructive patterns. But when you open the Bible and really hear the voice of God - His loving voice, His graceful voice, His powerful voice, His convicting voice, His affirming voice, His authoritative voice - your life begins to echo God's. Your life becomes a joyful noise. Your life begins to harmonize with the Holy Spirit."
I read about an opera singer who could not hit notes in a certain octave even though they were within his vocal range. His coaches could not figure why he couldn't hit these notes. After some testing, the coaches discovered that it wasn't his singing capabilities that were at fault; it was his hearing. The opera singer could not hear the notes, therefor he could not sing them. The problem wasn't singing. The problem was hearing.
This is the same with how I hear, or don't hear God. If I am not making an effort to get into the Word everyday, then I find myself in a place where I am not hearing His voice. I am out of tune. I have had a lot of those dry spells since I became a follower.
I want to be in harmony with Him. I want to be able to sing His song. So, even though it is already the tenth of January, I am making a resolution to read the Bible every day. The entire Bible in one year. I have never read the Bible from cover to cover. I get bored with all of the numbers and listing of names. But I have always heard Him speak to me in my random readings. I have always learned something about myself after being in the Word.
I will close with an old saying; "It's not how you read the Bible, it's how the Bible reads you".
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A Time For Everything
I have received comments on some of my recent posts with suggestions that "I should lighten up a little". Or, "Nick, you just need to have fun and enjoy life". As I believe these comments are true, and I know my friends just want the best for me; I also believe that there is a time for everything. This is my season for reflection and growth. This is my opportunity to go deeper and discover who I am. I believe that we all have to go through these seasons. If we don't, we are cheating ourselves out of something amazing. I do like to have fun but I choose not to if it doesn't glorify God.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
This is my time. I have a lot to put on the Alter here. My selfishness and controlling behavior has been exposed. My pride needs to be checked. My material possessions need to be offered up. My marriage is at stake and so are the futures of my children. The stand I make now will determine our future. I would be a fool to deny this season that I am in. My only Hope is to accept it and to hold on to Jesus, because it's going to be a wild ride. All for the cause of Christ.
Peace!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
This is my time. I have a lot to put on the Alter here. My selfishness and controlling behavior has been exposed. My pride needs to be checked. My material possessions need to be offered up. My marriage is at stake and so are the futures of my children. The stand I make now will determine our future. I would be a fool to deny this season that I am in. My only Hope is to accept it and to hold on to Jesus, because it's going to be a wild ride. All for the cause of Christ.
Peace!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Material Possesions
I stumbled across this in a book that I'm reading:
"If you really want to know how I'm doing spiritually, all you need to do is look at my checkbook. It doesn't lie. It reveals my priorities. It reveals my passions. And it doesn't just reveal how I'm doing financially; it reveals how I'm doing spiritually. It's one of the best barometers of spiritual maturity that I know of. Don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not reducing compassion to a financial transaction. I think generosity has as much to do with time and energy as it does with money. But sometimes love is measured in dollars". The Author's name is Mark Batterson, and the book is "PRIMAL".
I have already talked about how we have been trying to sell our house since I returned from my mission to Honduras. For the past couple of months, I have been raiding every room trying to find stuff that we have accumulated that we don't use any longer. I have been giving stuff away, throwing stuff away and trying to sell items with higher value. It has been a daunting task.
Then I read this and it hits me. What does my checkbook reveal about me? It certainly shows how I have ceased to tithe. I want to give, but it just hasn't been happening. Our church even tells us that if we aren't going to give joyfully, then don't give. I have been using that as my excuse. As I look at my checkbook, I see half of our income going towards our ridiculous mortgage payment. A chunk goes to utilities. A portion goes into my new car payments. Then there's life insurance, gym memberships, eating out expenses, so on and so on. None of which any of this is being used to glorify God.
