Friends & Family

I grew up in Columbus Ohio. I guess you could say we were your average blue collar family. Dad worked all day to provide for us and mom stayed home to raise us. I only have one brother and no sisters. My brother and I are only a year a part, so we played good together, for the most part. We lived in a neighborhood filled with kids so we had a lot of friends as well.
As my brother and I grew older, we took on different interests and our personalities changed too. He became more adventurous and I became more shy. I developed a small circle of friends and he became popular and had a large group of friends.
I do remember one evening at the dinner table, sitting and thinking how things were changing. My brother and I were both in a hurry to finish our dinner so we could bolt out the door to go play. I recall thinking how we weren't really functioning as the family we used to be. We were gone all day with our friends, came in to eat, and then gone again. Where as before, when we were younger, we would play together, eat all of our meals together, have conversation together, and then do something together as a family to end the evening.
Maybe there is nothing wrong with this picture. Maybe this how most families were and are. But, I have always believed, that a family that plays together, stays together. I also think it is important to have friends. A community of people that share common interests. Real friends, that build you up instead of tearing you down.
So now I have a family of my own. My wife, Ann and I, have a ten year old son (Dominick), a seven year old daughter (Eleana) who will be eight next month, and a five year son (Anthony). I never thought that I would have three kids, let alone one. But here we are. Oh, and we have a two year dog named Coco. She is a chocolate lab and she is very much a part of our family.
We are close family. Somewhat similar to the one that I grew up in. Ann works and I stay home with the kids. I have a side business that I run from home so I am always available if I am needed. I notice how the kids play together. Anthony and Lanie get along great and do a lot of stuff together. Since Lanie is the middle child, she also gets along well with Dominick. Anthony and Dominick very rarely interact together, but when they do, it brings me great joy.
Now that it is summer, the kids pretty much just hang around the house and watch t.v. or play video games. This drives me insane. We have a nanny, and she is GREAT, but I think it is hard for her to find something that they all can enjoy doing at the same time. She takes them to the pool and has activities for them, but it can be a daunting task sometimes to entertain three kids. Believe me, I know!!
The one that my heart breaks for the most is Dominick. When I was ten, I had my brother that I could still play with, but I had a lot of new friends as well. Well, maybe not a lot, but at least two or three. Dominick has a few good buddies, but very rarely spends any time with them. I am always telling him to call and invite, but he won't reach out. I asked Dominick to try to contact some of the kids in this neighborhood, but he says that he doesn't like them. Or that they don't like him because he is too different. Dominick is different, but he is also unique. He is incredibly smart for his age. He taught himself how to read when he was four. He is not very adventurous or a chance taker for that matter, but he will engage in something if it looks fun to him. The kids that do open up to him look up to him because he is a leader. That can also be a downfall. Sometimes he leads too much. He is very competitive and hates losing. But, he is still my son and I love him. I want the best for him. And, as a father, I will do anything to provide for my family.

So, here we are today. Our house is on the market and we are hoping to downsize and to find a neighborhood that has more kids in it. We are praying for a neighborhood that has more community in it. I want my kids to value friendship more than the security of a big fancy house. As a father and a husband, I want to provide what is really important for my family. But, I also need to remember to be a family member as well. To play with my kids as much as I can. To sit and read with them or just hang out and talk. Because there will come a day, when my wish will come true. They will be sitting at that dinner table, eating as fast as they can, so they can bolt out the door. They will have their best buds and Ann and I will be boring to them. And then I will be wishing that I had spent more time with them. I'll always be wondering what they are doing. I will miss them. I will also be happy for them. They are great kids and I love them and God gave them to me to love for a season.

