I was laying in bed this morning, trying to plan my day, when God inspired me to write this poem.
A Real Man
A real man rises in the morning
and falls to his knees in worship.
He gives thanks for the day
whether it brings joy or hardship.
A real man provides for his family
not only financially but by his spiritual obligation.
He has hope in the Lord
and prays for His Reconciliation.
A real man makes himself vulnerable
knowing that his masculinity will be in question.
He admits his fears and also his wrongs
and he asks for help in his weak conditions.
A real man doesn't have all of the answers
but he continuously prays for God's Wisdom.
He humbly cries out to his God
for it is His Love that we cannot fathom.
I often think about how vulnerable I make myself when I write these blogs. I am the kind of person who worries about what other people's opinions are of me. John the Baptist also practiced making himself vulnerable. He was honest and humble. In John 3:30, he states: "He must become greater; I must become less". There was nothing phony in that statement. John knew who he was in his relation to Jesus and he was not afraid to admit.
I am trying so hard to decrease who I am so that Jesus can increase who He is, and it is one of the hardest, most challenging and soul wrenching things that I have ever done. I am at war with myself, but I have no choice because I am sick of living with my sins. I will always be a sinner, that is just a fact of life, but I gratefully seek and appreciate God's glorious redemption.
Peace!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Learning To Walk
When an infant is born, he has no ability to do anything except for allowing his own natural body functions to perform. Eating, talking, walking and even playing has to be taught to him, he has to learn how to do everything and he is dependent on his parents to teach him and help him. In a lot of ways, when we are born again to God, we are a lot like that infant. The problem with that is, the older we get, the more we cling to our own understanding and past experiences on how to do things. One of the hardest things to do in life is to totally surrender to God and allow Him to take control of our lives. There is an incredible amount of risk involved when surrendering to God. First of all, there is the unknown. We have no concept of what God's plan is for us, and not knowing how or what to expect can be scary. Second, there is going be to pain, and a lot of it. When we begin the surrendering process, we are going to be asked to let go of stuff that we love, stuff that we hold on to and think that we can't live without. God is asking us to trust Him with that stuff. Just like parents who know what is best for their child, God knows what is best for us.
When an infant learns how to walk for the first time, it can be a very intimidating moment for both the parents and the child. I don't remember what was going through my head as an infant when I was learning to walk, but I'm pretty sure it was nerve racking and exciting at the same time. And, as a parent who was teaching my kids to walk, I pretty much felt the same way. Learning to walk is one of the biggest things to accomplish in early life. It gives us mobility and freedom. It also builds confidence. I remember how proud my kids looked when they all learned how to walk. Sometimes in our life, we can lose our way. We have to learn how to walk again and for us Christians, this means we have to let God teach us how to do so. He knows what the best directions are, what steps to avoid and when we should rest.
Recently, I have been challenged to surrender something that I love with all of my heart. Something that I have been too dependent on and afraid to let go of. I took that step yesterday, of letting go of my control over that thing that I love so much. After a night of pain and realization of what I have done, I woke this morning to God's voice asking me again, "Nick, do you still trust Me"? As I lay there allowing my brain to fully awaken and to catch up to my rambling thoughts, I recognized what He was talking about. He is going to teach me how to walk again. For the past fifteen years, I have forgotten how to walk on my own. I have become selfish and over dependent on the people that I love the most. I once wrote about allowing God to start chiseling away the crap that has caused havoc in my life. I thought that I was almost done with this journey until yesterday. This (hopefully the last) chunk has to be removed so that I cannot only walk, but run at full speed with God.
Surrendering requires patience, trust and faith. There is going to be a tremendous amount of effort on my part over the next several weeks (or months, or years, or however long it takes), but I'm ready for the challenge. It is going to be very painful at times, but my focus is on God. In the end, I believe that I will be a better, more self driven and independent man, and that God will return some of the things that I love.
Job 42:10-17 After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the LORD had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers. After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so Job died, an old man and full of years.
I pray that any of you who are going through a difficult storm in life, learn how to lean on God and trust Him through these times. I pray that you are able to fully surrender to Him so that He can teach you how to walk again and be the person that He designed you to be. I pray this in Jesus' name.
Peace!