My priorities have all been self-centered and my evident passions are not HIS. The conviction to sell my Mustang has been weighing a lot on me lately. I only drive it during the summer, and even then the times are few and far in-between. This is one of those areas that I feel God chiseling into and it hurts. Cars are my passion. I don't want to lose my passion for them, so I find myself saying "Not this God. Please let me have this". I know that the money that I make from selling my car could greatly benefit the Kingdom of Heaven. It could build two or three homes in Honduras. It could go towards our building fund at church. It could be spent on a lot of things that would be a blessing to someone that is less fortunate. Yet, I hold on to it, with a grip so tight that my knuckles are white.
I am praying hard on this one. I am asking God to will me to let it go. This is part of my transformation of becoming the man that He designed me to be. So far, I have blogged about revelation and resolutions, how my marriage is damaged, and how much material "crap" I have to get rid of; and this is only my third blog of this new year. This is going to be a long, tough year. But I am up for the challenge. I have my eyes set on the Prize, and He is so worth it.
"If you really want to know how I'm doing spiritually, all you need to do is look at my checkbook. It doesn't lie. It reveals my priorities. It reveals my passions. And it doesn't just reveal how I'm doing financially; it reveals how I'm doing spiritually. It's one of the best barometers of spiritual maturity that I know of. Don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not reducing compassion to a financial transaction. I think generosity has as much to do with time and energy as it does with money. But sometimes love is measured in dollars". The Author's name is Mark Batterson, and the book is "PRIMAL".
I have already talked about how we have been trying to sell our house since I returned from my mission to Honduras. For the past couple of months, I have been raiding every room trying to find stuff that we have accumulated that we don't use any longer. I have been giving stuff away, throwing stuff away and trying to sell items with higher value. It has been a daunting task.
Then I read this and it hits me. What does my checkbook reveal about me? It certainly shows how I have ceased to tithe. I want to give, but it just hasn't been happening. Our church even tells us that if we aren't going to give joyfully, then don't give. I have been using that as my excuse. As I look at my checkbook, I see half of our income going towards our ridiculous mortgage payment. A chunk goes to utilities. A portion goes into my new car payments. Then there's life insurance, gym memberships, eating out expenses, so on and so on. None of which any of this is being used to glorify God.
My priorities have all been self-centered and my evident passions are not HIS. The conviction to sell my Mustang has been weighing a lot on me lately. I only drive it during the summer, and even then the times are few and far in-between. This is one of those areas that I feel God chiseling into and it hurts. Cars are my passion. I don't want to lose my passion for them, so I find myself saying "Not this God. Please let me have this". I know that the money that I make from selling my car could greatly benefit the Kingdom of Heaven. It could build two or three homes in Honduras. It could go towards our building fund at church. It could be spent on a lot of things that would be a blessing to someone that is less fortunate. Yet, I hold on to it, with a grip so tight that my knuckles are white.
I am praying hard on this one. I am asking God to will me to let it go. This is part of my transformation of becoming the man that He designed me to be. So far, I have blogged about revelation and resolutions, how my marriage is damaged, and how much material "crap" I have to get rid of; and this is only my third blog of this new year. This is going to be a long, tough year. But I am up for the challenge. I have my eyes set on the Prize, and He is so worth it.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Too Proud
Definition of Pride: 1 : the quality or state of being proud: as a : inordinate self-esteem : conceit b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship .
I am a pride-full person. I have a lot to be proud of. I have a beautiful wife and wonderful kids. I have friends who love me. I have material things that I am proud of. I am a "I did it my way" kind of guy. I was taught as I was growing up, that if you want something done right, then do it yourself. This behavior has led me into self-isolation. With it comes denial. If I am in trouble, rather than asking for help, I have always tried to fix things myself. If I failed, then I protect myself by pointing out other peoples faults and blame my problems on them. I was too proud to recognize my own sins. 1 John 1:9 states: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Not only are we asked to confess our sins to God, but also to ourselves. By doing that, we are recognizing that there is something wrong and we need to seek help.
