Who Am I To . . . ?

I haven't blogged in a while because of a season of stress and lack of obedience. Once again, I am at a point in my life where I am taking another long hard look in the mirror, asking myself, "Am I the man that I want to be?"
I have been examining everything that is going on in my life and realizing how dependent on God that I really am. Our house has been on the market now for over a year and a half, and still, not one offer has come in. I am in the process of officially starting my business, but feel that it is going to fail. I have been connecting with men outside of the church, listening to their stories, and inviting them to my home to be a part of a group of men who will worship God, but no one shows up. I have quit going to church because I struggle with it's leadership and I feel like God is leading me to a new church as my home. I have been fighting to save my marriage, but feel like I am losing the battle most of the time. All of this I could swear that I heard God ask me, no . . . Tell me to do. I accepted the challenges and answered His call on all of these. I started off faithful, believing that He would be active in all of these, but it has all been going on for so long now, that I am starting to lose my faith.
And so the question arises, "Who am I to deny God?" Who am I to say that God can't bring a buyer for this home? Who am I to say that my business can't succeed? Who am I to decide to stop inviting men into my home to worship God? Who am I to say that my marriage can't be saved? If I am a believer in God, the One who has a plan for my life, who has asked me to do these things for Him, then I have no right to say that these things can't be done.
John 3:16-18 says, "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him." As followers, we have to trust and expect God to work in our lives, and not by our standards or conditions, but simply because He created us to do so.

Peace!