When an infant learns how to walk for the first time, it can be a very intimidating moment for both the parents and the child. I don't remember what was going through my head as an infant when I was learning to walk, but I'm pretty sure it was nerve racking and exciting at the same time. And, as a parent who was teaching my kids to walk, I pretty much felt the same way. Learning to walk is one of the biggest things to accomplish in early life. It gives us mobility and freedom. It also builds confidence. I remember how proud my kids looked when they all learned how to walk. Sometimes in our life, we can lose our way. We have to learn how to walk again and for us Christians, this means we have to let God teach us how to do so. He knows what the best directions are, what steps to avoid and when we should rest.
Recently, I have been challenged to surrender something that I love with all of my heart. Something that I have been too dependent on and afraid to let go of. I took that step yesterday, of letting go of my control over that thing that I love so much. After a night of pain and realization of what I have done, I woke this morning to God's voice asking me again, "Nick, do you still trust Me"? As I lay there allowing my brain to fully awaken and to catch up to my rambling thoughts, I recognized what He was talking about. He is going to teach me how to walk again. For the past fifteen years, I have forgotten how to walk on my own. I have become selfish and over dependent on the people that I love the most. I once wrote about allowing God to start chiseling away the crap that has caused havoc in my life. I thought that I was almost done with this journey until yesterday. This (hopefully the last) chunk has to be removed so that I cannot only walk, but run at full speed with God.
Surrendering requires patience, trust and faith. There is going to be a tremendous amount of effort on my part over the next several weeks (or months, or years, or however long it takes), but I'm ready for the challenge. It is going to be very painful at times, but my focus is on God. In the end, I believe that I will be a better, more self driven and independent man, and that God will return some of the things that I love.
Job 42:10-17 After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the LORD had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. He had fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, a thousand yoke of oxen and a thousand donkeys. And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second Keziah and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers. After this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so Job died, an old man and full of years.
I pray that any of you who are going through a difficult storm in life, learn how to lean on God and trust Him through these times. I pray that you are able to fully surrender to Him so that He can teach you how to walk again and be the person that He designed you to be. I pray this in Jesus' name.
Peace!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Journey
I met Ann (my wife) seventeen years ago, on Halloween night at a techno club in Columbus, Ohio. Just to let you know, this was way before my life as a follower of Christ and, as most young men, I was just living to have a good time. Ann and I danced and drank until the club closed in the early morning hours and then we spent the rest of the morning together at a friends house watching Halloween movies until the sun came up. When the morning came, we exchanged phone numbers and we said our good-byes. At that time, I was living in Columbus and Ann was living in Cincinnati. I waited five long days before I called her to ask her out on a date. She accepted, and before we knew it, we were in a long distance relationship, traveling back and forth once a week just to spend time with each other. Although it was exhausting, I rather enjoyed all of the traveling. It wasn't long though, before I decided to pack up my stuff and move to Cincy so that I could be with her all of the time.
It's hard to believe that seventeen years have gone by so quickly. We have been married now for fifteen of those years. We have had three houses, different jobs and somehow we found Christ along the way. We now have three beautiful children that I love with all of my heart. It has been the best years of my life.
I wish that I could say the same for my bride. Over the years, I have caused her a lot of emotional pain. I have said things to her that hurt her to the core of her soul. Most of the things that I've said were probably out of my own selfish pride, things that probably made me feel redeemed from my own sinful behavior. I wish that I could go back and take them back, but I can't. I can only work on the future version of me. But, right now my future looks bleak. Not that I have lost my confidence that I can be a better man for wife, but that I may have run out of chances to prove myself. My marriage has suffered a tremendous amount of blows over the past year. I have spent a better part of that year receiving counsel in hopes of becoming the man that God designed me to be, which in return, would rescue my marriage. It has been an incredible year of growth and of struggle. Each day started off with new hope, but at day's end, all of pain and distance felt so obvious.
I believe that I am a new man. A man who is passionate for Christ. A man who is passionate for his bride and for his family. A man who has developed strong friendships with other brothers in Christ. And yet, a man who is still flesh and stuck in the ways of this world. It seems no matter how much I grow and change, the same old me rears his ugly head and finds a way to destroy everything that is good. Sometimes, I really hate the"old me".