So, I was sitting in church yesterday listening to the message my good friend Tim was giving. We're still in this series called "Fighting", which relates to how we deal with challenges and struggles in everyday life. During the message, I kept hearing, Jesus is after our hearts. My mind tends to drift at church and I often find myself thinking of things that are going on in my life and how they relate to the message. I was processing this idea of Jesus being after our hearts and I came up with the thought of Him testing us. What if He is just testing Ann and I with this whole moving situation. We put our house on the market last week in hopes to downsize and honor God's calling on this. I have said before that I know in my heart that this is what we are supposed to be doing and I completely trust Him in all of this. But, what if He is just testing us? Testing our hearts to see if we would actually do it. Maybe He wants us to stay here and try harder to reach our neighbors and to let our neighbors reach us. Maybe His plan is greater than a relocation. Maybe He will do something awesome in our hearts and this communities if we stay. After all, they're all His children too. They deserve a second, third, fourth chance.... If we are the light and the way, then why would we be called to take it somewhere else and leave these children of His to be abandoned. There are other Christians in this neighborhood. Some of them even go to our church. Maybe they are to continue the fight for lost hearts in this neighborhood. There are so many possibilities, as there always is with God!
But then there is the fact that I am still unhappy here. Our kids have no friends to play with. All of our direct neighbors are older and the overall feeling on this part of the street is a stuffy one. We are still just getting by with the mortgage payment. Not able to tithe, not able to save, not able to use His money how He intended it to be used. I dream of using that money to build small homes in Honduras. So much could be done with it instead of going to a mortgage payment for a big fancy house that has nothing to show for it. It feels like a burden to me and I want it to be lifted.
So what now? What do we do? We sit and wait. We have moved a lot in the past (3 houses in ten years), and every move we have felt led. This is an opportunity to trust God and watch Him do something awesome. It also a learning experience for us. We can look back to see what we might have failed at, and then take that experience to look forward to see what we can do better. It is also a struggle in progress. You can't have one without the other. Struggle is good as long as you don't dwell in it for too long. As long as you learn something and progress. I have no regrets with our past. Life is an adventure and God wants us (you) to take chances for Him. How can there be any regrets if you truly trust Him?

Warrior

Fact: There is A God!

Fact: Jesus is God in Flesh!

Fact: Jesus came to this Earth to save us!

Fact: Jesus is the only way to our Father!

Fact: Jesus was crucified on the cross for us!

Fact: Jesus was, is, and always will BE!

Fact: This Earth can be a scary and dark place to live.

Fact: There are wars going on today.

Fact: There is an enemy named satan.

Fact: We are all going to die someday.

Question: What would you risk dying for?

Definition of a "Warrior" - Someone engaged in or experienced in warfare.

Question: Would you consider yourself a warrior?

I'm guessing most people on this planet would answer that question "No". I can understand why they would answer it that way too. They may not see themselves as a warrior because they are not in the military. Or maybe warrior is only a Hollywood term that people don't really use anymore. Maybe there are a lot of people out there that just don't believe in "fighting" for something. I would have to argue with that belief. Everyone on this Earth is fighting for something. Some are fighting to get that raise at work, some are fighting just to muster up enough energy to make it through the day, some are fighting back negative feelings, some are fighting for their right to believe in something, some just like to fight,...I think you get the idea by now.

Question: Do you see Jesus as a fighter (warrior) or just a peaceful friendly guy?

I think He is both. Let's examine the day He was born. I think Christmas tradition paints that glorious night as a peaceful, angels singing, kings and sheppards in awe, O' what a wonderful night. And I'm sure that all took place. But what do you think satan was doing at that time? I'm sure he wasn't jumping for joy and clapping his hands that his defeater was here. No, he was scheming and waging war on Jesus. I think it was King Herod that put out an order to murder all infants in an attempt to wipe out Jesus. Where do you think Herod got is orders from? My guess it was satan that put that thought in his head. So, at a very early age, Jesus was placed in this world which was at war. I'd say that makes him a warrior. I'd say Joseph and Mary were warriors as well. They had orders from God to protect their child at all cost.

Deep Question: Why do you believe you are here on this Earth?

I hope you don't just think you are here to exist. I hope you are ALIVE! I hope your life has meaning. I hope your life has purpose. God is madly in love with you and wants great things for you while you are here on Earth. Most of all, He wants you to spend eternity with Him. He wants you to fight against the things that keep you in bondage. He wants you to take risks and share His name with a stranger. He wants you to live freely without worry or stress. HE WANTS YOU!

Question: What will you fight for?

Question: Who would you die for if you had to?

Question: Will you trust Him with your life?

Fact: You are a WARRIOR!

