Control Freak

I am a control freak! Last night, I was in a meeting with a group of guys that are pretty similar to me. We are all a bunch of messed up, ragged out, trying to find our way in this world men. We have come together to participate in a church based curriculum called "Reset". Reset is a course to rediscover and reevaluate who Jesus is and what our assumptions of Him are. Our topic of discussion last night was fears and control. Control...what can I say about control? I control every aspect of my life. I control what I eat or drink. I control when I rest. I control how I get to and from someplace. I control pretty much everything my kids do or don't do, or at least I try to. I control the cleanliness of my house, my car, my yard and even my body, and did I mention that I am a neat freak as well, so there is an extra emphasis on control of cleanliness. There is so much need for control in my life. But, what if you were to take some of it away from me? How would I function? I'll get to that in a minute. Where does the need for control come from? I have absolutely no idea where I got this from. My other thought is, what if I'm not really in control of anything? What if it is all an illusion to myself? It's as if the world would stop working if I lost control. The last time I checked, I'm not God, and the world seems to functioning perfectly fine without me. I guess the problem now is, how do I control my need for control? On April 21-28, I will be on a Mission trip in Honduras. I will not be controlling how I get there. I will not be controlling my meals. I will not be at home, here in Cincinnati, controlling my job or family life. I will be at a loss of total control. It will be like being on an episode of "Twilight Zone". I hope to learn something about myself. I hope to discover something new about God. I will let Him be in control and I think something awesome will happen in respect to it.