When I Grow Up . . .

For as long as I can remember I wanted to be an Architect. When I was a kid, I would sit and draw for hours. My favorite things to draw were cars and super hero characters, but mostly, I loved to draw floor plans to houses. I even bought magazines with house plan illustrations. I read though Architectural Digest and other books that pertained to the subject. Even my favorite classes in school were wood shop and art class because they allowed me to be creative.
My parents didn't make a lot of money during my childhood. My dad was a roofer and my mom stayed home to raise my brother and I. I remember meal tickets during my middle school years. We weren't poor by today's standards, but we weren't rich either. I didn't do very good in school. I mostly had a "C" average, with the occasional "D" in some subjects. Somehow, I knew when I entered high school, that I wasn't going to go very far after wards. My dad started talking about the military when I was a junior in high school. He and mom just simply couldn't afford to send me to college, and not having any achievements didn't help me much either. I pretty much buried the dream of being an architect when I was a senior. I figured I would just let the world determine my place and I would do my best at what ever I would become.
After high school, I entered the the U.S. Air Force in the Civil Engineering field. My job would be Liquid Fuels Mechanic which is basically a glorified gas station maintenance man. I was stationed at Kirtland Air Force Base in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The fuel system there was an out dated mechanical pump station that required a lot of maintenance, but was on the bottom of the funding list because of the base mission. We were a support base with no fighter aircraft, so most of the funding went to more important things. None the less, I still enjoyed my job and was just proud to be serving my country. After about a year of my enlistment, I started making friends in other career fields. One of my closest friends, David Cook, worked as a carpenter. He acknowledged my passion for construction and invited me to assist him in an off base project that he was working on. He was building a log house in the Sandia Mountains for his Pastor. This was no little cabin either. It was a 2,500 square foot home with a two car garage as well. If my memory serves me correctly, it took a little over four months to set all of the logs in place for the exterior walls of the house. This was in the late 80's, so pre-fab kits weren't in use yet. Once the shell of the home was raised, the interior walls were framed and the rest of the house was under roof within a couple of months. I remember how exhausting it was because most of the construction was done in the middle of the winter from sunup to sundown. Between the wind, cold temps and snow, winter's are brutal when you are in the valley of a mountain range. It was worth it though. This project gave me new vision and determination to do what ever it took to be a home builder/designer.
When I separated from active duty in the summer of '93, I transferred into the Air National Guard and enrolled into Cincinnati State's Architectural Engineering Program. Once I received my associates degree, I took a job with an engineering firm designing HVAC systems until I could get my feet in the door with an architectural firm. I spent my spare time studying house construction and designed floor plans of my own with my computer's CAD software. It wasn't long before I interviewed with a prominent architectural firm and was hired a drafter. Some of my accounts were Penn Station Restaurants, BW3's, Skyline Chili Restaurants and various warehouse projects as well. I loved my job at first, but that didn't last long. The company I worked for only had two other employees at the time, both of which were licensed architects. Within a year or two, the company added two more licensed associates. I longed to have some of the accounts that the other employees were given, but just didn't have the experience or the knowledge at the time. I began to grow bitter as I would spend ten or more hours a day at my computer doing design work that became repetitive and mundane to me. I wanted more! I wanted to get out in the field. I wanted to design and create things of my own.
I gave up on my dream of becoming an architect and made a career change into cabinetry construction. I worked for a couple of custom cabinetry shops for a few years before I decided to become a stay-at-home dad and start my own company as a side job. I have been doing my own thing now for the better part of ten years and have been blessed with the opportunity to create some really nice cabinetry for people; not to mention the friendships that I have established with those clients.
As this summer draws near it's end, my stay-at-home days will be over. Time for a new chapter in my life and time for some major career decisions. I am struggling with getting the work that I need to provide an income for my family. I am struggling with the thought of working for someone after being on my own for ten years. I still have a passion for architecture and I love building things with my own hands. I have even been considering going back into the Air Force to become a recruiter as a full time job and possibly doing some side work as a designer or a craftsman. If I did reenlist into the military, I would get all of my benefits back and I could retire in ten years. I feel very conflicted and scared, simply because I don't know what I should do or how to start doing it.

Here is a story I received in a devotion from my good friend, Jody Burgin. This story speaks volumes to my heart and gives me hope:

Brian Styer, wading in the shallow Pacific waters before a surfing session, had a life-altering encounter with a stingray. The stingray, with a wingspan estimated at 17 feet, fired its sharp barb through the surfer's left kneecap and out the back of his leg. For ten days, Styer, then 18, lay partially paralyzed, wondering if he would ever walk again. He did, after doctors removed a portion of the barb, declared him fit and released him.

But a sliver of the stingray's weaponry escaped detection and remained lodged in Styer's knee for more than a year. It caused fierce infection that invaded the surfer's entire leg, eroding muscle and bone. He nearly lost the limb.
12 years and 14 operations later, Styer was back on his board - dancing across the tops of the waves with the help of a custom-made alloy brace that supports and strengthens his virtually useless knee. He even realized a lifelong dream and qualified for a professional surfing contest. These days, he relies on a wide array of measures to minimize the pain, including icing the knee, ultrasound, and physical therapy. And while he sleeps each night, he wears a neurostimulator that essentially blocks the electrical impulses that inform the brain of the pain in his knee.

Drawing upon Styer's story, let me ask you a couple of personal questions:

1. What is your "lifelong dream"? Down deep inside your head, what hidden goal do you long to achieve? Think. State it to yourself. Picture it in your mind. Breakthrough living calls for a few dreams that pull us toward them.

2. How is your loyalty to that dream? Be honest. Have you started slacking off? Allowed a few obstacles to weaken your determination?

The surfer story speaks for itself., If that guy will go through all that to accomplish his dream, what can I say? Bring on the stingrays, Lord!

I have had my fair share of stingray attacks and setbacks in life. I have made some good choices and some bad choices, but all in all, I know that everything that I have encountered on my path in life has happened for a reason. I am excavating the dreams that I've once envisioned. I am dreaming again and thinking about what I want to be when I grow up. Whatever the outcome over the next couple of months, I will be grateful for what ever God provides for me and I will accept my purpose for His cause. At only forty years young, who knows, maybe my lifelong dream of becoming an architect or becoming a successful craftsman will come true.

Peace!