In my previous blog, I mentioned how I have caused my wife a lot of hurt and now my marriage is now in danger because of my controlling behavior. My wife and I were having another tough conversation last night about some of the damage that I have caused in the past, and I realized how my negative pride got me where I am today. As I sat there last night, I struggled with the question, what is the difference between good pride and bad pride? In other words, what kind of pride does and does not God approve of? A good friend once told me, that selfish pride is the number one thing that separates us from God. A college education, being gifted and creative, a healthy family are all things that we can be proud of, as long as we recognize that they are all gifts from God. A big house, a cool car, and a fat bank account, which are also all gifts from God, are not good things to be proud of.
As I start this new year and allow God to have more control in my life, I also ask that He humbles me. Show me when I am in one of my stubborn proud moments. This is going to be a tough one. There will be times when I say, "God, I can fix this part myself". "Please let me have control of this". "I don't want your help God, 'cause I know it will hurt if I allow you in". There will be times that I will be so stubborn, that I won't even hear Him speaking to me.
I read about a simple formula for humility and I thought I would share it.
If we recognize that:
1. God created this universe, including us, and
2. God shows that He is much more powerful than we are by what He does and has done in our world, and
3. God gives each of us abilities that we cannot supply to ourselves or explain our worthiness of,
Then we are humbled.
This is also my prayer.
I am a pride-full person. I have a lot to be proud of. I have a beautiful wife and wonderful kids. I have friends who love me. I have material things that I am proud of. I am a "I did it my way" kind of guy. I was taught as I was growing up, that if you want something done right, then do it yourself. This behavior has led me into self-isolation. With it comes denial. If I am in trouble, rather than asking for help, I have always tried to fix things myself. If I failed, then I protect myself by pointing out other peoples faults and blame my problems on them. I was too proud to recognize my own sins. 1 John 1:9 states: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Not only are we asked to confess our sins to God, but also to ourselves. By doing that, we are recognizing that there is something wrong and we need to seek help.
In my previous blog, I mentioned how I have caused my wife a lot of hurt and now my marriage is now in danger because of my controlling behavior. My wife and I were having another tough conversation last night about some of the damage that I have caused in the past, and I realized how my negative pride got me where I am today. As I sat there last night, I struggled with the question, what is the difference between good pride and bad pride? In other words, what kind of pride does and does not God approve of? A good friend once told me, that selfish pride is the number one thing that separates us from God. A college education, being gifted and creative, a healthy family are all things that we can be proud of, as long as we recognize that they are all gifts from God. A big house, a cool car, and a fat bank account, which are also all gifts from God, are not good things to be proud of.
As I start this new year and allow God to have more control in my life, I also ask that He humbles me. Show me when I am in one of my stubborn proud moments. This is going to be a tough one. There will be times when I say, "God, I can fix this part myself". "Please let me have control of this". "I don't want your help God, 'cause I know it will hurt if I allow you in". There will be times that I will be so stubborn, that I won't even hear Him speaking to me.
I read about a simple formula for humility and I thought I would share it.
If we recognize that:
1. God created this universe, including us, and
2. God shows that He is much more powerful than we are by what He does and has done in our world, and
3. God gives each of us abilities that we cannot supply to ourselves or explain our worthiness of,
Then we are humbled.
This is also my prayer.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Revelation & Resolution
The thought of a fresh start is actually appealing to me. I'm not one to celebrate the new year, it's usually just another day to me. But this year, it's different. I am so glad that 2009 is over. What I thought was a pretty good year ended in a train wreck.
I have been going through this painful process of self evaluation and I have also been receiving professional counseling to help me sort through some my issues. There are two big constants in my life that have done a lot of damage to me; control and pride. I have blogged about both, and thought that I have been doing a pretty good job of letting go of both. This is so hard to write about and share as well. I have been told that I am transparent, so I'm just going to put this out there to allow myself to be judged, or to be held accountable.
I am one of those guys who thought everything is fine in my life. I thought that I was being a good dad. I thought that I had a pretty good relationship with my wife. I thought that, since I am a believer (in God), He would take care of everything and everything was going to be fine. On the eve of Thanksgiving, that all came to an end. My wife and I had an argument that revealed a lot of damage that I have done. I'm not going to go into any details of that damage because it's personal to me and my wife. I will say that I have been hurting her for years and I didn't even realize it. I have turned her off and denied her when just needed someone to talk to. I have criticized and ridiculed her appearance. I have given her my suggestions as to how she should fix her life. If none of this is controlling or prideful, then what is?
