Opportunity

I was thinking about some of the choices that I have made in the past in situations where I felt God was asking me to do something for Him. Some of the things that He has asked me to do did not make any sense at the time. For example: all my life, I dreamed of becoming an architect. I went to school, received a degree, accepted a job with a great architectural firm and started a career in something that I thought I had a passion for. At about the same time, I became a follower of Christ and my wife and I were about to bring our second child into the world. It wasn't long after Eleana was born when Ann and I pondered the thought of me being the stay at home parent. We prayed about it together and both of us felt strongly that God was calling me to do this. It didn't really make sense to me, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to do something for God.
When God asks us to do something for Him, everything in us tries to understand why. Why me? What if I fail? What do I get out of it? All of these questions rise up and bet God asks; why not you? What if you don't fail? What won't you get out of it? Our plans always seem to contradict God's plans for us. His plans trump ours. When He is calling us to do something for Him, He is providing us with the opportunity to do something great for His Kingdom. When we pray, "Your will be done, Your kingdom come", that is exactly what we are getting, a chance to be part of something divine.
I believe that our prayers can be very selfish. When we pray and ask for things such as, patience, strength or courage, do you think God just gives us these abilities? Maybe He does, but I believe that He would rather give us the opportunities to be these things so that we can grow and mature in them as we live them out. Let me share this. This past summer, I was driving and I saw an older lady out in her yard doing what appeared to be some pretty labor intensive work, especially for someone of her age and her condition. It was very hot and humid, and she looked frustrated. As I passed her up, I began to pray that God would provide someone to help her. I immediately heard, "Why don't you help her Nick?" "But", "what if", and "I can't because", were all things that rattled around in my brain, but I knew that they were just excuses because I was afraid that I would get rejected or I would fail God. He was giving me the opportunity to do something awesome and meaningful. I prayed about it for a couple weeks and then I decided to take a baby step. I wrote that lady a letter, offering my help and service to her. She responded with a hand written letter saying that she really appreciated the offer, but she rather enjoys doing yard work because it is good exercise for her. Her name is Edna and she is 94 years old. She thanked for being a good Christian man and asked me to stay in touch. The funny thing is, I didn't mention anything about being Christian in my letter to her. Maybe God told her about me. All I know is that I am glad that I took the chance.
Maybe God has been calling you to do something. What do you feel like that calling is? Are you afraid to take the chance of a lifetime? With or without you, His Will be done and His Kingdom will come, so why not get on board and be a part of something divine.

Peace!

The Woman Is Wise

We have all heard the saying, "Behind every good man, there is a great woman". While some may find this hard to be true, I believe it defines my wife. Ann has always spoken truth into to me. She has always believed in me even when I found it impossible to believe in myself.
So many times in my life I have heard people tell me, "Nick, you'll never be this or that", but not from Ann. For the most part, I have always relied on her wisdom and truth that had inspired me to believe in myself. So many times though, I have let the lies overcome me and blot out her truth. I have let my own pride get in the way of receiving true wisdom, not only from her, but from God as well. I believe that God knows when my pride is going to flare up, so He uses Ann to speak His truth to me, which can only strengthen Ann even more because she allows God to work through her to get to me. Now that is a wise woman!
The Bible is full of stories that testifies to the wisdom of women. The story of Abigail, found in 1 Samuel 25, is a great example of a woman's wisdom that saved the very life of her husband. Abigail was married to Nabal who was a mean and wicked man. King David and six hundred of his men had been watching over Nabal's property. David heard that Nabal was shearing sheep, so he sent his messengers to request some meat for his men. Nabal denied even knowing who David was and hurled insults at his messengers. The messengers returned to David with the bad news and this angered David, so he gathered four hundred of his men to go with him to kill Nabal. Abigail heard of this and immediately grabbed some wine, bread, sheep and some other supplies and secretly took it to David. When she arrived, she bowed at David's feet and asked for forgiveness for her husband. David's response was this, “Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me. May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands. Otherwise, as surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, who has kept me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, not one male belonging to Nabal would have been left alive by daybreak.” Then David accepted from her hand what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your request." (1 Samuel 25:32-35). Of course, ten days later, Abigail told Nabal what had happened and he suffered a heart attack and died, which allowed David to take Abigail as his wife.
Abigail was not only wise but also brave. I believe my wife would have done the same for me, and probably has saved my life at some point during our relationship. Last November, we had an argument that could have ended our marriage. I really don't remember what the argument was about. The one thing that I do remember is when she said that she doesn't know if she loves me any more. Those words alone could end it for most. I received them. I let them sink in. I took those words and some other things that we had talked about, and began to take a long hard look at myself. I discovered that I was not being a good man to her; I was a Nabal. I decided to go to a counselor and receive help in sorting out past issues of my life that had made me the man that I was being. It was hard and very painful, and sometimes it still is. But I was destined to fix myself to become the man that she needed me to be, and most of all, the man that God designed me to be. Ann's bravery to make a stand and to share those hard words with me could have wrecked me, instead, she saved my life.
I'm still struggling with being that man that I set out to be, but where there is struggle there is growth. My focus needs to be on God and what He wants for me, but I sometimes lose sight of that and make mistakes. God has put a powerful and wise woman in my life and I have to learn how to benefit from that.
"Behind every good man, there is a great woman". Brothers, do you consider yourself a good man? If married, do you believe your wife is wise? If so, can you accredit her wisdom to some of your success? What wise advice have you denied to receive? Just some things to think about in your search for wisdom.

