Something To Do

Tuesday morning started off just like any other Tuesday this week; get up, wake the kids up, make breakfast, pack lunch, prepare backpacks and get kids off to school. The morning ritual happens between 6:30 and 8:30. I walked home from the bus stop and began to wonder what I was going to do today. That's when it hit me. I had nothing to do.
I have spent the past three weeks, of this new school season, creating ways to get my business advertised. I created my own website from a blog, posted ads in local business magazines, handed cards out and by word of mouth. I know that this is going to be a long process and I shouldn't expect things to happen overnight, but I slipped into panic mode. "What if this doesn't work out?" and "How long is this going to take?" were questions that began to consume my mind. I have had all summer to prepare for this. I knew that my days as a stay-at-home dad would soon be coming to an end as my youngest was about to begin his adventure as a first grader. I thought I would be ready, but this Tuesday proved to me that I wasn't.
I took care of a few things that needed tending to around the house and that only lasted a couple of hours. As I sat down for a moment to take a rest, the boredom and loneliness began to set in. To me, that is a very dangerous place. That is a place where old habits rear their dark heads. I started to feel hurt as I was missing the company of my little boy that I have spent so many mornings with for the past several years. I felt lazy and weak, and a huge feeling of worthlessness came over me as a man without work or purpose might feel. I turned on the t.v. and began to watch some old sitcoms and I drifted off to sleep.
I think God spoke to me as I lay there napping on the couch. He was trying to comfort me and strengthen me at the same time. I know that He wants what is best for me and that it hurts Him when I am struggling with sins of the past. My mind was a battlefield. A war was going on between God's Love and Passion for me and the enemies lies of temptation. Still, I lay there motionless in a half state of sleep, fully aware of my thoughts and surroundings. That's when I began to pray, "God, please give me something to do."
I went to bed that evening saying the same prayer. I woke up the next morning, again, repeating that prayer. As I went through my day, I tried to keep myself busy to protect myself from boredom. I kept saying that prayer over and over in my head. I went to the gym to get some exercise which is really important to keep not only my body in condition, but my mind as well. I kind of went through the motions of my exercise routine because I had a headache and ultimately did not feel like being there. Those can be the best sessions because I am pushing myself through it. I finished my workout and then I ran into Pat. He is a guy that I have blogged about before ("At The Gym"). I value our conversations a lot these days because they are God focused and it gives me an opportunity to speak about what God is doing in my life. Pat shares his stories as well and I always leave there thinking about and praying for that guy.
As I walked to my car, I began to wonder, "now what"? I got into my car and began making phone calls to guys who are close to me to ask for prayer and wisdom. My phone rang, and I answered. It was a lady requesting some work from me. Out of the blue, my prayer was answered. God was giving me something to do. It's not much, just a car detailing job, but it's enough and I believe it's a start. I believe that God will provide for me as long as I am humble, honest and patient with Him. As long as I seek Him in everything that I do, then He will reveal Himself. Luke 11:9 says, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" (New International Version).

My prayer is that God will provide for you. That he will keep you from being bored and that His company will keep you from feeling lonely. I pray that walls of pride and stubbornness come down so that you too can humbly ask Him for what you want.

Peace!