So, I am laying there alone on my bed on that Thanksgiving eve, giving God a piece of my mind. Asking Him to reveal what the heck I did that was so wrong. I hear Him say "Get counseling", but in my pride I say that I'm not the one who needs help. I hear it again "Get counseling". I don't even know what I am supposed to request counsel for. After hearing it for a third time, I get up and send a message to counselor to set up a date. I have been seeing him now for two months, and already I am . . . , well, there are a lot of words that describe how I am. One is, ashamed. I am ashamed at who I have become. I am ashamed at the hurt that I have caused people. I am sorry!
Ephesians 5:25-30 says: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds it and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of His body. This verse has stood out to me so clearly over the past couple of weeks. I have not been loving my wife unconditionally. I have not been loving her the way that Christ loves church. I have put limits and conditions on what I give or receive. I have failed to be the man that I promised to be when we said our vows.
On this day, the first of 2010, I am committing to continue receiving counsel. I am allowing God to tap in and remove the control and pride, and it hurts. I am vowing to love my wife unconditionally. I am seeking God's wisdom in every aspect of my life. I am going to fall short, and say and do stupid things, but I am requesting that God convicts me immediately. I don't know how long this process will last, but hopefully, at the end of this year I can say that it has been a good year. Hopefully, at the end of 2010, my bride of fifteen years will still be with me; and she will feel loved.
I have been going through this painful process of self evaluation and I have also been receiving professional counseling to help me sort through some my issues. There are two big constants in my life that have done a lot of damage to me; control and pride. I have blogged about both, and thought that I have been doing a pretty good job of letting go of both. This is so hard to write about and share as well. I have been told that I am transparent, so I'm just going to put this out there to allow myself to be judged, or to be held accountable.
I am one of those guys who thought everything is fine in my life. I thought that I was being a good dad. I thought that I had a pretty good relationship with my wife. I thought that, since I am a believer (in God), He would take care of everything and everything was going to be fine. On the eve of Thanksgiving, that all came to an end. My wife and I had an argument that revealed a lot of damage that I have done. I'm not going to go into any details of that damage because it's personal to me and my wife. I will say that I have been hurting her for years and I didn't even realize it. I have turned her off and denied her when just needed someone to talk to. I have criticized and ridiculed her appearance. I have given her my suggestions as to how she should fix her life. If none of this is controlling or prideful, then what is?
So, I am laying there alone on my bed on that Thanksgiving eve, giving God a piece of my mind. Asking Him to reveal what the heck I did that was so wrong. I hear Him say "Get counseling", but in my pride I say that I'm not the one who needs help. I hear it again "Get counseling". I don't even know what I am supposed to request counsel for. After hearing it for a third time, I get up and send a message to counselor to set up a date. I have been seeing him now for two months, and already I am . . . , well, there are a lot of words that describe how I am. One is, ashamed. I am ashamed at who I have become. I am ashamed at the hurt that I have caused people. I am sorry!
Ephesians 5:25-30 says: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds it and cares for it, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of His body. This verse has stood out to me so clearly over the past couple of weeks. I have not been loving my wife unconditionally. I have not been loving her the way that Christ loves church. I have put limits and conditions on what I give or receive. I have failed to be the man that I promised to be when we said our vows.
On this day, the first of 2010, I am committing to continue receiving counsel. I am allowing God to tap in and remove the control and pride, and it hurts. I am vowing to love my wife unconditionally. I am seeking God's wisdom in every aspect of my life. I am going to fall short, and say and do stupid things, but I am requesting that God convicts me immediately. I don't know how long this process will last, but hopefully, at the end of this year I can say that it has been a good year. Hopefully, at the end of 2010, my bride of fifteen years will still be with me; and she will feel loved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)