Hungry for Answers

So yesterday I completed a 24 hour fast from food. I'd like to say that it was easy, but that would be a false statement. I kept a log of my day but will only post my key thoughts. The postings start at 7:00am yesterday morning, but by then I will have not eaten for 12 hours already.

7:00am - Decided to fast this morning.
8:30am - Usually have my first meal by now which includes 100 grams of protein.
9:00am - I am tempted to eat a single grape.
9:35am - I listened to Casting Crowns (Christian Alternative Band) and worshiped while I was driving. I felt an incredible sense of brokenness.
11:30am - Usually have my second meal by now and my stomach is starting to growl.
12:18pm - Right now I am just thinking about how God is my strength when I am weak (and I am usually pretty weak without food), but I am going to go to the gym anyway and test my strength without any nutrition.
1:38pm - I just finished working out and I feel pretty good. Not really hungry now nor am I shaky either.
3:15pm - There is those darn grapes again.
6:00pm - It is time to make dinner and by now I usually have 4 meals in me. I love cooking dinner and I snack while I'm doing it, but today I am really dreading it because I am really starting to get hungry.
7:35pm - It has been 24 hours since my last meal. I am going to read a little bit of Luke and pray.
8:00pm - I just finished eating a late dinner. I feel drained and tired.

That is my log for the fast. Throughout the day I felt like God was telling me that I need to serve more. Not only was it my friends and neighbors that I am supposed to be serving, but strangers as well. I saw some people that were in need of help while I was driving home today and I failed to stop and offer any help. This is where I feel convicted the most. I don't know how to "get off of my high horse" and serve. What if they reject me and don't want my help? What if I help and totally make their day? I struggle with this so much. I think that I will try fasting again, but this time I will try to accomplish what He is asking me to do.

God Is Bigger Than That

I have a friend who is very good at holding me accountable for my actions and thoughts. He is a younger guy who is on an incredible journey with God. I met him at my gym about a year ago when I saw that he was wearing a "Young Life" t-shirt and I questioned him about his involvement with the group. Since then, we have developed a great friendship and we share our testimonies in the middle of a testosterone filled place that you often would not find God.
Recently, I shared the news about my trip to Honduras with my friend and this brought him great excitement. I told him of my fears and concerns about the trip and he suggested that I should fast and pray for a day. Of course, my excuse was "I would love to fast, but my exercise routine requires a lot of nutrition and I don't think I would make it through the day without crashing". He simply told me, "God is bigger than that"!
I was on a hike with my brother a couple of weeks ago and I injured my foot while jumping over a creek and landing on a rock (in other words, I was being a show off). What I thought was a sprain feels more like a stress fracture. The pain is deeper, as if it is in the bone. Some of my work out routine requires balancing, jumping or the individual use of that foot and I get a lot of sharp pain when I do. I was attempting to do some lunges with my friend at the gym yesterday and I realized I could not push off with that foot. I told my friend that I was concerned about the hike up the mountain in Honduras with an injured foot. He suggested that I should have it looked at and then he said "God is bigger than that".
Think about it. What in your life is presenting a challenge? What seems impossible to accomplish? My marriage is failing, my finances are dwindling, my car won't start, my kid's are rebelling against me, I feel sick....God is bigger than all of these things. GOD IS BIGGER THAN EVERYTHING!
So today I will be fasting, to find answers to my questions. I will also be calling a doctor to have my foot looked at. In time, prayers will be answered and injuries will be healed and I will once again be a witness to the size and power of God.