Patience Required

Summer break started this past Monday for my kids. I figured since I didn't have any work to do today, I would take them to the park. My intentions were not to go somewhere to play though. I told Dominick, a few weeks ago, that I was going to work on his running speed with him. The deal with Lanie is to get her riding her bike with no training wheels by the end of the summer.
So I loaded up the kids, a bike, some running gear and the family dog , and we headed to the park. When we got there, I set up a ten yard marker and a twenty yard marker. Dominick did touch and go's in about 18 seconds flat but kept burning out at the end of his run. This is what I noticed a lot during his soccer games this past season. He would explode after the ball, but as soon as the faster kids caught up, he would burn out and quit. This is very frustrating to watch and this is why we are going to work on his running and speed all summer long.
As for Lanie....she is seven years old and still rides with training wheels. I don't know what the norm is for this or if there is one, but I am determined to get her riding without them by the end of this summer. You see, she knows how to balance her bike. She can coast on it for pretty good distances with her feet off of the pedals. Her fear is, that if she puts her feet on the pedals, she will lose her balance and crash. Someone once told me, "Take her to a park so that she can ride in the grass". Grass is softer than asphalt, making it easier if you crash. Of course, now the only problem is, it's harder to move anywhere when you're in the grass. So she spent most of the time just sitting on her bike and balancing it in one spot. There is an eight foot decline that leads to the flat area of the field that I thought would be a great launching ramp. After five minutes of whining, she finally set her mind to it and rode down the hill. She actually stayed up but forgot to put her feet on the pedals and continue motion once she was at the bottom of the hill.
This is where I am going to need a little extra patience this summer. It will be tough, but it will be productive. By the of the summer, I know that Dominick will be faster in the sport he is passionate about. And, I know that Lanie will finally be riding like a pro.
Now I just have to prepare myself to teach Anthony (the wild man) how to ride.

Under Going Construction

I am on a quest to revamp my blog. I have loaded a new background that I found on PYZAM.com. There are literally thousands to choose from. I narrowed my search down to ten and this is the one that I chose to use as my current background. I think it looks cool with my title "The Human Experience". So now I am looking for some cool gadgets to load onto my sidebar. I am open to some suggestions. What have you seen on other peoples blogs that caught your eyes? Let me know what you think of the new background. Don't be surprised if it changes constantly over the next few weeks. I still have nine more favorites that I would like to try.

Blogging Advice

So, I've been doing this blogging stuff for about six months now. At first, I thought it was pretty stupid and a waste of time. I've discovered it is a useful tool to express my opinion on certain topics and to receive some great feedback as well. Now, I would like to take it to another level. I would like to personalize my blog to represent me more than blogging site allows. I would like a new background or template, more sidebar gadgets, a new banner and maybe a source to generate some income off of my blog. I would also like to have more followers but don't know how to attract them. I am not techy or computer savvy person. So, if anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it.

