Wanting & Giving

So, the holidays are just around the corner, again, and the kids already have their two and half page Christmas lists composed. I'm still amazed at how much stuff that they think they need. Of course, I wasn't much different when I was a kid. I remember sitting down with that huge Service Merchandise catalog on my lap, and gazing at the toy pages for hours. These days, the kids are bombarded with toy commercials on all of the cartoon channels, in addition to all of the separate toy ads we receive in the mail. I try to put myself in their shoes and imagine what it would feel like to be a kid these days. I guess it's all relative, really. A kid is a kid and they will always want toys, no matter how much the sensory overload.
A good friend of mine told me how they were doing Christmas a few years ago, and last year, my wife and I decided to give it a try. Jesus received gifts from the three wise men (kings). If that was good enough for Jesus, then it is definitely good enough for our kids. Three (individual) gifts, it really doesn't sound like much. But with the cost of toys these days and multiply that to our three kids, it is plenty. We throw in some family gifts like games or something the whole family can do as well, but they still only get three items from their hundred item lists.
Then I began thinking about my wants and needs. I am ashamed at all that I have. I have gotten into a bad habit of buying what ever I want, when I want it. This makes things hard for people to give me gifts, as if I deserve them anyway. The thing that I am most ashamed of is my determining what I need. Ultimately, God a plan for this. But being the wonderful God that He is, He allows me to make the choices (and purchases) that I make, all the while knowing that I will come crying to Him. He knows that I need Him more than anything on this earth. Somehow, I have gained this sense of thinking that I know what is best for me. I have forgotten all of times that He has really provided for me when things were tight, and how He rewarded me when I really counted on Him. He wants to give us gifts. Things that we could not have even imagined receiving. True surprises. Have you ever had that feeling when you thought of something to give to that one person that you truly love, and it was something that totally took them by surprise? That's what God wants for us. He wants to please us and surprise us. He wants to bless us and provide for us. And I can only receive this if I count on Him. I want to . . . no, I have to get out of the habit of self-blessing. I want gifts from my Father, but most of all, I just want to have a relationship with Him.
Check out this video from Rob Bell. Peace!