Rediscovering Cycling

A few years ago, I was invited to go on a 20 mile bike ride by a couple of friends. I accepted the invite and grabbed my 10 year old GT mountain bike and headed down to the rendezvous point. I thought that I was in pretty good shape and figured my mountain bike would be up to the challenge. We geared up and headed out on what seemed to be pretty easy at first. The first mile is relatively flat and my knobby tires were standing up to the poor conditions of the road. Then...our first hill, actually it was a slight incline, but it kicked my ass! At about 4 miles into the ride, I was spent. I think that I actually turned around and came back. Needless to say, I did not take that bike back for that ride again. I had to have something more equipped and made for the purpose. I went to my local bike store and purchased a race level (with entry components) TREK Alpha SLR 1500. This bike only weighs 16 lbs! I grabbed some other essential gear and energy supplements and immediately prepared for my next ride.
The second trip on the 20 mile loop was an eye opener. I thought for sure that, with this new bike, I would dominate and be able to keep up with my friends. I did complete the entire ride, but played catch-up most of the time. I was exhausted again. Every part of my body hurt and I couldn't catch my breath for almost an hour after the ride. What the heck! I was in worst shape than I had thought. In addition to that, I found out that I have exercise induced asthma. From that moment until now, my vow was to get into shape and conquer road biking.
In the Fall of the same year that I started riding, the guys that invited me on that first ride talked me into doing a triathlon. Morgan's Little Miami Triathlon (in northern Cincinnati) is a 6 mile canoe, 6 mile run, 1/4 mile hill climb, and 18 mile bike ride. It sounded more fun than anything. Once again, I felt tough enough to accept the challenge. By then I will have had 3 months of bike training under my belt and running has never been that hard for me. The canoe part was my only worry. I have never canoed before. The guys all said not to worry, it's easy. WRONG! I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and being that there was only ten inches of water that year because of a drought didn't help matters either. My canoe mate and I spent more time in the water (literally) than anybody else. Oh well, we got through it and I went on to finish the race in just under 4 hours. The finish time sucked but I was glad just to have finished.
I have been biking for almost 3 years now and am totally addicted. I even picked up mountain biking last year when they opened a 4 mile course in Mitchell Memorial Park near my home. The course is entry level, but it is what you make of it, and can be a ton of fun. Of course, I had to purchase a new mountain bike since mine was out dated. I bought a Gary Fisher hard tail with front suspension fork. It has disc brakes and it is fairly light considering it is a mountain bike. I am looking forward to more adventures in the great outdoors with my mountain bike.
One thing I have learned about biking is that everybody has a different style and pace. I will never be a Lance Armstrong and that is fine with me. I do it more for the exercise and to challenge myself. I only wish that I had more time to ride because "saddle time" is what makes all the difference in the world. I am hoping to get out at least three days a week this season whether it's on the road or off in the trails. I am also hoping to participate in the GOBA (Great Ohio Bike Adventure) in northern Ohio this year. It is a week long tour across the northern tier of the state. I am also planning on doing the triathlon again this fall. It will be a challenge because I have not been in a canoe since the first triathlon, but it is a lot of fun and I want to beat my first finish time.
Biking is a great sport. Be warned though, it is not for everybody. If you have a fear of sharing the road with cars when you are on a 16 lb piece of aluminum (or carbon fiber), then it is probably not the sport for you. Most drivers are considerate but you WILL encounter the occasional idiot. I have to practice extra grace and keep my rage under control when somebody does or says something stupid to me. Also, biking is expensive. Most entry level bikes cost around $1,000 and race level bikes can get up into the $10,000's (don't ask me why, you can buy a motorcycle for the same price). It can be addictive, so don't be surprised if you find yourself wanting to upgrade components on your bike that will assist in making you faster.
All in all, I LOVE IT! I am glad to have rediscovered the sport. It brings back a part of my childhood that I have always cherished.

I Create

Have you ever wanted to make something? I love taking something in it's rawest form and turning it into something beautiful. I am a craftsman/furniture maker/woodworker. I have my own business in custom cabinetry. Wood working is something that comes natural to me. After sitting behind a computer for several hours a day doing architectural design work, I realized that I longed for something more. I wanted to build something. Create something with my own two hands. I took a chance and gave up my career to pursue something else. I took a job with a good friend of mine to help him with his custom cabinetry company. The experience was a rough one because the company was sinking and getting jobs became a daunting task. I immediately jumped ship to a more reputable company and found my place in the cabinetry world. I had the privilege of working along side of some of the best craftsman that I have ever met. Even today, I wish that I was half as skilled as some of those guys.
On July 27th 2001, my daughter Eleana was born and I quit the working world to be a stay-at-home dad. This presented itself with the opportunity to start my own side business doing woodworking. I have a small clientele base and get jobs mostly by word of mouth and referrals. I love my job! I get to meet some really great people and build something for them that they are going to cherish for a long time.
As I mentioned before, I love to take something in it's rawest form and create something. I love going to my favorite lumber store (Paxton Lumber in Madiera) and choosing a wood species to turn into a piece of furniture. The smell of the wood when it is being cut is one of my favorite fragrances in the world (minus the dust particles that I am inhaling). Most of the time, I am working from a plan or a design that I created from a customer's personal idea. But, even with step-by-step instructions I sometimes run into snags that challenge me to use my brain. That's where the fun creativity is applied. It's not something that I can really explain or teach either, it's just something that I do.
Once I am finished with a project, I like to rough assemble everything just to make sure it's going to work or look right. It is at that moment when I take a step back and say "I made that. I took a simple piece of wood and turned it into something beautiful". It feels kind of like how a parent feels watching there kids grow from an infant into a person... something beautiful.

I actually like the way a piece looks before applying any finish to it. I don't consider myself a finish expert yet. That is an art form in itself, one which I am still learning. But nonetheless, I love to apply new or old techniques to get the desired look for the piece. It is at the time of delivery when I receive a sense of gratitude from my customer. The smile on there face and knowing that this is exactly what they had wanted is worth more than receiving any amount of pay for what I do. Most of my clients are now friends of mine and that means the world to me. So, what do you create? I'll bet that you have made something beautiful!