The friendships that I have developed with other Christian men have been vital to me. They are my brothers and my church. They pray for me and I do the same for them. They accept me for who I am, good and bad. These brothers have saved my life numerous times and allowed me to do the same for them. I believe that God divinely appoints people to other people. These brothers of mine have all been part of that Holy system. Most of these guys are currently divorced or were going though a divorce when I met them. I have learned so much from them and I have been provided the opportunity to pray for them and offer them spiritual advice in their times of trial. I often wondered why I was meeting so many men who were going through divorce though. Was God trying to tell me something? It's funny, when you are called to be the strong one, you think that you are doing good for someone else when in reality, these people might have very well been placed in your life to offer you something. Job 4:1-6 speaks on this: Then Eliphaz from Teman spoke up, "Would you mind if I said something to you? Under the circumstances it's hard to keep quiet. You yourself have done this plenty of times, spoken words that clarify, encouraged those who were about to quit. Your words have put stumbling people on their feet, put fresh hope in people about to collapse. But now you're the one in trouble—you're hurting! You've been hit hard and you're reeling from the blow. But shouldn't your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn't your exemplary life give you hope?" I offered these men hope and showed them that God cares for them, and when the tables were turned and my faith was tested, I found myself not living by the same standards that I offered to these brothers of mine. Nothing like a dose of Job to set you straight.
A wise friend recently reminded me that a woman is like a flower. When God introduces that woman to a man, the man is offered a seed. It is his responsibility to provide for and nurture that seed so that it can grow to become the beautiful flower that God intended her to be. I have to admit that I suck at growing things. Usually, when I purchase a plant, I stick it in the ground and surround it with whatever clay or dirt that I dug up, and then I over douse it with water so that I won't have to feed it later. This is exactly what I have done to Ann. I didn't feed or nurture her. I failed at speaking into her life and I have not inspired her at all lately. How can a man present his wife as pure and spotless before God (Ephesians 5:27) if he has not taken care of her?
Men, we are called to serve endlessly. That is one of the hardest things to do - to serve without putting our own selfish needs first. Jesus spent His life performing miracles and serving people and most of the people that He served turned their backs to Him. He never wavered though, and He never quit. He continued to do so even until that last breath was taken on the Cross. No one is going to perfect on this, it's just not in our power to. We are all of the flesh. We are all sinners. But, we have all been set free so that we might live our lives trying to do what Jesus came to show us to do. I will never give up trying to serve my wife, and that means whether she is with or without me. When we serve our wives and when we serve one another, we are serving God (Matthew 25:40)! That should be our ultimate goal. That is where our reward will come from.
Please know, that I am not sharing this story to whine or complain about my current situation. I certainly am not grieving, yet. I don't want people to feel sympathetic for me. As a follower of Christ, I want to share my life experiences to be an example of how I glorify God, in the good and the bad times (Job 2:10). I will never stop being His disciple. I will never stop chasing after my heavenly Father. I will never stop serving and loving my wife!
Prayer: "Father, I pray for those who are experiencing dark times in their marriage. I lift them up and ask that You begin a healing process with them. Offer them discernment and wisdom. Lord, please remind the men how to serve and how to avoid being selfish. I pray for a hedge of protection over these couples, that You provide a wall of security for them. The enemy comes to steal and destroy Your work O' Lord, and that begins with marriages. May these couples acknowledge that and rebuke satan, in your name Jesus! There is Victory in You God! I thank you for everything that You have done in my life! In Jesus' name, AMEN!"
Peace!
It's hard to believe that seventeen years have gone by so quickly. We have been married now for fifteen of those years. We have had three houses, different jobs and somehow we found Christ along the way. We now have three beautiful children that I love with all of my heart. It has been the best years of my life.
I wish that I could say the same for my bride. Over the years, I have caused her a lot of emotional pain. I have said things to her that hurt her to the core of her soul. Most of the things that I've said were probably out of my own selfish pride, things that probably made me feel redeemed from my own sinful behavior. I wish that I could go back and take them back, but I can't. I can only work on the future version of me. But, right now my future looks bleak. Not that I have lost my confidence that I can be a better man for wife, but that I may have run out of chances to prove myself. My marriage has suffered a tremendous amount of blows over the past year. I have spent a better part of that year receiving counsel in hopes of becoming the man that God designed me to be, which in return, would rescue my marriage. It has been an incredible year of growth and of struggle. Each day started off with new hope, but at day's end, all of pain and distance felt so obvious.
I believe that I am a new man. A man who is passionate for Christ. A man who is passionate for his bride and for his family. A man who has developed strong friendships with other brothers in Christ. And yet, a man who is still flesh and stuck in the ways of this world. It seems no matter how much I grow and change, the same old me rears his ugly head and finds a way to destroy everything that is good. Sometimes, I really hate the"old me".