My wonderful and truly wise bride.

Peace!

Music To My Ears

My youngest son and I were on our way home from school yesterday when he asked me, "Why do you listen to this stuff daddy?" I was listening to Classical music (Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, etc...), and I often do in the Fall and Winter to help set the mood for the seasons. I told him that it relaxes me and he just said that it drives him crazy. He is seven, and I'm sure that someday he'll learn how to appreciate it.
This got me to thinking about a conversation that I had with one of my friends while we were at the gym. We were both sharing our dislike for a local rock station, in which I won't mention the name of but it does involve a frog. I quit listening to this station when I recognized the mood that the crap it was pouring into my ears was putting me in. Most of the songs I consider to be depressing and full of hate and really disgraceful to women. It was like porn to my ears and I didn't want it filtering through me anymore. I'm pretty sure that this was about the same time that I started walking with Christ and I am quite certain that He was making me aware of it as well.
I was listening to more and more Country at the time and would switch on and off to a couple of the Christian stations. I love Country music and the message it sends. A lot of my favorite artists sing about "life" and it really relates to me. Alan Jackson's music is a good example of this. I know, I know, most people think that Country musicians only sing about how their dog died, or how their wife left them, or how their pick-up truck quit running, but that's really not the common message anymore. It's real life with real emotions, and some of it is even God focused.
Christian music has really come a long way since my teenager years. Back then it seemed like it was either one extreme or the other, from goofy big haired bands wearing skin tight striped clothes to an over churchy gospel sound that never really clicked with me. Today, Christian music has a sound for almost any venue. From hard rocking to alternative, or from more traditional to rap, it's all there, and it's all unique but straight from the heart to God. My top three favorites include, Jars Of Clay, Mercy Me and Casting Crowns, and all three of these bands can be heard on secular stations as well. They have done a great job of becoming more mainstream and getting the Word out. My radio stations are all preset to Christian stations and I try to keep a radio on where ever I am. This helps me to stay God focused throughout the day and it also helps to keep me in a good mood as well.
I'm not saying that all classic rock and other stuff that is getting air time is trash. I dig out some of my old favorites and rock out to them every now and then, but I have to keep a limit on it. I also think that a lot of the stuff that I mentioned earlier is what a lot of these musicians are struggling with, and this is their way of crying out to God. Even gangster rappers recognize their need for God, and they share their story of life in their own ways. I believe that God hears melodies no matter what the sound is.

Peace!

