Sunday, January 3, 2010

Material Possesions

I stumbled across this in a book that I'm reading:

"If you really want to know how I'm doing spiritually, all you need to do is look at my checkbook. It doesn't lie. It reveals my priorities. It reveals my passions. And it doesn't just reveal how I'm doing financially; it reveals how I'm doing spiritually. It's one of the best barometers of spiritual maturity that I know of. Don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not reducing compassion to a financial transaction. I think generosity has as much to do with time and energy as it does with money. But sometimes love is measured in dollars". The Author's name is Mark Batterson, and the book is "PRIMAL".

I have already talked about how we have been trying to sell our house since I returned from my mission to Honduras. For the past couple of months, I have been raiding every room trying to find stuff that we have accumulated that we don't use any longer. I have been giving stuff away, throwing stuff away and trying to sell items with higher value. It has been a daunting task.
Then I read this and it hits me. What does my checkbook reveal about me? It certainly shows how I have ceased to tithe. I want to give, but it just hasn't been happening. Our church even tells us that if we aren't going to give joyfully, then don't give. I have been using that as my excuse. As I look at my checkbook, I see half of our income going towards our ridiculous mortgage payment. A chunk goes to utilities. A portion goes into my new car payments. Then there's life insurance, gym memberships, eating out expenses, so on and so on. None of which any of this is being used to glorify God.
My priorities have all been self-centered and my evident passions are not HIS. The conviction to sell my Mustang has been weighing a lot on me lately. I only drive it during the summer, and even then the times are few and far in-between. This is one of those areas that I feel God chiseling into and it hurts. Cars are my passion. I don't want to lose my passion for them, so I find myself saying "Not this God. Please let me have this". I know that the money that I make from selling my car could greatly benefit the Kingdom of Heaven. It could build two or three homes in Honduras. It could go towards our building fund at church. It could be spent on a lot of things that would be a blessing to someone that is less fortunate. Yet, I hold on to it, with a grip so tight that my knuckles are white.
I am praying hard on this one. I am asking God to will me to let it go. This is part of my transformation of becoming the man that He designed me to be. So far, I have blogged about revelation and resolutions, how my marriage is damaged, and how much material "crap" I have to get rid of; and this is only my third blog of this new year. This is going to be a long, tough year. But I am up for the challenge. I have my eyes set on the Prize, and He is so worth it.

2 comments:

melanie said...

We all have our fists tightly clenched around something. I have a love/hate feeling when I realize what that something is.
Sounds like you are up for the challenge. Good luck.

Nick Calcara said...

Thanks Melanie. I really value your input. I am also thankful for yours and Jon's friendship. I hope that we can all grow closer in 2010.