The friendships that I have developed with other Christian men have been vital to me. They are my brothers and my church. They pray for me and I do the same for them. They accept me for who I am, good and bad. These brothers have saved my life numerous times and allowed me to do the same for them. I believe that God divinely appoints people to other people. These brothers of mine have all been part of that Holy system. Most of these guys are currently divorced or were going though a divorce when I met them. I have learned so much from them and I have been provided the opportunity to pray for them and offer them spiritual advice in their times of trial. I often wondered why I was meeting so many men who were going through divorce though. Was God trying to tell me something? It's funny, when you are called to be the strong one, you think that you are doing good for someone else when in reality, these people might have very well been placed in your life to offer you something. Job 4:1-6 speaks on this: Then Eliphaz from Teman spoke up, "Would you mind if I said something to you? Under the circumstances it's hard to keep quiet. You yourself have done this plenty of times, spoken words that clarify, encouraged those who were about to quit. Your words have put stumbling people on their feet, put fresh hope in people about to collapse. But now you're the one in trouble—you're hurting! You've been hit hard and you're reeling from the blow. But shouldn't your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn't your exemplary life give you hope?" I offered these men hope and showed them that God cares for them, and when the tables were turned and my faith was tested, I found myself not living by the same standards that I offered to these brothers of mine. Nothing like a dose of Job to set you straight.
A wise friend recently reminded me that a woman is like a flower. When God introduces that woman to a man, the man is offered a seed. It is his responsibility to provide for and nurture that seed so that it can grow to become the beautiful flower that God intended her to be. I have to admit that I suck at growing things. Usually, when I purchase a plant, I stick it in the ground and surround it with whatever clay or dirt that I dug up, and then I over douse it with water so that I won't have to feed it later. This is exactly what I have done to Ann. I didn't feed or nurture her. I failed at speaking into her life and I have not inspired her at all lately. How can a man present his wife as pure and spotless before God (Ephesians 5:27) if he has not taken care of her?
Men, we are called to serve endlessly. That is one of the hardest things to do - to serve without putting our own selfish needs first. Jesus spent His life performing miracles and serving people and most of the people that He served turned their backs to Him. He never wavered though, and He never quit. He continued to do so even until that last breath was taken on the Cross. No one is going to perfect on this, it's just not in our power to. We are all of the flesh. We are all sinners. But, we have all been set free so that we might live our lives trying to do what Jesus came to show us to do. I will never give up trying to serve my wife, and that means whether she is with or without me. When we serve our wives and when we serve one another, we are serving God (Matthew 25:40)! That should be our ultimate goal. That is where our reward will come from.
Please know, that I am not sharing this story to whine or complain about my current situation. I certainly am not grieving, yet. I don't want people to feel sympathetic for me. As a follower of Christ, I want to share my life experiences to be an example of how I glorify God, in the good and the bad times (Job 2:10). I will never stop being His disciple. I will never stop chasing after my heavenly Father. I will never stop serving and loving my wife!
Prayer: "Father, I pray for those who are experiencing dark times in their marriage. I lift them up and ask that You begin a healing process with them. Offer them discernment and wisdom. Lord, please remind the men how to serve and how to avoid being selfish. I pray for a hedge of protection over these couples, that You provide a wall of security for them. The enemy comes to steal and destroy Your work O' Lord, and that begins with marriages. May these couples acknowledge that and rebuke satan, in your name Jesus! There is Victory in You God! I thank you for everything that You have done in my life! In Jesus' name, AMEN!"
Peace!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
12 Days of Christmas
The Meaning Behind The Song
The twelve days of Christmas are the twelve days between Christmas Day, Dec. 25th, the birth of Jesus, and the Epiphany, Jan. 6th, the day Christians celebrate the arrival of the Magi (Wise Men) and the revelation of Christ as the light of the world.
The Christmas song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" may sound silly and contrived to many of us. But it actually had its origins in religious symbolism - and with a serious purpose.
It dates from a time of religious persecution. The song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas," was written as a kind of secret catechism that could be sung in public without fear of arrest - a learning or memory aid to Christians in fact.
The song can be taken at two levels of interpretation - the surface meaning, or the hidden meaning known only to the Christians involved. Each element is a code word for a religious truth.
1. The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus.
2. The two turtledoves are the Old and New Testaments.
3. Three French hens stand for faith, hope and love.
4. The four calling birds are the four Gospels.
5. The five gold rings recall the Hebrew Torah (Law), or the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Old Testament.