Time To Move On

Well, we've been in this house for a little over three years now. I have been finishing the basement for about half of that time and it is officially done. So....why not move?
Here is the deal. When we moved (from our newly built home in South Lebanon) to the west side, we strongly felt led to this house. In fact, we have always felt that the Lord was placing us somewhere strategically with all of our moves. I really loved this house. I was still in my "chasing money" mode and this house justified leaving the house we just built. Although, my question has always been, why this house? Why did God leave the door open for this one? Why this neighborhood? What did HE have in mind for us here? I thought we were supposed to "serve the rich" in some manner or form. But how do you do that? They already have everything they need, or so they think. This neighborhood also has a lot of Catholics and Elder graduates in it. It is very clicky. I have met a lot of the neighbors and they seem nice on the outside, but very shallow. I have always gotten a rise out of the reactions I would get when I was asked why we moved here (not a lot of outsiders move into the west side). My direct answer to that question is "God moved us here", and the reaction was the "look at me like I have a third eye" response. So much for faith.
Here's the part where I start bashing this neighborhood. For the past couple of weeks there has been a lot of personal attacks against our family. We have an elderly couple to the right of us that live in a 4,000 square foot, $550,000 home. They live (or should I say are dying) in their bedroom. Their bedroom window, which is open 90% of the time, faces our driveway so they are always monitoring us. Last summer I was scolded for running my tablesaw in my garage during the afternoon when they were trying to sleep. I was told that it was against the "neighborhood rules" and the it violated the "zoning laws". Their complaint this summer was about our dog barking too much. We received an anonymous letter saying that Coco is barking non stop, pissing off ALL of the neighbors and the golfers as well. The letter said that we were breaking the neighborhood rules and violating city ordinance laws. See the similarities? Even though it was signed anonymous, I know it was them.
To the left us is a couple who just sold their house for $630,000 and are moving this week. They are the only neighbors who said "Hi" to us when we moved in. There was a neighborhood yard sale this past weekend and they decided to sell a lot of the stuff that they didn't want to move. Here's the kicker.....they used our front yard and driveway to set up all of their stuff. I went out to ask them why they set up in our yard and they said that they didn't want to block the private drive that they live off of. Their house is situated at the end of the drive and ours is in between theirs and the actual street. They asked me if I was mad but I humbly said "No", even though I was because I wanted to mow my grass that was littered with all of their stuff. I gave them some grace since they are the only couple who have communicated with us.
Last week, our nanny tried to take Anthony to the neighborhood pool. She was approached by some old woman who decided to interrogate her for being there. Neighborhood rules clearly state that you have to be a resident of this neighborhood, at least 16 years of age, have a photo I.D., wear Depends undergarments and be an active member of Elderly Aquatics Exercise Club to get into our pool now. Obviously this woman is one of the board members and didn't have anything better to do except harass the two people who were at the pool that day. I know that I am going to be old some day, but I hope that I am not that bored. By the sounds of this blog, I think it's a given that I am going to be bitter. I'm not really that bitter these days, it's just that I have been pushed to my limit and I feel as though it's time to push back.
One of my pet peaves is the way people drive in this neighborhood. "It's hilly so I have to do 45 miles per hour when I coast down one hill and drive up the other", or "Oh, nobody stops for that STOP sign, so why should I". We live at the end of a cul-de-sac. Three houses up, a street T's into ours. There is a STOP sign there, but nobody stops at it because they assume nobody that lives down at this end of the street has a car. It's not like we would need to go anywhere anyway since we "Already have everything we NEED". I have a big truck, o.k. it's a HUMMER, and I am always waiting for the next person that runs the STOP sign and pulls out in front of me. And believe me, it has happened a lot. It just happened two days ago. This guy drove through the STOP sign, right out in front of me and then decided to stop. I went straight at him. The look in his eyes was pure shock and I could see him boggling for his stick shift to find reverse. I think he actually crapped himself too. I did casually swerve to miss him, but I would have cut it closer if I didn't have the whole family with me. The Lord has worked so hard with me to help me get rid of my road rage and now I feel like that I can't even pull out of my neighborhood without having some kind of confrontation.
Last and also the least, there's the golfers. The foul mouthed, pissing in my yard right in front of me, and can't hit a golf ball to save their life golfers. Don't get me wrong, not all of them are bad. But....
I'm quite certain all of this crap is spiritual warfare. Attacks from the enemy himself. The sad pathetic thing is that these people are satan's pawns. Just being used by the loser himself. They just don't get it and they're catholic.
I have vented now. So how am I supposed to be a role model for Jesus in this situation? How do I show LOVE WINS? How do I not judge other people in these circumstances? How do I take my own advice and respect those who are different from me? These are my struggles and I am doing a bad job at handling them. This blog makes it sound like people need to live up to my standards. I am just so exhausted by all of it. Where do I draw the line between being a respectful christian or being a doormat for people to walk on? I do know that I feel like I have failed here on all accounts. I also feel like GOD is pulling us out of this situation and He's telling us that it's time to move on. Move on to another neighborhood which will have it's ups and downs as well. I just hope the next neighborhood is neighborly. One where people actually come out of there homes and socialize with their neighbors, even if they have differences. One with people who share their struggles (which is healthy). One with people of all races and ethnic groups. One with different income levels. One that GOD wants us to stay in for more than three years. One where I won't feel like a complete failure to HIM or my neighbors.