God Loves Failures

If you are anything like me, you can probably count more things that you have failed at rather than succeeded at in your lifetime. I think God loves that about me, especially since I have been a believer and a follower of Him. Don't get me wrong, I think that He loves to see us succeed at things as well, but it's in those times when I fail at something that I lean on Him the most, and I believe that is what He wants the most, for us to rely on Him.
The Bible is full of stories of men who constantly missed the mark or fell short of God's desires for them; Abraham, Moses, Elijah, David and Peter are all great figures of Scripture who experienced failure. Those same stories teach us about God's Grace and His never-ending pursuit of us to overcome our failures in order to succeed for Him. My favorite story is that of a man named David which can be found in the books of 1 & 2 Samuel. David had favor with God. God knew that David would have huge struggles in his life which would lead him to constant failure. But God loved him despite his flaws and blessed him with numerous opportunities to serve Him and bring Him historical glory. This is the same David that slayed Goliath the Philistine, and grew to become anointed as Israel's second King. King David had many victories and he had God's promise that his descendants will be on the throne forever. In 2 Samuel 11, we read about how David lusted after a young woman named Bathsheba and how he would have her husband, Uriah, killed so he could be married to her. Even after this shameful act, God still loved David and kept his promise to him. I don't know what you would feel in that situation, but I would have felt like the ultimate failure and completely unworthy of God's love for me.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize".
The prize is God's Love, Grace & Forgiveness for us. When ever I am feeling like a screw-up, I am reminded of this verse, and it tells me to continue to fight, continue to run the race of life, and to continue to request and count on God's assistance in what ever the matter is. Life is full of mistakes, but it's in those times that I recover from my failure and use it as a tool of growth. We are called to learn from our failures and confess them to God. This frees us to be of service to do mightier and more successful things for Him.
Just remember that ultimately, there is nothing that we can do or say that will separate us from God's Grace. For Jesus already paid that price by giving His life for our sins (and failures) on The Cross!

Peace!

Ultimate Sacrifice

I was thinking about all of my brothers and sisters last night, those who are serving this country in the armed forces. I was thinking about the war in Afghanistan and Iraq and about how many American lives have been lost, about all of those men and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice. While I am hurting for the loss of life, I also understand the freedom of choice. As a veteran of the United States Air Force and of the Persian Gulf War, I knew full and well that I was putting my life on the line when I entered the military. I can't speak for the thousands who are currently serving, but I can guarantee that they are aware of the risk of death, especially in these days with the certainty of war.
My good friend, Steve Nixon, sent me an email that I have seen before, but still never ceases to amaze me every time I read it. Here is a part of it:

There was an officer in the army sitting on the other side of me. He was flying back to Afghanistan and said something that really surprised me. I asked him what was one of the biggest misconceptions about Afghanistan and here’s what he told me: “We statistically lose more 18-25 year old soldiers when they go home for R&R than we do in combat in the field.” That surprised me. If you asked me which was more dangerous, being in the middle of an armed conflict in Afghanistan or going home for a few weeks of rest and relaxation, I’d pick the first option. But the more the army officer explained it, the more it made sense. “What sometimes happens is that you have folks that go back home after being out of the country for months at a time. They’re flush with cash, haven’t been in a lot of social situations lately and think they’re out of danger.” They buy motorcycles and crash them. They make crazy financial situations that wreck them. They get in DUIs. In a million different ways they make the kind of mistakes that can ruin you. All at home. All on vacation.

I get very upset when I see a bumper sticker that says "Bring Our Troops Home", or "End The War". Too me, that is such a disgrace. It is cutting the legs out from under every soldier who has made the choice to defend his country. Where are all of the bumper stickers that say "No More Drinking or Partying"? Maybe it is the fact that we as humans value life too much. Maybe that goes against us. I think that we all get hung up on the idea that this is it, our one go at it, and when we are dead, that's it. The fact is that this is not our home. This is just a transition place before Heaven and Eternity.
There will always be a war to fight. War is Biblical, and I support any war that goes against evil. There is a real enemy and his name is Satan, and we are all God's soldiers and are asked to stand against the enemy. When I think of ultimate sacrifice, I think of Jesus and what He did on the Cross. He defeated the enemy with His victory over death. Jesus is the ultimate Hero! I have never seen a bumper sticker that says, "Jesus Is A Wimp", and if there is one, I feel sorry for the person sporting it around. I hope that I get the opportunity to go out fighting, just like my hero Jesus did.

Father God, I lift up all of my brothers and sisters who are serving this nation that I have been blessed to live in. I ask You to provide them with strength and stamina. I pray for Your will to be done with the war, Lord. Father, again I acknowledge that you are in full control of what transpires in this fallen world. Thank You God, for all of Your provisions and Your everlasting Grace. And thank You for all of the men and women who have paid the ultimate sacrifice!
In Your beautiful name Jesus, Amen.

Peace!