6. The six geese a-laying stand for the six days of creation.
7. The seven swans a-swimming represent the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.
8. The eight maids a-milking are the eight Beatitudes.
9. Nine ladies dancing are the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit.
10. The ten lords a-leaping are the Ten Commandments.
11. Eleven pipers piping represent the eleven faithful Apostles.
12. Twelve drummers drumming symbolize the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles Creed.
* The "true love" in the song refers to God Himself.
* The "me" receiving the gifts is every Christian.
Peace!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Poetic Melody
Sometimes I cannot forgive,
And these days mercy cuts so deep.
If the world was how it should be,
Maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces lighter.
When we wake, we hate our brother,
We still move to hurt each other.
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent,
Falls below my heavy breathing.
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder,
We all feel the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded,
That the pain is worth the thunder.
Sometimes when I lose my grip,
I wonder what to make of Heaven.
All the times I thought to reach up,
All the times I had to give.
All the wounds that money causes.
All the comforts of cathedrals.
All the cries of thirsty children.
This is our inheritance.
- Jars Of Clay
And these days mercy cuts so deep.
If the world was how it should be,
Maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces lighter.
When we wake, we hate our brother,
We still move to hurt each other.
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent,
Falls below my heavy breathing.
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder,
We all feel the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded,
That the pain is worth the thunder.
Sometimes when I lose my grip,
I wonder what to make of Heaven.
All the times I thought to reach up,
All the times I had to give.
All the wounds that money causes.
All the comforts of cathedrals.
All the cries of thirsty children.
This is our inheritance.
- Jars Of Clay
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Who Am I To . . . ?
I haven't blogged in a while because of a season of stress and lack of obedience. Once again, I am at a point in my life where I am taking another long hard look in the mirror, asking myself, "Am I the man that I want to be?"
I have been examining everything that is going on in my life and realizing how dependent on God that I really am. Our house has been on the market now for over a year and a half, and still, not one offer has come in. I am in the process of officially starting my business, but feel that it is going to fail. I have been connecting with men outside of the church, listening to their stories, and inviting them to my home to be a part of a group of men who will worship God, but no one shows up. I have quit going to church because I struggle with it's leadership and I feel like God is leading me to a new church as my home. I have been fighting to save my marriage, but feel like I am losing the battle most of the time. All of this I could swear that I heard God ask me, no . . . Tell me to do. I accepted the challenges and answered His call on all of these. I started off faithful, believing that He would be active in all of these, but it has all been going on for so long now, that I am starting to lose my faith.
And so the question arises, "Who am I to deny God?" Who am I to say that God can't bring a buyer for this home? Who am I to say that my business can't succeed? Who am I to decide to stop inviting men into my home to worship God? Who am I to say that my marriage can't be saved? If I am a believer in God, the One who has a plan for my life, who has asked me to do these things for Him, then I have no right to say that these things can't be done.
John 3:16-18 says, "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him." As followers, we have to trust and expect God to work in our lives, and not by our standards or conditions, but simply because He created us to do so.
Peace!
I have been examining everything that is going on in my life and realizing how dependent on God that I really am. Our house has been on the market now for over a year and a half, and still, not one offer has come in. I am in the process of officially starting my business, but feel that it is going to fail. I have been connecting with men outside of the church, listening to their stories, and inviting them to my home to be a part of a group of men who will worship God, but no one shows up. I have quit going to church because I struggle with it's leadership and I feel like God is leading me to a new church as my home. I have been fighting to save my marriage, but feel like I am losing the battle most of the time. All of this I could swear that I heard God ask me, no . . . Tell me to do. I accepted the challenges and answered His call on all of these. I started off faithful, believing that He would be active in all of these, but it has all been going on for so long now, that I am starting to lose my faith.
And so the question arises, "Who am I to deny God?" Who am I to say that God can't bring a buyer for this home? Who am I to say that my business can't succeed? Who am I to decide to stop inviting men into my home to worship God? Who am I to say that my marriage can't be saved? If I am a believer in God, the One who has a plan for my life, who has asked me to do these things for Him, then I have no right to say that these things can't be done.
John 3:16-18 says, "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him." As followers, we have to trust and expect God to work in our lives, and not by our standards or conditions, but simply because He created us to do so.
Peace!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)