Journey

I met Ann (my wife) seventeen years ago, on Halloween night at a techno club in Columbus, Ohio. Just to let you know, this was way before my life as a follower of Christ and, as most young men, I was just living to have a good time. Ann and I danced and drank until the club closed in the early morning hours and then we spent the rest of the morning together at a friends house watching Halloween movies until the sun came up. When the morning came, we exchanged phone numbers and we said our good-byes. At that time, I was living in Columbus and Ann was living in Cincinnati. I waited five long days before I called her to ask her out on a date. She accepted, and before we knew it, we were in a long distance relationship, traveling back and forth once a week just to spend time with each other. Although it was exhausting, I rather enjoyed all of the traveling. It wasn't long though, before I decided to pack up my stuff and move to Cincy so that I could be with her all of the time.
It's hard to believe that seventeen years have gone by so quickly. We have been married now for fifteen of those years. We have had three houses, different jobs and somehow we found Christ along the way. We now have three beautiful children that I love with all of my heart. It has been the best years of my life.
I wish that I could say the same for my bride. Over the years, I have caused her a lot of emotional pain. I have said things to her that hurt her to the core of her soul. Most of the things that I've said were probably out of my own selfish pride, things that probably made me feel redeemed from my own sinful behavior. I wish that I could go back and take them back, but I can't. I can only work on the future version of me. But, right now my future looks bleak. Not that I have lost my confidence that I can be a better man for wife, but that I may have run out of chances to prove myself. My marriage has suffered a tremendous amount of blows over the past year. I have spent a better part of that year receiving counsel in hopes of becoming the man that God designed me to be, which in return, would rescue my marriage. It has been an incredible year of growth and of struggle. Each day started off with new hope, but at day's end, all of pain and distance felt so obvious.
I believe that I am a new man. A man who is passionate for Christ. A man who is passionate for his bride and for his family. A man who has developed strong friendships with other brothers in Christ. And yet, a man who is still flesh and stuck in the ways of this world. It seems no matter how much I grow and change, the same old me rears his ugly head and finds a way to destroy everything that is good. Sometimes, I really hate the"old me".
The friendships that I have developed with other Christian men have been vital to me. They are my brothers and my church. They pray for me and I do the same for them. They accept me for who I am, good and bad. These brothers have saved my life numerous times and allowed me to do the same for them. I believe that God divinely appoints people to other people. These brothers of mine have all been part of that Holy system. Most of these guys are currently divorced or were going though a divorce when I met them. I have learned so much from them and I have been provided the opportunity to pray for them and offer them spiritual advice in their times of trial. I often wondered why I was meeting so many men who were going through divorce though. Was God trying to tell me something? It's funny, when you are called to be the strong one, you think that you are doing good for someone else when in reality, these people might have very well been placed in your life to offer you something. Job 4:1-6 speaks on this: Then Eliphaz from Teman spoke up, "Would you mind if I said something to you? Under the circumstances it's hard to keep quiet. You yourself have done this plenty of times, spoken words that clarify, encouraged those who were about to quit. Your words have put stumbling people on their feet, put fresh hope in people about to collapse. But now you're the one in trouble—you're hurting! You've been hit hard and you're reeling from the blow. But shouldn't your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn't your exemplary life give you hope?" I offered these men hope and showed them that God cares for them, and when the tables were turned and my faith was tested, I found myself not living by the same standards that I offered to these brothers of mine. Nothing like a dose of Job to set you straight.
A wise friend recently reminded me that a woman is like a flower. When God introduces that woman to a man, the man is offered a seed. It is his responsibility to provide for and nurture that seed so that it can grow to become the beautiful flower that God intended her to be. I have to admit that I suck at growing things. Usually, when I purchase a plant, I stick it in the ground and surround it with whatever clay or dirt that I dug up, and then I over douse it with water so that I won't have to feed it later. This is exactly what I have done to Ann. I didn't feed or nurture her. I failed at speaking into her life and I have not inspired her at all lately. How can a man present his wife as pure and spotless before God (Ephesians 5:27) if he has not taken care of her?
Men, we are called to serve endlessly. That is one of the hardest things to do - to serve without putting our own selfish needs first. Jesus spent His life performing miracles and serving people and most of the people that He served turned their backs to Him. He never wavered though, and He never quit. He continued to do so even until that last breath was taken on the Cross. No one is going to perfect on this, it's just not in our power to. We are all of the flesh. We are all sinners. But, we have all been set free so that we might live our lives trying to do what Jesus came to show us to do. I will never give up trying to serve my wife, and that means whether she is with or without me. When we serve our wives and when we serve one another, we are serving God (Matthew 25:40)! That should be our ultimate goal. That is where our reward will come from.
Please know, that I am not sharing this story to whine or complain about my current situation. I certainly am not grieving, yet. I don't want people to feel sympathetic for me. As a follower of Christ, I want to share my life experiences to be an example of how I glorify God, in the good and the bad times (Job 2:10). I will never stop being His disciple. I will never stop chasing after my heavenly Father. I will never stop serving and loving my wife!

Prayer: "Father, I pray for those who are experiencing dark times in their marriage. I lift them up and ask that You begin a healing process with them. Offer them discernment and wisdom. Lord, please remind the men how to serve and how to avoid being selfish. I pray for a hedge of protection over these couples, that You provide a wall of security for them. The enemy comes to steal and destroy Your work O' Lord, and that begins with marriages. May these couples acknowledge that and rebuke satan, in your name Jesus! There is Victory in You God! I thank you for everything that You have done in my life! In Jesus' name, AMEN!"

Peace!