Stuff

Have you ever felt like everything around you is falling apart? Like everything in your life that you had security in, is all of a sudden in jeopardy? This past week has had that effect on me. Let me explain.

My wife and I have spent the past several years traveling down this path of seeking and filling. We have been seeking God and what His will is for us, and at the same time, filling our lives with things that are considered earthly treasures. All the while, thanking God for such blessings. Was His will for us just to collect stuff? Probably not. But maybe He allowed us to have such things just to show us that we wouldn't need it anyway. Confused yet?

I think that all of us feel as though we need something to make us happy at one point or another in our lives. Maybe it's a house, or furniture, or cars, or electronics, etc....etc.... But in reality, those things don't bring true happiness. I fell for that lie. I thought that the really nice house was a must. Then we had to fill the house with all of the stuff. Then came the cars. Then . . . one day I take a trip to a different country and witness people who have nothing. My world begins to fall apart. I return home and decide that we should sell our house. Well, the house has been on the market for over a year now and still not one offer has come in. We lower the price to less than what we paid for it, and still, nothing. So, we begin to put the stuff up for sale that has been occupying space in the house. This is where it starts to feel like everything is falling apart. We now have empty rooms in the house that were once filled with glamorous items. We took pride in those items. It feels odd to go into those rooms to witness emptiness. The thought goes through my head, "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away". It makes me sad. I begin to question my thoughts and my faith. Why did I feel led to sell the house only to have the market drop out from underneath us and to put us in a position of financial disaster? Does God want this for us? When is He going to deliver on His word in all of this? These are the questions that ramble through my head every minute of every day.

Then comes the stress that all of this puts our family in. Saying goodbye to things we once had joy in is hard, but knowing that we have to sell it just to replenish our depleted savings account is even harder. The mortgage consumed the savings account months ago, so something had to be done. It is even more depressing thinking that this house could have been our nest egg and then a failed market proved otherwise. There is the stress of deciding what will be sacrificed on the chopping block next. The stress of listing and coordinating everything. The continuous stress of seeing things go, and yet the house remains to be a burden. I begin to wonder if God has to strip us of the stuff inside the house first, in order to prepare us for the move.

There is a story in the Bible about a guy name Job. This guy had it all and lost it all. His children were killed as well as all of his livestock. His possessions were taken. His friends and wife turned against him. Even his health and own life was at stake. His whole world crashed around him, and yet he remained loyal and faithful to God. God allowed satin to commit all of these things on Job (but He did not give satin permission to take Job's life) in order to prove to satin that Job would remain faithful. Job remained and there was victory in God.

Lately, I have been comparing myself to Job. I have been wondering, "what's next"? Will I lose my children, my wife or my friends? Will I have the strength to remain faithful? I hope that I don't have to lose loved ones and that I will have the strength.

Only God knows what my future holds. I know that He has a plan for me/us. I know that He is protecting us from disaster. My job is to just trust Him and let Him lead. I am holding on to His word and His promise that there are greater treasures that He has in store for us, far greater than the ones that we have acquired on this earth on our own.

Peace!