I have been examining my generosity this past week. I used to consider myself a generous person. I gave when ever I had the chance to give whether it meant offering my time, lending a helping hand or tithing without feeling guilty about it. My wife and I even gave a minivan to a friend who needed one at the time. I have never even fathomed the thought of giving a car away, but I have to admit, we did it without hesitating and it felt awesome.
Somehow, over the course of the past few years, my generosity has turned into greed. I think this has been a slow process, but it is ever so obvious to me now. Instead of offering my time, I would rather do nothing. Instead of lending a hand, I have wondered "What's in it for me"? Instead of tithing, I have wasted our finances away not even saving a penny.
I am in the process of making changes in my life to get back to being a generous person. I am trying offer as much of me as possible. I am trying to focus on not gaining anything in return. I started tithing again at the beginning of this year, and that feels good. But I am struggling with all of it. I can't help but wonder if God will reward me for this behavior. I have been burnt by having selfish motives in the past and it is a hard habit to get rid of.
Jesus has always taught us that it is better to give than to receive. 2 Corinthians 9 reminds us of God's promise of a bountiful harvest to those who sow bountifully. The key is to not expect anything in return or not to hoard what we have. We are called to be joyful givers, not careful conservatives.
Last night, Ann and I spent the best two hours together for the first time in a long time. Our friend Whitney Woodburn, who once nannied for us, called and offered to take the kids out for putt-putt and ice cream so that Ann and I could have some time alone together. Whitney and her husband Paul are two of the most generous people that I know, and what they gave us last night was a well needed gift. My eyes and my heart were reminded of what it is like to be that generous and it has created a desire for me to give.
So, what is stopping you from being generous? Do you feel guilty when you give or joyful? Do you believe that God wants to bless you for being generous? Just some things to think about as you examine your own generosity. God has given us so much and we don't even deserve it. He has even paid the ultimate price for us by giving His life for ours.
Thank you Whitney and Paul! You two are perfect examples of Jesus on display!
Peace!
1 comment:
It's a beautiful place to be between struggle and progress. The fact that you have become numb in some ways to generosity and He is awakening you to that is a gift in and of itself. Thanks for the openness and transparency here. A lot of us can benefit from this awakening.
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