Control Freak

I am a control freak! Last night, I was in a meeting with a group of guys that are pretty similar to me. We are all a bunch of messed up, ragged out, trying to find our way in this world men. We have come together to participate in a church based curriculum called "Reset". Reset is a course to rediscover and reevaluate who Jesus is and what our assumptions of Him are. Our topic of discussion last night was fears and control. Control...what can I say about control? I control every aspect of my life. I control what I eat or drink. I control when I rest. I control how I get to and from someplace. I control pretty much everything my kids do or don't do, or at least I try to. I control the cleanliness of my house, my car, my yard and even my body, and did I mention that I am a neat freak as well, so there is an extra emphasis on control of cleanliness. There is so much need for control in my life. But, what if you were to take some of it away from me? How would I function? I'll get to that in a minute. Where does the need for control come from? I have absolutely no idea where I got this from. My other thought is, what if I'm not really in control of anything? What if it is all an illusion to myself? It's as if the world would stop working if I lost control. The last time I checked, I'm not God, and the world seems to functioning perfectly fine without me. I guess the problem now is, how do I control my need for control? On April 21-28, I will be on a Mission trip in Honduras. I will not be controlling how I get there. I will not be controlling my meals. I will not be at home, here in Cincinnati, controlling my job or family life. I will be at a loss of total control. It will be like being on an episode of "Twilight Zone". I hope to learn something about myself. I hope to discover something new about God. I will let Him be in control and I think something awesome will happen in respect to it.

Sinner or Saint

I was just wondering the other day, what an outsider looking in on a Christian might see. I remember how I viewed Christian people. Everything seemed so perfect. Nicer clothes, cleaner homes and they always seemed so happy. Of course, this memory comes from my childhood and most kids were either laughing with someone or at someone, so I guess that explains the happy part. I really didn't have much interaction with kids of faith. Most of the dudes I hung out with were pretty similar to me...rebellious and somewhat dorky (product of the 80's).
Now that I am a Christian, I find myself in different shoes. My church has all kinds of people from all walks of life in it. There is the young alternative crowd, the homeless, divorced, single parents, people with money and people without. There is black, white and all the other colors. We even have a large crowd of recovering alcoholics and drug abusers. This is not the vision that I saw when I was a kid on the outside looking in. These are definitely not "Saint Like" role models. Are they? But what does the word Saint even mean. I see it as someone who strives to be good and lives their life to be God on display. So I guess you could say that all of these people, these Christians, are sinners who yearn to be saints. We are all here on a journey to discover who we really are. To find out what our purpose is and what God desires for us. I would say that is saintlike behavior as well.
Now, how about the word Sinner. What does that mean? Is it someone who makes bad choices and feels no remorse? Is it someone who chooses a self destructive life style over one that has purpose and meaning? Is it just someone who is plain evil? I think it has different meanings for everyone. The sad truth is that we are all sinners. From the day we came out of the womb, we entered into a fallen world and it is in our destiny to sin. There has only been one person that has walked on this Earth who was perfect and without sin. He died for us on a cross so that we could be free from the sin that binds us.
So what are you...sinner or saint? I am a sinner who strives to live like a saint. I make bad choices but learn from them as well. I am in constant prayer to ask for forgiveness and guidance to keep me on a righteous path. I am a sinner, but I am redeemed!
I love that our church is full of misfits. I hope that when people are on the outside looking in, that they see real life people with real life problems finding God.