Iron Sharpens Iron

On November 3rd, I will be starting a new Men's Group at my home. The group will be called "Iron Sharpens Iron", and it will be a place for men to come and connect with other men who are seeking God in their lives. The idea, or should I say calling, came to me this past spring, and I have put a lot of thought and prayer into it since then. In one of my recent blogs, I questioned the thought of God wanting me to be a Pastor. I still don't think that I want that title, instead, I like to consider myself a disciple (or a follower) and a Shepard of sorts. None the less, I am looking forward to the challenge of leading a group of men in finding their faith, and I thank God for His calling upon me to do this.

The name, "Iron Sharpens Iron", comes from the Bible passage - Proverbs 27:17, which states, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another". This is what defines us as men. We are to hold one another accountable for our actions. We are called to lead each other and to teach each other. We are responsible for each other and are required to live our lives by God's standards as we grow together.

I chose the symbol of the sword because it is a weapon of a true warrior that is made from "iron". The sword is the word of God in which He bestows upon us to fight the enemy, Satan. The Latin engraving on this sword, "In Hoc Signo Vinces", stands for, "with this as your standard you shall have victory", and according to legend, *(Constantine 1 adopted this Greek phrase, "εν τούτῳ νίκα", as a motto after his vision of a chi rho on the sky just before the Battle of Milvian Bridge against Maxintius on 28 October 312. The early Christian symbol consists of a monogram composed of the Greek letters chi (X) and rho (P), the first two letters in the name Christ (Greek: Χριστός). In later periods the christogram "IHS" both stood for the first three letters of "Jesus" in Latinized Greek (Ιησούς, Latinized IHSOVS) and "in hoc signo" from the legend. The historian Eusebius states that Constantine was marching with his army (Eusebius doesn't specify the actual location of the event, but it's clearly not in the camp at Rome), when he looked up to the sun and saw a cross of light above it, and with it the Greek words "εν τούτῳ νίκα" ("by this, be victorious!", often rendered in Latin as In hoc signo vinces). At first, Constantine didn't know the meaning of the apparition, but in the following night, he had a dream in which Christ explained to him that he should use the sign against his enemies. Eusebius then continues to describe the Labarum, the military standard used by Constantine in his later wars against Licinius, showing the Chi-Rho sign.)
*(by Wikipedia)

My prayer is that God will put it on the hearts of the men who have been invited to attend. Either way, it is in His hands and I will simply be His vessel and do what ever He asks of me with this. If you are a man in search of your faith, or wanting to connect with other Christian men, and this group sounds interesting to you, please call me at 513.403.5058 or email me at ncalcara@roadrunner.com.

Peace!

Believe

I was reading my daily devotional yesterday when I came across this passage:

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (Matthew 21:22)

I didn't think anything of it at first and finished up my quiet time (time alone with God) by reading the Bible and praying. As I was praying, I found myself asking, "Do I really, REALLY believe?" I have to admit that doubt started to slip in and it began to overwhelm me. I have been praying for God to help us with the sale of our home and to rescue us from foreclosure, but still, we wait while nothing happens. I have been praying for God to take Ann's diabetes away, but still, she lives with it. I have been praying for God to reveal Himself in my daily activities and struggles, but I am too busy focusing on other things to see Him doing so.

The day went on and I continually allowed myself to get depressed until I felt completely detached from God. This lead to fatigue and a terrible migraine. I was down for the count.

As I was laying down, trying to relieve my headache, my wonderful bride returned home from work and came to my side. She gently rubbed my back and asked me what was wrong and I shared with her what was on my mind. She didn't interrupt or suggest anything, she just listened. When I was finished, she waited for a few moments and then shared a story with me. The story was about our son Dominick and how he is longing for his own cell phone, and although we think that now is not the right time for him to have one, we know that someday soon we will give him one. Ann was comparing Dominick's hopes for a cell phone to my prayers and whatever I have asked God for. Sounds like something Jesus would have done, doesn't it?

I have talked about God's timing before and that is pretty much what it comes down to. God knows what is best for His children. He does listen and He always provides. Praying is 50/50, which means that we have to listen for His Word just as much as we speak from our lips. Praying requires patience and awareness. And most of all, praying relies on us believing. If we didn't believe in God and His promises to us, why would He even bother listening to us in the first place?

My day ended with me thinking about all of the blessings in my life. I thought about all of the prayers that were answered or unanswered as well. As I was thinking of these, I closed my eyes and prayed to my God and thanked Him for the day and for everything that He has done in my life.

Do you believe? If not, take count of the blessings in your life.

Peace!