TOUGH ENOUGH

Today was a learning experience. I mentioned in my previous blog that our theme for this Honduras mission trip is "Fighting" and that we would be doing ultimate fighter style training in order to prepare for our trip. I have to admit, I didn't know what to expect going into today's exercise routine at Club MMA. On my way there, I was already sizing myself up with some of the guys that are in the group. Is that a man thing? Why is it we always let our testosterone get the best of us? I immediately started praying for strength, physical and mental. I told myself that I would just allow myself to feel everything about this experience naturally and then sort it out later. I walked in and my buddies greeted me just as they do every else. After the group assembled we started out with some warm-up exercises which consisted of mostly crawling positions across the gym floor. Some of these were pretty challenging coordination wise but not physically for me. When we completed our warm-up we moved on to our cardio exercise. This is where I was wondering how I would fare with all of the guys in the group. Most of the guys are younger than me and a some of them are in pretty good shape. A few of them are into mixed martial arts and grappling as well. The cardio consisted mostly of plyometrics and jumping in one place for 30 second intervals. I did break a sweat but surprisingly enough was not really out of breath or dying for water either. I found myself looking around the room, again sizing myself up, and realizing that I am in better shape than I thought I was in. I approached a couple of my fellow missioners and asked them how they were feeling and tried to inspire them to push through it. One of our main focuses is remembering to build each other up versus tearing each other down. That is a hard one for me. But, I dumped my pride and got it right...it felt good. On to the fun stuff. Time to spar. Time to fight, punch and kick. Are you tough enough? We rolled out the stationary punching stands and teamed up in groups of two. Our leader Vinny, who is a trained fighter, taught us some tips on punching and kicking. I found myself intensely watching his every move. Sweat was dripping off of my nose and my muscles were already burning. I studied him and listened to his every word. We started to use the technique combinations on the bags. While one of us was hitting and kicking, the other was busy doing push-ups and crunches until we were signaled to switch. We did this for five minutes straight...round one. We went through the whole process a couple more times...rounds two and three...and then we were done. Although somewhat tired now, I was pumped and wanting more. Vinny approached me and spoke into my enthusiasm for this sport. He gave me constructive criticism and I took it well. I realized that I could definitely find an interest in mixed martial arts and I bet that it would help out with my triathlon training as well. We all did our post work-out stretching and shared some laughs and then we called it a day. I am hooked and anxious for next Sunday. I had no feelings of anger and I pushed through how I judge people. I love this group of guys and am looking forward to more cool experiences with them. God is Great!

To Fight Or Not To Fight

Many of you know by now that I am preparing to go on a mission trip to Honduras. I think that I also mentioned that part of this trip includes a four mile hike up a mountain...with gear. The group of guys I am going with is a great group of guys. Christian, inspiring and CRAZY is the best way to describe most of them. They have actually created a theme for this mission trip and the theme is "Fighting". That's right, fighting. As we prepare for our trip to Honduras, we will be getting together every Sunday at club MMA to have a meeting and then to train for Ultimate Fighter style fighting. Can you imagine....a bunch of church going Jesus freaks fighting like dogs? At first, I thought the idea of it was stupid and crazy. How will people outside of our church view us? Now that the idea has had time to set in, and I am preparing for my first training session this weekend, I think it sounds pretty exciting. The workout includes weight training, cardio and sparring. What better way to prepare ourselves for a four mile hike. Not only physically, but mentally as well. I believe in order to have a sound body, you must have a sound mind. This helps alleviate fear, helps you to stay focused and gives you the can do/don't quit mentality. The "Fight" theme is perfect for a bunch of guys who want to be "Guys". I already workout six days a week and I have intensified my workouts in the past couple of months in order to prepare myself for this year's biking and triathlons. I have even bought a 100 lb. heavy bag and a speed bag to incorporate into my workouts. Did I mention, that when I was a kid, I thought I was ROCKY? "Yo Adrian". I love working out and now more than ever. I am interested to see how I hold up with some of the fellow Hondomaniacs. I've had my fair share of bouts when I was growing up, but that was ten years ago. I have done a lot of hard work over the past ten years in dealing with my anger. I was a very temperamental person and it didn't take much to set me off. I also believe in the old saying, it doesn't matter the size of the man in the fight but the size of the fight in the man. I think a calm and focused man has more of an advantage than an angry out of control lunatic. I used to be the lunatic. Hopefully, I can find my calm and maintain my focus. I am anxious to train with my fellow mission buddies, but not at the cost of my sanity. Only one thing left to say,"If you can't stand the heat....." (The Rock). Peace.

Super Hero

When I was a kid, one of my favorite things to do when company came to our house was to put on my Superman underoos (over my pj's) and run around the house pretending to fly. I loved Superman! In fact, I loved a lot of the 70's superheros. Batman, Thor, Captain America, Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk were a few of my favorites. These days only one has much meaning to me. Batman is a different kind of Superhero. He doesn't have any special powers. He can't fly, spin a web or grow ten times his size and turn green. He relies on his intelligence and wealth to defeat crime. As with all tights wearing crime fighters, Batman has a dark side. His parents were murdered right in front of him when he was a kid. From that moment on he swore vengeance on all criminals. So where is all of this going? I know none of this really matters and it is somewhat dorky. But in a way, I can relate to Bruce Wayne (Batman). I'd like to think that if something happened to my family, I could turn rogue and go after crime using the dark of the night as my cover. I'd like to think that if I had millions of dollars, I could purchase some of the coolest crime fighting tools and weaponry ever made. I'd like to think that I could run around in tights in public and not be the laughing stock of the city. Truth is, I can't do any of these things. If I did, I would probably end up in jail. So who do we turn to in these times when we need a hero? Is it the fire department or the police? The U.S. military? Or what about lawyers? Does anyone with supernatural powers even exist? Does anyone really care enough for us and is willing to die for us in an instant? What does the word "Hero" even mean these days? Who is your hero? What hero would you be? If I could be a hero it would definitely have to be Batman. My real life hero who has died for me is Jesus.